Feet First, Don't Fall
by SereneCalamity
Summary: Jace and Clary were good friends, and a lot of the time, they were more friends. It was just for fun, nothing exclusive or serious, and that was enough, right? Clace.
1. Chapter 1

_I've got a couple of new stories that I'm starting! They're not going to be added to my normal updating list yet, because they're not going to be updated regularly just yet. I wanted to get your feedback, see what you all thought, and of course_ — _I'm still working on my current stories! The title for this song is from the song by Halsey called_ Roman Holiday.

 _So, I hope you guys enjoy this new story!_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own the characters._

The club was filled, a typical Saturday night, sweaty, drunk people twined together in a group in the middle of the dance floor and strobe lights spinning around the room, the fluorescent glow of green and pink puddles. The DJ was keeping the crowd screaming and jumping, and even the people who weren't in the centre of the dance floor were all bouncing to the sound of the music as they stood on the side-lines or ordered drinks at the bars.

"What about that one?" Jace Wayland nodded across the crowded club to where a petite brunette was standing with her friends at a high table. She had been shooting looks over at a table full of guys next to them, but didn't appear exceptionally interested in them. "She clearly wants to hook up tonight, but she doesn't look interested in the douche bags next to her. Give her something different," he smirked across at his friend over the rim of his beer bottle.

"But she's surrounded by her herd," Jordan Kyle stuck out his lower lip in a pout. "We need to get her away from them.

"And that is why we have our wing woman," Jace grinned, slinging an arm around Clarissa Fray's shoulders. Clary crinkled up her nose and poked out her tongue. "C'mon, Clare. This man has not been laid in two weeks—take pity on him!" Clary looked over at Jordan, who blinked up at her with big, puppy dog eyes and was just looking generally pathetic. Jace laughed, taking another drink from his beer. Clary let out a huff and threw back the butterscotch shot they had just ordered a round of, rolling her shoulders and rubbing her lips together to even out her dark coloured lipstick. She huffed out a breath through her nose and narrowed her eyes. "Look at her—getting her game face on," Jace teased lightly with a grin, poking her in the side lightly.

"Shut up," Clary rolled her eyes. "Or else I'll leave you fuckers to fend for yourself." She winked at them before turning on her heel to face the group of girls.

"Go get 'em, girl," Jace laughed, slapping her on the ass as she walked away, a slight swing her hips as she went. Clary joined the group of girls at their table, and a moment later she was laughing and talking to them. "She's a natural."

"Doesn't it worry you how much we need her?" Jordan asked, tilting his head to the side as he watched the redhead work. "I mean, guys have been getting laid for years without a wing woman, and here we are, relying full on a chick."

"Not just any chick," Jace corrected. "Our chick. And dude—I've seen you attempt to function without Clare. It's not pretty."

"What are you on about?" Jordan looked indignant as he finished his drink. "I got with that waitress when we went on that bachelor weekend." Jace tilted his head to the side, squinting slightly as he remembered back to the night several months ago.

"I'm actually pretty certain that was out of pity," Jace said. "And she was a six at best, with the worst laugh in the world. No where near as attractive in any way, shape or form as a girl that you could pull with Clare." Jordan looked as though he was about to argue but then Jace continued with a snort. "And I'm not just talking about with girls. I'm talking about wth life in general. Whenever we're having a shit day, it's her and Izzy that are coming over and bringing us beer and weed and Maccas." Jordan scoffed but Jace continued, grinning. "They were the ones that organized the party bus for your twenty-first and Clare was the one who found out that girl you were dating was a stripper and just after your money."

"To be honest, I could have done without finding out about Leeah for a little bit longer," Jordan grinned, remembering back fondly to the girl from about six months ago. "That girl could suck cock like a—"

"Jordan," came a sharp voice from behind him and he cut off his sentence, spinning around on his heel and facing Clary and the curvy, curly haired brunette he had been eyeing. Clary narrowed her eyes warningly at him for a moment before smiling brightly at the girl next to her, a complete transformation of the look her eyes were giving off, something only Jace and Jordan would be able to read. "Jordan, this is Maia Roberts. She's just started an internship at the _Idris News_. Maia," she waved a hand to her friend. "This is Jordan, one of my best friends."

"Hey," Maia grinned up at Jordan and stuck out her hand. Jordan, ever the smooth one, reached out and took Maia's hand turning it over at kissing the back. Maia looked over at Clary with raised eyebrows and the redhead tried to smother her snort of amusement. Jordan and Maia walked off toward the bar, Jordan shooting a 'thank you' smile over his shoulder before turning all of his attention back to the woman at his side. Clary and Jace watched them for a moment before shaking their heads and exchanging glances.

"That boy would be lost without you," Jace commented with a grin.

"Oh, don't lie," Clary smirked. "You would _both_ be fucking lost without me." She thought about it for a second and then tilted her head to the side. "Actually, scratch that—your whole bloody household would be lost without me!"

"And me!" Came a cheerful voice from behind them before an arm was being thrown around Clary's shoulder and Isabelle Lightwood was standing with them, a grin on her face. "Don't forgot about me!"

"I'm pretty sure you would never let anyone ever forget about you," Jace shot at her and she pursed her lips in the motion of blowing a kiss over at him before bumping her hip against Clary's.

"C'mon, girl, let's dance!" She said, grabbing her friends hands and dragging her toward the dance floor. Clary shot one last grin at Jace before letting the dark haired girl drag her toward the throngs of people who were all gyrating and moving against each other. Jace followed the pair of them with his eyes, watching as Clary lifted her hands above her head and started jumping to the music, shouting out the lyrics.

"Dude! I was wondering where you were!" Simon Lewis appeared beside Jace, looking enthusiastically out of place, as per usual. His glasses were a little crooked and his hair was all mussed up, sticking in all directions.

"You're kind of a mess there, Lewis," Jace smirked at him and purposefully ruffled the younger boys hair, making it even worse. Simon rolled his eyes and smacked his hand away, dodging away from him. "Where are Alec and Magnus at?"

"I don't know," Simon looked over his shoulder, back in the direction that he had come from. "Magnus was hitting on some dude with a weird looking hair cut, and Alec was looking all mopey about it." Jace rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Are we heading back to Kaelie's? They've got a couple of sober drivers who are heading out soon."

"Oh yeah," Jace nodded. "I'll text her, find out when she's leaving." He pulled out his phone and sent off a message to Kaelie Whitewillow, and then looked back up at Simon. "Are you bringing anyone back? A girl, maybe?" He nudged Simon pointedly, but Simon just rolled his eyes and huffed.

It had always been pretty clear that there was only two girls in Simon's life—Clary and Izzy. His best friend, and the love of his life.

The problem with being in love with Isabelle was that she was completely and blissfully unaware of it all, and she was happily breaking the hearts of most of the men in their neighbourhood and their bordering towns. She was one of the most observant people around, but she didn't see that the kid she had grown up with and known pretty much all of her life was head over heels in love with her.

A text from Kaelie came back quickly and Jace nodded.

"Sweet, she's heading out now, we should go out and meet them so we can get a ride," Jace told Simon. "Yo, Jord!" He shouted loudly, to be heard over the music, and Jordan still didn't seem to hear him, so Jace turned back to Simon. "Go get the girls and get them out front, I'll get Jordan and his new chick." Simon nodded and stumbled toward the dance floor, the alcohol clearly impairing his walking skills. "Hey, man," Jace clapped his hands down on Jordan's shoulders, earning a glare from his friend who was trying very hard to make a good impression on Maia. "We're all heading back to Kaelie's place, more drinks and shit." Jordan glanced over at Maia with a hopeful look.

"Did you want to come with us?" He asked. Maia looked a little uncertain, but then looked over Jace's shoulder to where Clary and Isabelle were joining them again with Simon and she called out,

"Are you going to this after party thing?"

"Sure am," Clary replied with a grin. "You should come—we'll take care of you, promise," she reached past the two boys and gripped Maia's wrist, the curly haired girl looking a lot more at ease now that she knew it wasn't just going to be the boys going back to this party. She let Clary drag her away from the boys and toward the front of the club. Jace smirked as he looked back at Jordan.

"And this is why we need her," Jace reminded him, and Jordan laughed and rolled his eyes, throwing his arm around Jace and the pair of them heading out of the club. He wondered idly if Alec Lightwood or Magnus Bane would be coming back to Kaelie's as well, but they were big boys, they could take care of themselves. Anyway, if what Simon said before was true, Magnus was probably already making a move on someone, which meant that Alec was going to be sulking for the rest of the night, and just a general pain to be around.

The pair of them were terrible, it was as though they were incapable of going out together and both of them actually having a good time. Especially if there was another girl or guy thrown in the mix.

It made them close to impossible to live with.

It was lucky that Simon, Jordan and Jace loved them as though they were their brothers.

Kaelie and the house that she shared with two of her friends, the three of them making up a trio of bimbo's, was only about ten minutes away from the middle of the town where the club was, and by the time they got there, music was already turned up loud and they were pulling out bottles of alcohol from the cupboard. Maia seemed a lot more comfortable, much to Jordan's relief, and there were a couple of people at the house that she seemed to know.

It was almost two o'clock by the time Jace found himself a spot in the lounge, and was surprised to see Alec stumbling over to him, his eyes bloodshot from the weed that they had been smoking sporadically through the night.

"Didn't think you were going to make it," Jace smirked at him as he shifted over on the couch so that the handsome, dark haired man could fall down on the couch next to him. "You done making googley eyes at Bane?"

"Fuck up," Alec grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. Jace was about to say something when Kaelie, their very drunk host, came bumbling over, letting out a giggle as she collapsed on Jace's lap and threw an arm around his neck to hold herself in place. She started talking about something that had happened earlier in the week, but Jace wasn't particularly interested. Kaelie didn't really have any substance to her, but she was hot, and she was a good fuck. Plus she was living off mummy and daddy's money and was always throwing parties with booze and drugs, and happy to share them around, so she was a good one to keep around.

About half an hour later, Alec was passed out on the couch next to the pair of them, and Kaelie had stopped trying to talk, mouthing at Jace's neck and trying to get his attention. He rubbed his thumb lazily against her back for a few minutes, mainly ignoring her, before Jordan called out that he and Maia were going for a walk. The boys house was only a couple of blocks away, they would be safe getting back there. Jace pushed Kaelie off his lap and went over to say goodbye to his friend before going into the kitchen. He was feeling light headed and woozy, and he found a glass in one of the cupboards, filling in with water and throwing it back, waiting for it to settle in his stomach. As he was about to go back into the lounge, mainly to make sure Alec was still breathing rather than to re-join Kaelie, he caught a glimpse of a red head disappearing upstairs. Jace watched after her as she skipped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her, and then glanced back into the lounge.

Alec was still unconscious and Kaelie had moved onto her next victim, who looked more than happy to give her the attention that Jace had been depriving her of. Jace turned and headed up the stairs, knocking twice on the door.

"Someone's in here," Clary called out. Jace knocked again and he heard her let out an annoyed. "Fucking hell—someone's in here—didn't you hear me?!" Jace rolled his eyes and pushed open the door. Clary was leaning over the bathroom sink, attempting to clean up the make up around her eyes that had started to smudge. Clary's face changed when she saw that it was Jace standing there, pulling the door shut behind him, eyebrows lifting.

"Hey," he greeted her in a low voice.

"Get tired of the skank downstairs?" Clary smirked at him, before he was flicking the lock on the door and closing the distance between them, grabbing her thighs easily so that her legs were wrapped around his waist and smashing his lips down on hers.

 _I wanted to take a moment to rave about a couple of things I've watched on Netflix. Obviously, there's_ Jessica Jones _. Okay, I know, I know, I'm a total Marvel freak, but it's amazing! I've had a few friends who aren't into Marvel at all who watched and they were in love. The second is a documentary,_ Hot Girls Wanted. _It's kinda...Sad and shit, but it's really good. About girls who get into amateur porn and don't really know what they're getting themselves into. And then_ Sense8. _Ohmygod._ Sense8. _It is absolutely incredible. I wasn't into it at first, but I stuck with it, and we binged on the whole season in the weekend. It was unlike anything else I've watched, and I definitely recommend._

 _Oh shit!_ AND I SAW _Captain America: CIVIL WAR_ LAST WEEKEND! _Holy shit. Just as good as I had hoped. Couple of things I was a little iffy on but *sighs dreamily* it was very good. Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner all in one movie makes me very happy :) So if anyone is a Marvel fan and wants to fangirl, don't hold back! Especially if you want to fangirl about Stucky or Sebastian Stan talking in Russian or Wanda, who I absolutely fell in love with in this movie._

 _But especially Sebastian talking in Russian, that was like a spiritual experience._

 _Let me know what you think, reviews make me super happy, plus it's my birthday! And let me know if you want a preview xx_


	2. Chapter 2

_Next chapter! So, like I said, there's no fixed schedule for these three new stories I've got going, it's just that I've been working on this particular one for about two or three months so I've got a few chapters already written, so I can post the next one sooner than the others! There was something I mean to say in the first chapter, but I just completely forgot, which was my oversight, because it was very important. I wanted to say a massive thank you to_ FrenchBenzo _, who listens to all of my ramblings with new story ideas and helps me to focus, and I wouldn't be functioning properly without her! She helps me work through the messes in my head which occurs because I just get so many ideas :)_

 _Please make sure you're taking a minute to leave a comment, just a few words, at the end. There's lots of you guys reading and following, and it means a lot for you to take a moment to say something :)_

"Shit, man," Alec groaned and balled his hands into fists, rubbing at his eyes. "What time is it?" There was no reply from the sleeping people around him and he looked around, trying to recognize where he was. He wasn't in his room, he knew that for certain, and he screwed up his nose when he saw Magnus and whatever boy toy he had brought stretched out on the couch just across from him. He wanted to glare, but that would mean furrowing his gaze, and that would inflict even more of a headache in his pounding brain. He closed his eyes and let his head drop back to the pillow that he had been sleeping on. It must be close to the middle of the day, but the house was still utterly silent, except for the noise coming from someone who was sleeping in the corner, letting out intermittent snores. "Shit."

"Shut up," came a grouch from someone else in the room, who was clearly waking up as well. There was a thump, probably a pillow being thrown, and whoever was snoring stopped. Alec opened his eyes again, the world looking a little less blurry this time, and he looked over to the couch again, unable to stop himself.

When he did, he met Magnus's gaze, his entrancing eyes now open.

Magnus stared back at him, unrelenting, and Alec couldn't breathe, chewing down on his lower lip.

"Oi, bitches," came a snap from the doorway. "It's time to get up and get the fuck out of my house." For a moment, no one moved, but then Kaelie stomped her foot against the floor and repeated herself louder. "Everyone get up!" It started slowly, a few moans and groans as people woke up and then Alec heard Simon's voice from somewhere in the room.

"Piss off, Kaelie," he grumbled. Alec smirked, even though he knew that the kid was probably going to flicked behind the ears for his comment on the way out. There must have been about eight or nine people in the lounge, although Jace, Clary and Izzy weren't a part of them Alec noted as he looked around. He wondered when they had left, and was then pretty pissed that they had left him there alone.

Or at least, alone with Simon, Magnus, Magnus' lover and a bunch of drunk people.

He fumbled around in his pocket to find his phone, thankful when he pulled it out and saw that he still had some charge left. He rolled over, feeling his stomach lurch and needing to take a minute to let his body settle back down before he got to his feet. He stretched his arms above his head, rolling his neck before looking down at his phone and speed-dialing Jace's number. It rang a couple of times before it clicked, indicating that someone had answered.

"Hello?" Clary asked in a slurred voice.

"Clary? Yo, is Jace there?"

"Yeah, he's in the shower. You need a pick up?" She asked, sounding a little bit more awake now.

"Yeah, me and Simon and Magnus," Alec replied as he ran his hand through his spiky hair, trying to straighten it out from the mess it had become in the night.

"He'll be there soon, okay? You still at Kaelie's?"

"Yup," Alec answered. "Thanks, Clary."

"All goods," she hung up the call and Alec shoved his phone back in his pocket. Magnus was sitting up now, his eyeliner looking a little smudged from last night but somehow still managing to look absolutely fucking gorgeous. Alec quickly redirected his eyes and stalked out of the room, past Kaelie and her bitchy room mate and outside, a stab of pain in the side of his head as the sun hit his eyes. A few more people came out of the house, getting ready to do the walk of shame, and Alec was very glad that he had a ride on the way.

"Is Jace on the way?" Simon asked, his voice rough as he appeared behind him.

"Yup," Alec muttered as Magnus came out of the house as well. They were all looking crumpled and messy after their night of drinking, and all Alec wanted to do was get home and sleep. "Oh, shit, uh," he turned and looked back into the house. "Do you know if Jordan was in there?"

"I didn't see him," Magnus mumbled as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his camera application, turning it on selfie mode so that he could study his eye makeup, scrutinizing his reflection.

"You look like a raccoon," Alec grunted and Magnus rolled his eyes at him before trying to smudge it off with his thumb. Alec watched him for a moment, unaware of the way Simon was grinning knowingly at them. Kaelie came out of her house and sidled up to Alec, giving him a smile. "Morning, Kaelie," Alec attempted to give her a smile, even though he really had no patience for the girl, or her room mate and best friend, Seelie Queen.

"You know, when I was telling everyone to piss off, I didn't mean you," she linked her arm through his. "You could stay, Seelie is cooking up breakfast."

"Uh," Alec's eyes were wide as he looked over at Simon, trying to search for an excuse. "Oh, uh, Jace is already on his way here," he smiled, more out of relief. "Sorry—maybe another time, yeah?"

"Sure," Kaelie reached up and kissed him on the cheek before he was almost running off in the direction of Jace's beat up pick up truck. Jace was alone in the truck, so Clary must still be back at the house or he dropped her off on his way over to pick them up. Alec got in the front seat and Magnus and Simon got in the back. "Bye!" Kaelie called from where she was standing on the balcony.

"That girl never gives up, does she?" Jace smirked as they all waved at her out the window and pulled away from the footpath.

"No, she does not," Alec mused with a shake of his head. "Doesn't she get I'm into the D and not the V?" There was a snort from the backseat and Jace grinned across at his best friend.

"Maybe she thinks that she can convert you," Simon piped up. "You could be her pet project or some shit."

"Whatever," Alec rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, did Jordan go home with you last night? We didn't seem him in there."

"Nah, he was gone before we left," Jace replied. They were turning down the road where their home was, which in reality, was probably only a ten minute walk from Kaelie's house. Alec knew, though, that he wouldn't have been able to make it home in the hot, bright sun that was shining down. It had only been a few minutes out in the light, and his eyes were already feeling like they were going to burn out of his head. He was pretty sure he was going to be in the bathroom, throwing up his stomach contents for the rest of the afternoon.

"Is Clary here?" Simon asked as the car parked up underneath the rickety car port, making a choking, puttering sound that it always did, but that they never fixed. The car was technically Jace's, brought when they were all back in high school with money that he had saved, working long hours as a life guard, although they all used it, given they only had two cars between the five of them, Jace's and Simon's. It was still his pride and joy, all these years later, even though it broke down on a regular basis.

"Yeah, I think so," Jace shrugged as they walked inside, Alec kicking at the overgrown hedge that had long ago taken over the path in front of the house. Hodge Starkweather, their neighbor, was out doing the lawns, and he yelled out a 'hello' over the fence, the boys all greeting him back one by one as they headed inside. The house smelt like faintly of weed and cheap deodorant and Clary's perfume, and the curtains were all still shut, blocking out the sun. Magnus instantly went to the kitchen, followed by the other two boys, and they pulled out cold bottles of vitamin water from the fridge, swallowing back the flavored water to try and settle their churning stomachs.

"Hey, guys!" Clary sung out as she skipped into the room, wearing a pair of cut off denim shorts and a baggy shirt that was one of the boys, probably Jace or Simon's.

"Shit, not so loud, Clare," Magnus groaned, wincing as he felt a pain stab through his head. Clary grinned but lowered her voice, poking her tongue out at them, the little silver piercing glinting.

"I'm heading out, I'll see you guys later," she said as she reached forward and pressed kisses to each of the boys cheeks in turn, except for Jace, who kissed her hard on the mouth and grabbed a handful of her ass, giving it a squeeze. "Tell Jordan I said 'hi'," she called out over her shoulder as she walked out the front door. Jace watched her go, putting his fingers to his lips and smudge away the trace of lip gloss that was left there and then turned back to his friends.

"You guys think that we should look for Jordan?" He asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

"He was getting pretty cozy with some chick last night," Simon shrugged.

"He'll be off, having her ride him unconscious," Alec snorted.

"And there is no fucking way I'm leaving this house again without a shower and a ten hour nap," Magnus announced, finishing off his bottle of vitamin water and walking out of the kitchen, toward the bathroom.

"I second that," Simon raised his hand. "Although, the whole ten hour nap might just be a little excessive."

"Because Magnus is never excessive," Alec snorted with a roll of his eyes. Jace smirked as he walked into the lounge, falling down onto the beanbag in the corner of the room and picking up the play station controller. He pressed the centre button, the flat screen TV lighting up as it started. He opened up a game and then glanced over at Simon, who had come over and sat down on the couch, his head collapsing back against the cushion.

" _Bloodborne_?" He asked.

"Yup," Jace replied as he logged into his account.

"How are you even functioning right now?" Alec groaned from the doorway, where he was drinking another bottle of water.

"Not all of us drank ourselves to sleep last night," Jace smirked over at him and Alec just rolled his eyes in response to that.

"I can see that you were doing something else to tire yourself out last night," Alec shot back, nodding at his neck, where there was a reddish mark from a hickey. Jace's smile grew a little, but he didn't say anything as he started on his game. Alec and Simon exchanged looks, and they shrugged, looking back at the TV, Alec taking a seat next to Simon. After about twenty minutes or so, Magnus came out into the lounge, wearing only a pair of Adidas shorts, showing off his toned torso and muscular legs. This time, it was Jace and Simon who exchanged looks, smirking at the way Alec blatantly checked Magnus out, his lips parting and his Adams apple bobbing in his throat, before swiftly looking back at the TV.

The four of them fell into silence, Magnus and Alec sitting extremely close on the sofa, but their bodies never touching, even though their knees were only a breath apart. Simon rolling a joint and puffing away on it, passing it around, falling in and out of sleep on the couch. Jace focussing on his game, while accepting the joint when it reached him. The only one missing from their five was Jordan, but other than that, it was their normal Sunday afternoon.

 _Okay, okay, sooooo the songs this time aaaare ;_ Reforget _and_ The Other _, by Lauv. I found these about two weeks ago and I've just been listening to them non-stop ever since. I'm completely head over fucking heels for them. Then there's_ Soldier _by Samantha Jade,_ Don't Let Me Down _by Chainsmokers and_ Lover, Fighter _by SVRCINA. Those last three have all been on repeat every time I get in my car, completely in love with them._

 _Let me know what songs you guys are addicted to at the moment! Please, please, please! I love your suggestions._

 _Another thing; I find it really, really, really hard to find fics that I enjoy and keep my attention. I haven't actually read any Clace, other than stories I've been previously following, in a few months, I've become totally obsessed with the_ Teen Wolf _fandom and, of course,_ Captain America _. But I came across one called_ Picking a God _by IosoIUno and it's ah-mah-zing. Check it out. Also if you guys have any good story recommendations, let me know._

 _Aaaaand, please let me know what you guys thought of the chapter :) Your reviews make me ridiculously happy and they're what keep me writing. And for every signed in review I'll send out a preview xx_


	3. Chapter 3

_We've got the next chapter for this one! Glad you guys have enjoyed the first few chapters :)_

"I can't believe you ditched me there!" Isabelle cried as she and Clary walked into the large kitchen and dumped down the trays that they were carrying. "One minute, we were at Barbie's house together, and then the next minute, you were gone." Clary rolled her eyes as she started taking the dishes off the tray and stacking them in the dishwasher.

"You seemed to be doing just fine on your own with that guy who had the tattoo's," Clary teased. Isabelle paused, tilting her head to the side as she thought back to other night and grinned.

"Yes," she said dreamily. "He was yummy." Clary snapped her fingers in front of Isabelle's face and her friend blinked, coming back to the present.

"See? You seem to be doing just fine without me," she grinned.

"But still," Isabelle whined. "I mean, we ended up doing jello shots and you weren't there! Me and you always do jello shots together!" Clary rolled her eyes good naturedly and put a tablet into the dishwasher and turned it on. "I didn't get that guys name..." she screwed up her pretty nose and tried to think. "Ryan? Robbie?" She licked her tongue along her lower lip and then grinned. "Ricky!"

"Great, so this Ricky guy was the one with the tattoo's? Are you ever going to see him again?" Clary asked.

"Yeah, probably," Isabelle smirked. "He did this thing with his tongue? _Fuck_ , it was fucking amazing."

"Ooh," Clary wiggled her eyebrows and smirked back. "You mean, a thing with his tongue down here?" She pointed to the apex of the her friends legs. Isabelle's grin grew and she nodded. "You lucky bitch."

"What? You jealous? Jace doesn't go down on you enough?" Isabelle teased, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh no, he definitely does," Clary nodded as she tightened the apron around her waist. "Although the other night was actually the first time in like a month that we hooked up." She made an annoyed face as she heard the bell in the cafe chime, indicating that someone had arrived. "I served the last customer. This one's all yours." Isabelle grumbled under her breath but she walked back out to the front counter of the cafe. Clary wiped down the bench and then turned back to Isabelle when she came through the doors.

"Can you make me a chicken and avocado burger?" She asked.

"Sure thing," Clary replied, walking over to the freezer and pulling out the ingredients. This job definitely wasn't the best thing that she saw herself doing, but in the town they lived in, there really wasn't all that much on offer. Her and Isabelle had started working here part time when they were fifteen during the summer, and when they finished school, the owners had offered them full time jobs. It wasn't like they had any plans to go anywhere after they graduated, so they had stayed on, working and finding a place to rent together.

"What up, what up, what up?" Sung out a voice from the doorway, and Clary grinned as she turned around to look at her other best friend, Simon.

"Hey, Si," Clary grinned at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to see you," he replied as he came into the kitchen, not at all caring about the rules where customers couldn't come behind the counter. Most of the time it was just the girls there, and they never told him to get out, and even when the owners were there, they had long given up on telling Simon to get the proper side of the counter. He had been coming back there since the girls had started working there, and sometimes when it was busy, he even helped them out with the dishes. He had joked once or twice that he should get paid for the work he did around here, but he had just been told that he had his own job, and it's not as though they asked for him to come back and help.

"Yeah, I know that's bullshit," Clary rolled her eyes. "You're here to swoon over Izzy some more." Simon's cheeks flushed red and then he huffed under his breath.

"Does everyone know about that?" He groaned.

"Everyone except Izzy," Clary grinned. "You know what a really good idea is?" She leaned in close to him and lowered her voice. "You could just tell her." Simon rolled his eyes as though it was the stupidest idea that he had ever heard.

"No, no I can't," he stated. "Look, I've got this whole ten year plan all figured out for us. And I'm sticking to it."

"Right, and when did this ten year plan start?" Clary taunted him. "Because you've known Izzy since she moved here, and I feel like that's...I mean, you might definitely be nearing that ten year mark, and you're still well and truly friend zoned." Simon glared at her and then relented, letting out a sigh.

"Maybe I'm going to need to extend that to a fifteen year plan, but that's totally okay! I'm a patient man!" Simon protested and Clary rolled her eyes again. "Or at least, I can be patient."

"You are one of the least most patient people I have ever met," she stated as she went back to the burger she was getting ready for Isabelle. The chicken finished frying and she put the rest of the ingredients between the slightly browned burger buns and then found a plate, arranging it with a sprig of mint as garnish and then walked to the doorway. "Izzy!" She called out and Isabelle appeared, flashing a smile as she took it from Clary and then promptly picked it up and bit into it. "What, bitch? I thought it was for a customer?"

"Nope," Isabelle smirked through her mouthful of burger. "Simon was the customer that came through the door. I just wanted a burger." Clary snorted and looked around the empty restaurant. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and most people were at their own jobs at this time. She liked it when it was quiet, and it was just her and Isabelle, gossiping and idly cleaning and singing to the music playing through the speakers.

"And you couldn't even be bothered to make it yourself?" Clary shot at her.

"Why should I make it, when you could?" Isabelle stuck out her tongue at her best friend before taking another bite of her burger.

"The least you could do is give me some," Clary grumbled with a pout. Isabelle considered it for a moment and then held out the burger. The red head took a bite and then let out a contented sigh. "I make the best burgers in the world," she announced.

"Damn straight," Isabelle grinned. "And that's why I get you to make them."

"Yeah, there's that. And then there's the fact that you're just too lazy," Clary retorted. There was another jingle behind them, and the three all turned back to the door, the two girls getting ready to put their 'customer faces' on, when they saw that it was Alec and Jace come in. The two boys were just like Simon, walking in as though they owned the place, Alec pushing himself upwards so that he was sitting on the counter and Jace reaching into the fridge and grabbing himself out a drink.

"Sure, sure, make yourselves at home," Isabelle said sarcastically.

"Oh, we will," Jace grinned at her. "You know that your boss loves us."

"I know that my boss really _doesn't_ love you. You kind of annoy her to death, and she's just given up telling you to piss off," Clary corrected him. Jace smirked as he unscrewed the lid and swallowed back some of the juice. Clary watched as he licked his tongue along his lower lip, catching the last of the liquid, pursing them together in a smirk when he saw the way that she was watching him. Alec and Simon were talking to Isabelle, completely wrapped up in something that they were planning for next weekend, leaving Jace and Clary to start their own conversation. "Did you want anything to eat?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah," Jace nodded with a grin. "Yeah, we've still got about thirty minutes before we need to be back at work." Clary lead the way back into the kitchen, automatically getting out the ingredients from the fridge to make up Mee Goreng stir fry. Jace's lips settled into a different kind of smile, a smaller, more genuine one as she started making up his favorite dish. She quickly threw it all into a pan and started stirring it, and Jace walked up behind her, putting his hands on her hips and kissing her neck. "You're going to make someone a good house bitch one day."

"Oh my god," Clary let out a laugh. "Is that supposed to be romantic or something?" She mocked him as she continued to stir the food, but her body leaned back slightly, resting against his sturdy frame.

"Hey, it was a compliment. Just take it," Jace grinned, sliding his hands from her hips until they were wrapped around her narrow waist and he kissed her neck again. She hummed a little, enjoying the feeling of his warmth against her. "I enjoyed the other night."

"You always enjoy the other night," she sung out.

"Someone's confident," Jace laughed. Clary raised an eyebrow, moving the frying pan off the hot element and turning around in Jace's arms. He adjusted his grip, letting his hands move a little lower, so that they were touching her ass, massaging it lightly.

"We've been sleeping with each other for almost five years now," she reminded him. "I'm pretty sure we don't keep doing it because of our amazing pillow talks."

"Our pillow talks _are_ pretty amazing," he smirked. He tilted his head to the side, moving their bodies so that they were away from the oven so that he could pick her up and put her on the bench, crowding closer to her with a thoughtful look on his face. "Five years, aye? Should be, I don't know—celebrate it?" Clary let out another laugh and put her her hands on his shoulders, one of her hands running through his hair as she shook her head. "Why? It's like some sort of anniversary, right?"

"No, it's not," she snorted. "But if you insist, there's a new movie that I want to see."

"Yeah, sure thing," Jace nodded. "You know I'm always down for the movies. I'll even pay for the popcorn."

"You're such a gentleman!" Clary said with a mock-serious expression.

"I really am," Jace told her as he leaned forward and stole a chaste kiss from her mouth. "You wanna come over tonight?"

"We're discussing a booty call at my work?"

"I didn't realize there was a certain time frame or activity that we need to discuss booty calls," he rolled his eyes at her. "I'll even make you dinner." Clary paused and leaned back, scrunching her nose up adorably and shaking her head.

"No, pal, your cooking is hit and miss as it is," she said. "How about; you order dinner and then you have a deal?"

"Sounds like a plan," Jace leaned in and kissed her again, this one a whole lot less chaste. She moved forward to the edge of the bench, wrapping her legs around his waist and rolling her body forward. The kiss was a little bit filthy, promising of things to come that night, and Clary tightened her fingers in his hair.

"Seriously?!" Came an exclamation from the doorway.

"In the kitchen?!" Chimed in Isabelle.

"You two should be ashamed of yourself," Simon shook his head, but was soon distracted by the smell of the food that Clary had been cooking. He quickly ducked around the siblings who were blocking the doorway and snatched the pan off the oven and breathed in deeply. "Oh my god, this smells amazing."

"And it's mine!" Jace said protectively, backing away from Clary and grabbing the pan off him, the red head on the bench letting out a laugh at the pout Simon put on as the food was snatched off him. Alec and Isabelle just rolled their eyes, heading back out into the front house of the cafe. Jace found a fork and stabbed it into the food, swirling it around before shoving it into his mouth. "Shit, this is good."

"Gonna make a good house bitch one day, remember?" Clary winked at him.

 _Oh my god, so I re-watched_ What A Girl Wants _in the weekend, it came up on my Netflix. Forgot how much I loved the movie. And—holy shit—I realized it came out thirteen years ago! I feel so old. I can't even remember the amount of times I watched it when I was about twelve or thirteen. I also had a massive crush on Oliver James, it was ridiculous. But he was just such a babe! And he had a guitar and a motorbike, which was just so cool when you were a teenager ;) Haha. Oh and a couple of songs from there which I'm in love with is_ Half Life _by Duncan Sheik and_ Ride of Your Life _the cover by Oliver James._

 _Also, side note, I'm thinking about a werewolf AU. Can you tell I've been reading too much_ Teen Wolf _? Haha. But what's your thinking? Jace would be an Alpha and Clary would be human. What are your thoughts?_

 _Please leave a review, and let me know what you think :) I'll send you a preview for a review :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_So this was the story that was most voted for to be the story to get updated twice a calender month. I hope you guys enjoy the update!_

"This is so not fair," Isabelle groaned from where she was splayed out on Clary's double bed, laying back on the multiple pillows that were thrown about. "You're going to go out and get stoned and get drunk, and you don't even have to work until tomorrow _afternoon_."

"Oh boo hoo hoo," Clary rolled her eyes as she opened up her drawers, searching for a tee-shirt to wear. "You could just get one of your many gentlemanly callers to come over and keep you company." Isabelle let out a laugh.

"One of my many? Are you trying to insinuate that I'm a slut?" Clary found the shirt she was looking for and pulled it on, turning around and winking at her friend.

"Only in the nicest possible way," she replied. Isabelle laughed and shrugged, not at all bothered by the comment. Clary pulled her hair, which was still damp from the shower she had just taken to get rid of the daily sweat and grime, into a bun on top of her head. She was wearing a loose pair of cut off shorts and a v-neck shirt that had words scrawled on it saying ' _My perfect weight is Dylan O'Brien on top of me'_. Isabelle had got it for her for Christmas last year. "Or you could always give Simon a call," she suggested idly as she picked up her phone from where it was plugged into it's charger.

"Simon?" Isabelle jerked her chin forward. "Why Simon?"

"Because he will watch those sappy Nicholas Sparks movies with you and rub your feet and not complain about it," Clary smirked.

"These are all very good points you make," Isabelle smirked and fished her phone out of her pocket, sending off a text to their friend. Clary pursed her lips as a reply came instantly, and then Isabelle looked up. "He said he's coming over."

"Of course he is," Clary's good mood faded for a moment and she chewed down on her lower lip. "Hey, you ever think that maybe you and Simon could be something more?" Her voice was a little tentative, knowing that she needed to be careful what she said here. Despite how obvious the crush was to everyone else, Simon had made sure to swear them all to secrecy, and even though Clary thought it would be a good idea for him to just be honest, she had agreed not to tell Izzy. "I mean, it's kind of a boyfriend thing to do—watching movies, cooking dinner, the late night conversations that you guys have?"

"You mean, like you and Jace?" Isabelle scrunched up her nose. "No offence, but I don't think me and Simon can have sex and still be as good as friends as you guys. I honestly have no idea how you guys do it." Clary shrugged as she picked up her keys. "Speaking of more, when are you and Jace going to finally get together? You know that you're made for each other, right? I know neither of you are relationship kind of people, you with your dad, and him with his mum, but you're kinda made for each other." Clary didn't reply, just gave her a tight smile and then leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow, babes," she sung out before leaving the room. The boys only lived about a ten minute drive from their place, and she parked in her usual spot on their front lawn when she got there. They lived in a bigger place than her and Isabelle, which was of course necessary, given there were five of them living there. They also had a pool out the back, which the girls used on a regular basis. The next door neighbor, Hodge, had known them all since they were young, and so despite some grumblings when the noise got too loud, he didn't mind too much. He was actually pretty awesome for an old guy, he had a real soft spot for Jace, and sometimes he would come over and help them clean up the place after there was a party. She didn't bother knocking, walking straight into the house, enveloped by the smell of pizza and weed.

"My baby Red!" Magnus crowed from the couch, looking far too inebriated to actually get up and hug her by way of greeting.

"Hey, Magnus," Clary grinned and walked over to sit next to him, making herself comfortable between him and Jordan. "You guys started early."

"I'm actually not to sure if...If we actually stopped from last night?" Magnus tilted his head to the side, trying to think, but he looked as though he was about to pass out, head falling back against the back of the couch. Clary raised her eyebrow as she looked between the two, and then down at Alec, who was sitting on the floor, smoking on a freshly rolled joint.

"This is clearly some good shit," she stated. "I need to get in on this." Alec let out a huff of laughter as he look a draw from the joint and then passed it back to her. She took in a deep breath and felt it fill her lungs, holding it there until she felt the burn intensify, and then released it slowly through pursed lips. She handed it back to Alec and he balanced it between his fingers, using the other to tap the remote and scroll through Netflix.

"Clary," Simon came into the room, wearing a nice pair of jeans and a button down shirt. Definitely nicer attire than what the rest of the room was dressed in. "I was just, uh—"

"Going to fawn over Isabelle?"

"See to her every need?"

"Be her emotional fluffer?"

"Return to your eternal spot in the Friendzone?"

"The lot of you fucking suck," Simon muttered and there was laughter from everyone in the room, even if the laughter coming from both Jordan and Magnus was a bit muted because they were so stoned.

"You need to tell her how you feel, bro," Jace said, appearing in the room and clapping his hand down on Simon's shoulder. "You either tell her how you feel, or you move on. It's not healthy what you're doing to yourself." His tone was light, but despite all the joking in the room, everyone else felt the same way.

"Healthy?" Simon snorted. "You mean like what's going on here?" He waved at the room.

"Pizza and weed?" Jordan glared at him. "Dude, how dare you insult our life style?"

"I thought you knew me better than that!" Simon cried. "Come on—not weed and pizza!" Jordan looked a little relieved. "I meant Jace and Clary! You guys can't be judging me on what a healthy relationship looks like, when you guys are acting the way that ya'll do." For a moment, everything was silent, and then Clary spluttered, choking on the smoke she had just inhaled, and then managed to squeak out,

" _Ya'll_?" She tried to exhale the rest of the smoke before continuing. "Did you just say _ya'll_?" It wasn't long before everyone else was laughing with her, Simon glaring at the lot of them.

"I'm just gonna fucking go," he grumbled, turning on his heel and stalking out of the house. Clary giggled as she took another puff and then held it out to Jace. He took it from her and then kicked lightly at Jordan's leg, indicating that he move over on the couch. Jordan mumbled in annoyance under his breath but moved over, sliding onto the ground and sprawling out his legs and reaching for the bottle of bourbon that was sitting there. He unscrewed the lid and swallowed some back.

"You know, the pizza was meant to be ordered when I got here," Clary nodded over to the empty boxes. "Not already gone before I arrived." Jace opened his mouth to reply when there was a knock on the door.

"I was prepared," he smirked knowingly at her and kissed her on the cheek. He got up and walked out of the lounge, Clary looking after him in confusion. There was muted voices and then when Jace came back into the room, he was carrying a new box of pizza.

"Dude, you're amazing," Alec breathed, his eyes slightly bloodshot as he began rolling another joint.

"Nah uh uh," Jace reached out for Clary, grabbing her hand and pulling her off the couch. "This is not for you fuckers." There was a simultaneous groan from the other boys in the room as Clary smirked. "Catch yous up," he said over her shoulder as they walked down the hall to his room, their fingers linked together. Clary licked her tongue over her lips as they walked into his room and shut the door behind them. Jace had the biggest room in the house, mainly because he had been the one to find the house and put down a majority of the deposit. Not only was it the biggest room, but it also had a huge sliding door that lead out to the backyard where the pool was. Clary opened the door slightly, letting in a breeze on the hot night, and then made herself comfortable in the bean bag.

"You're perfection, you know that?" She sighed in appreciation as he opened up the pizza lid and the smell wafted over her.

"I have pizza," he grinned and reached above his drawers to grab a bottle before he sat down next to her. "And I have vodka."

"You spoil a girl," Clary winked at him as he saw her favorite flavor of 45 Below in his hand.

"Only you," he shot back at her as they grabbed slices of pizza.

Jace and Clary had been sleeping together since she was seventeen and he was eighteen. It had been a bit messy to begin with, neither of them particularly sure of what the other had wanted. Jace had been going through a hard time, because he had just lost his mother, and he and Clary were already close—they had been in the same circle of friends for years. It took a long time for him to be able function properly. One night, over half a year after the funeral, when Clary was helping him clean up his house, something his father never got around to, given he was to busy running around with mistresses to notice his son still in mourning, and Jace had kissed her. It had just escalated from there, and a couple of months down the track, it was as though they found a rhythm. Despite what they told themselves, it was complicated, but it was as though they were just going to ignore any feelings they felt more than friendship until the time was absolutely necessary.

They ate in quiet, the only noise coming from the TV out in the lounge which was turned all the way up. The weed had settled in Clary's bones, and while she wasn't stoned, she was definitely relaxed and sated, especially after finishing almost half of the pizza and taking two or three swigs of the passionfruit vodka. When Jace rolled another joint, it pushed her over that edge, into that happy haze that made time seem to go slow, even though it was now almost midnight.

Clary had been telling the truth when she was talking to Isabelle, when she said that she hadn't been with Jace in a month. They hadn't had sex for just over four weeks, but as soon as they fell back together again, it was like no time had passed. Even when they weren't sleeping together, they still saw each other on a regular basis, so it wasn't as though they were ever out of touch, and they had known each other long enough to be completely comfortable with one another.

"Hey!" She let out a squeak, reaching up and touching his ear. They were both sprawled out on his king sized bed, Jace laying on his back and staring at the ceiling, a cigarette between his lips, which Clary was laying on her stomach, her eyes glassy and her hair a little messy from their make out session a few minutes ago. "That's new," she touched the second loop in his left ear.

"Yeah, I got it yesterday," he told her, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and putting it into the ash tray on the bedside table, turning his head into her hand. She curved her palm around his face and leaned forward, pressing their lips together. Their movements were a little sloppy and out of sync, due to the alcohol and the marijuana, but it all felt just as good. Jace shifted her body so that she was stretched over him, sort of mid crouch with her knees braced beside his hips, rolling herself over his half hard cock. Jace grabbed her ass, letting her control the kiss, but slipping his fingers under the denim and lace of her shorts and underwear and touching the smooth skin of her ass.

"I like it," she mumbled through the kiss, sucking on his tongue before letting out a contented sigh and dropping her head so that it was resting in the curve of his neck. If it was any other girl, Jace would be frustrated at her lack of attention to his lower half, but it wasn't any other girl.

It was Clary.

"You sleepy?" Jace asked, nuzzling her ear. She gave a lazy shrug and he let out a laugh. "You want some more weed?"

"I will definitely go to sleep if I have another joint," she replied as she pulled herself up into a seated position.

"You know I'm cool with that," he told her, running his hands up and down her bare thighs, scratching lightly with his blunt nails. The sensation made her shiver and she felt a lick of arousal in her pussy. And just like he always could, he sensed the change in her mood, and one of his hands moved to the front of her shorts, undoing the button and the zipper, and managing to get two fingers inside. Even at the awkward angle, Jace was talented with his fingers, and he rubbed her clit in a way that made her rock herself over his cock, which was now fully erect.

"Fuck," Clary sighed, her fingers tightening in the material of his white wife beater. Her movements got jerkier as she got closer to her orgasm, before she stiffened and let out a whimper, moaning Jace's name as she came. For a moment, she didn't move, Jace withdrawing his fingers from her and touching them to her lower lip. Then she licked them clean, laying back down over him, dipping her tongue into his mouth. He started thrusting his hips up against her, a little harder and insistent this time. Clary rolled off him, and he made a noise at the lack of contact, but then her hand went underneath his sweatpants and gripped his cock.

"Shit," Jace's body jerked at the contact of her small and skillful hand. He was already dripping with pre-cum and with the way they had been lazily touching each other for the past few hours, sort of in a low state of arousal. It only took a few more pumps and a swipe of her thumb over the swollen head of his cock before he was coming over her hand and his lower stomach.

 _So? You guys like it? Let me know, a couple of words make all the difference to someone who's been slaving over a keyboard *puppy dog eyes*._

 _I'll send out a preview to anyone logged in who leaves a review!_

 _OMG—I went and saw Ellie Goulding in concert last weekend. It's the second time I've seen her live, and she was still just as amazing! My recommended song this week is_ Silhouette _by Aquilo. It's absolutely gorgeous. And then this weekend I'm going to see_ Deepwater Horizon _! It's had great reviews, so I'm pretty excited, plus I get to see Dylan O'Brien on the big screen, which is always a massive plus. I'll undoubtedly be doing a happy dance on my way to the cinema. Haha._

 _Also, in my profile I've put up a list of the new stories that I'm working on and a brief description about them. Check it out and let me know what you guys think :) Always happy to discuss them :) xx_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you so much for your feedback! You guys seem to really like this story, which is great, because I loved writing it! On with the update..._

"Oh god," Jace groaned, burying his head under the pillows. "Make it stop!" The old pop song just kept playing, and he was about ready to find whatever it was making that noise and throw it really hard at the wall when suddenly it was went silent. He let out a sigh of relief, his body relaxing as he heard the muffled sound of Clary's voice and letting his head come back out from underneath the pillow.

"Uh, mum? Can you call me back?" She asked. "Uh, yeah. Half an hour. Sounds good." Jace heard the sound of the phone being dropped to the ground, and then Clary's warm body was curling back around his, her head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her waist and dropped a kiss to her head.

"You hungry?" Jace mumbled.

"Mm," she hummed back. "But I don't want to get out of bed."

"I asked if you were hungry, not if you wanted to get up," Jace replied and she let out a huff of laughter. She rolled over, so that Jace was spooned around her body. His cock was hard against her ass, and Clary lazily rolled her hips backwards. Jace's fingers tightened on her hips and his hand slid forward over her stomach, between her legs. It didn't take much before she was wet, and they were grinding against each other, pants and sighs filling the room. "Condom," he muttered in her ear, biting down softly on her neck.

"Already on it," Clary handed him back a condom that she had grabbed from the bedside table. Jace pushed the duvet covers off, running a hand down the length of Clary's body, feeling goosebumps break out across her silky skin. He kissed her shoulder before rolling away from her to put the condom on. When he rolled back, he used one of his arms to lift her leg. Clary pushed her ass backwards, tilting herself down to allow him a better angle. Jace pushed inside her, and they both let out long groans.

"God, Clary," Jace buried his face in her long hair, his hand tight around her hip as he brought her hips backwards, thrusting hard into her. "You always feel so fucking perfect, babe." She made a noise of pleasure at the back of her throat, her fingers clenching the sheet as she tried to keep herself from crying out. The position they were in let him slide in deep, and hit a sweet spot inside her that didn't get touched too often. She was coming around his cock within a few minutes, and he wasn't far behind her, biting down hard on her shoulder. He rolled away from her and tied off the condom, tossing it toward the bin in the corner of the room before wrapping his arms around her, both of them warm and sleepy. They fell in and out of sleep for a while longer before Clary's phone started ringing again and they both moaned.

"Shit," Clary sighed.

"Well, Jocelyn always was persistent," Jace said as he stretched his arms above his head, biceps flexing. "You better answer that, I'll go and get breakfast ready, okay?"

"Okay," Clary sighed, rolling away from him and picking up her phone, answering it again. She watched as Jace got out of bed, her eyes glued to his bare ass as he looked for something to wear. "Mum! Hey." Jace pulled on a pair of sweatpants and headed out of the bedroom, shooting one last smirk over his shoulder at her.

"Baby! Are you properly awake now?" Jocelyn Fray greeted her.

"Kind of," Clary rubbed her fists in her eyes.

"Well, I was just ringing to catch up."

"Seriously?! You couldn't have rung to catch at a more godly hour?" Clary exclaimed.

"Baby, it's after ten in the morning on a weekday. This is a normal time for people to be awake," Jocelyn replied. "I feel like I haven't seen you in so long—I want you to come over for dinner soon."

"I will, mum. I'll call you okay?" Clary sat up in the bed, swinging her legs over the side and yawning. Jocelyn sounded as though she wanted to say a whole lot more, but Clary was never very good at phone conversations, so it ended quickly, and then Clary was going through Jace's drawers, finding a shirt to throw on over her bra before walking out of the room. Simon was sitting at the kitchen table, eating from a bowl of cornflakes, and he gave her a smile as she came into the room. Magnus was sitting in the lounge with Jordan, the pair of them on the couch, watching TV. Jace was standing at the stove, cracking eggs into a frying pan. "Morning," Clary greeted them.

"Morning," came a response in unison from everyone except Magnus, who just grunted under his breath. Clary raised her eyebrow at Jace, who jerked his head back to the hallway, where the bedrooms were.

"Alec's with someone," he mouthed.

"Oh," Clary made an understanding face.

It was always one thing or the other with those two.

The whole group of them had unconventional relationships, except maybe Jordan. There was Simon, who was head over heels in love with Isabelle. There was Isabelle who was either oblivious or ignoring Simon's feelings, because she loved to play around and enjoyed her freedom. Alec and Magnus, who were both into each other but just wouldn't admit it out loud. And then of course there was Jace and Clary, who had started sleeping together when they were in high school, but were delusional enough to think that everything was going to be okay if they continued down the path they were on.

"You promoting tonight?" She asked as she braced both hands behind her on the bench, pulling herself up so that she was sitting on the bench and swinging her legs, watching him work.

"Yup, start at ten," Jace told her as he flipped the bacon he was sharing in the frying pan with the eggs. "You should come by." One or two nights a week, Jace and Jordan worked at promoting a local club in town. They loved it—and it was kind of perfect for them. All they needed to do was dress up, look hot, and go around getting people to come into their club and buy drinks.

"Some of us have work at normal jobs during the day, and can't go out to clubs during the week," Clary rolled her eyes at him. Jace grinned and shrugged, pulling two plates out of the cupboards and piling them up with food. "Thanks," she gave him a smile as she looked down at the food, her stomach growling. She hopped down from the bench and walked over to the table where Simon was, Jace following her. "When are those two gonna get over themselves and fuck already?" Clary asked as she put the first bit of bacon into her mouth, jerking her head backwards towards Magnus.

"I can hear you," Magnus growled.

"Oh, good," Clary smirked sarcastically. "Then maybe you'll get your head out of _your_ ass and finally put your head _in_ Alec's ass." Magnus made another grunt under his breath but didn't reply, and Clary just rolled her eyes. "One day, we're locking the two of them in a cupboard, and not letting them out until they give in," she vowed.

* * *

"Thank god you're here," Isabelle groaned as Clary walked behind the counter, shrugging out of her jacket.

"What's wrong?" Clary asked with a frown.

"Those two have been here for the past hour," Isabelle nodded over to the side of the cafe. Clary followed her gaze and saw Kaelie and Seelie sitting at a table, both with tall glasses of iced moccachino's in front of them. Clary scrunched up her nose at them and looked back at Isabelle, who had a similar look of disgust on her face.

"They don't have anything better to do with their time?" She muttered as she walked through the kitchen area to the staff area and dumped her jacket and bag down.

"Pretty sure they're waiting for you," Isabelle stated.

"Me?" Clary sighed. "Fucking hell, that can't be good." Sure enough, a couple of minutes later, the bell at the front counter rang, indicating someone wanted to be served. Isabelle rolled her eyes toward the counter and Clary followed her out.

"Clary! So good to see you!" Kaelie cooed, tilting her head to the side, her fluffy blonde hair bouncing, big blue eyes looking completely innocent as she scanned the red head up and down. Clary and Isabelle had known her since high school, and they knew that there was nothing innocent about her. "We were just about to head out but I had a question for you first." Clary didn't reply, just continued to stare at the girl. "I wanted to talk to you about Jace." She felt her stomach tighten a little at that but kept her stare level. "I was wondering if you guys are officially are thing yet, or if he's still a free agent."

"Me and Jace have never been a thing," Clary told her. "You know that."

"Oh great, so he's still single and ready to mingle?" That time Clary couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes and Isabelle snorted beside her.

"He's a free agent, Kaelie," Clary said. "If you want to talk to him about who he wants to mingle with, then that's totally up to you."

"Perfect," Kaelie smirked at them and pulled a pair of three hundred dollar sunglasses out of her bag, balancing them on her perfect nose that daddy had paid for when she was sixteen. "I'll see you girls around." Seelie gave them a smile over her shoulder as well, just as genuine's as her friend, and the two of them flounced out of the cafe.

"I hate those two," Isabelle stated, bracing her elbows on the counter and leaning forward, putting her chin in her hand. "I fucking hate them."

"You know Alec had sex with Seelie, right?"

"Ick," Isabelle screwed up his nose. "That's probably why he's gay."

"I don't think Kaelie got the memo, she still goes after him," Clary snorted.

"Kaelie goes after everyone," Isabelle replied. "You heard her asking about Jace—she's been after him since we were in school. Pretty sure she's already slept with half the population of this town."

"Now ain't that the truth."

"So how did last night go?" The dark haired girl turned to her friend. "You have fun?"

"I always have fun," Clary smirked. "Although Magnus wasn't having too much fun this morning. Your brother had someone over, and Magnus looked like a kicked puppy in the lounge." Isabelle winced and sighed. "Why do they keep doing this?"

"Those two would be perfect for each other. If they just stopped fighting with each other long enough to get that the only reason they're fighting is because they get ridiculously, insanely jealous of one another, then they would know that they're fucking perfect for each other!" Isabelle cried.

"Yeah, well, clearly that's not going to happen anytime soon," Clary sighed. She looked back out the door, where the two girls had disappeared. "You think Jace would go for her?" She asked, talking before even thinking and then pursing her lips together quickly when she realized what she had said. Isabelle raised an eyebrow at her and Clary shook her head, dropping her eyes to the counter. "I didn't mean it that way," she grunted. "He can go after whoever he wants."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Isabelle said knowingly. Clary narrowed her eyes at her friend, who just shrugged and looked up when two new customers came through the door, giving them a wide smile and greeting them.

 _I wanted to say a big thank you to all you beautiful reviewers. Seriously. I love writing, and the support I get from you guys encourages that love. You're the reason I write so much and so often, and am willing to try new ideas and things like that, so a massive thank you to all you guys :)_

 _Also, I wanted to say that I've loved the support your guys have had toward my new stories. If you haven't already had a look at the short synopsis, they are up on my profile. Your feedback in reviews and in the private messages have been awesome, it's great to talk about them with you guys! If you guys have any requests or anything specific you guys want to see, let me know, and I'll see if it's something that I can work in._

 _Now! Guess what? I've been married two years. What. The Fuck? I feel way to young for that. LOL. But yeah, it's our anniversary next week. So that's pretty awesome :)_

 _Other awesome things are; the TV show_ Designated Survivor _. I've been in love with Keifer Sutherland since_ 24 _, and Maggie Q is in it, and she's fucking badass, although maybe not quite as badass as in_ Nikita _. The song_ I Hate You, I Love You _by Gnash featuring Olivia O'Brien. OMG. I'm addicted. And I've been blasting the cover of_ Lean On _by Openside every time I'm in my car. I heard it live and had to download it as soon as I got home. It is FUCKING AMAZING, as you would know if we're friends on snapchat because I've sent out several of me singing along. Hahahaha._

 _As usual, leave a review, let me know what you think, recommend songs or TV shows or other fics for me to check out. A couple of nice words will go a long way with the shitty week I've had :( I'll send out a preview of the next chapter for anyone logged in :) xx_


	6. Chapter 6

_Next update, beautiful people :)_

It was a hot a Saturday afternoon, and Clary and Izzy were in the red-heads bedroom. Music was blasting out from the iPod deck, Ruelle singing out about monsters, and the windows wide open to try and air out the room from the thick, paint smell. Izzy was laying back on Clary's bed, splitting her time between scrolling through her Facebook news feed and messaging a couple of friends, and whining to Clary about how she didn't have a date that night. Clary was singing under her breath and working on an abstract landscape piece that she had started a couple of weeks ago.

"You think that we should go out tonight?" Isabelle asked. "I think we should go out tonight."

"You can," Clary mumbled as she dapped her paintbrush into a light blue colour. "I'm staying in."

"Nana," Izzy mocked her.

"Dude, I'm tired. We go out every night in the weekend and at least once through the week. I want to go order in Chinese and catch up on _How To Get Away With Murder_ and paint my toenails," Clary stated, not sounding at all bothered by Izzy's teasing. "But if you want to go out and shit, then go." Izzy let out a huff, dropping her head onto the pillows and groaning.

"But you're my wing woman!"

"Dude, you're hot as shit. You can be your own wing woman," Clary smirked at her over her shoulder.

"But that's not the point," Isabelle's voice was muffled against the blanket. "What if the guy has a friend? Then you're supposed to dance with the friend, distract him, work your pretty magic, so that I can get it on with my guy!"

"Or you could just go home with both of them," Clary suggested with a wiggle of her eyebrows. "Wouldn't be the first time you've done it." Isabelle laughed and rolled over on the bed so that she could look up at Clary. They fell quiet again, the music shifting to Hayley Kiyoko and making Clary sing out and swing her hips, completely comfortable in her skin. Isabelle licked her lips and then sat up on the bed, tossing away her phone and looking at her friend.

"Hey, uh," Izzy began. "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about actually," she said, not sounding at all sure of herself, which was unusual for her. Clary frowned, and turned around to face her friend, putting down her paint brush. "It's something that I've been looking into for a while now, and I wanted to know what you thought about it." She fell quiet again and Clary's frown deepened.

"Well, come on," Clary was feeling a little worried. "Spit it out. You've got me freaking out now—you never think about anything for a while. Shit, you went and got your tattoo on the same day that you saw the design!" Izzy gve her a tight smile and then held up a finger, indicating that she wait, as she rolled off the bed and flounced out of the room. When Isabelle came back, she had a bunch of magazines and pamphlets in her hands and Clary's eyebrows raised as she dumped them on the bed. "Wait—what? What are these?!" She picked up the first one and turned it over. "University of California...San Diego State University...San Francisco State University—what's this?"

"I've been thinking that you and me should enroll," Izzy blurted out.

"In all of these?!" Clary snorted. "I don't think so."

"Not all of them, dumb ass," Izzy rolled her eyes. "Just one of them. We both graduated from high school, so we would both be able to pass the entrance exams and get in. We can get out student loans, get part time jobs—I mean, we're both poor pretty much all the time anyway, it's not like this is going to really change anything." Clary looked down a the University of California, Los Angeles brochure, where a couple of pages were folded over at the corner. She opened it up and saw that it was marked at the Arts section.

"For me?" Clary questioned quietly, even though it was a stupid statement. It wasn't as though Izzy was interested—or any good—at Art. "What about you, though? What would you do?"

"I was thinking about a hair dressing course? I mean, I'm already really good with make up and stuff, if I did hair dressing as well, I could do the whole beauty package deal?" Isabelle didn't look so certain about it, but Clary knew that whatever Izzy chose to do, she would make it work, and she would be damn good at it. And she was right, she was good at doing make up. When ball season came around, there were always teenagers looking for someone to do their faces, and she made some extra money that way. There had even been a couple of friends of friends who had asked her to do their make up for their weddings, for brides and the bridesmaids.

"I think that..." Clary tilted her head to the side and reached out to touch Izzy's face. "I think that it sounds like a pretty awesome idea." Izzy perked up and smiled tentatively.

"You think?" She asked.

"Yes," Clary nodded. "I mean, it's not like I want to just go in there and do it right now. I want to think about it, and talk to mum, and I'm not going to apply for anything that I'm not sure about, because fucked if I'm going to get out a massive student loan and be paying it off for the rest of my life if it's not something I really want."

"Totally, totally, I get that," Isabelle was nodding her head spastically and Clary laughed. "Although, it's not as if you're going to be paying it off for the rest of your life when you become a world renowned artist." Clary scoffed and Izzy jabbed her playfully in the side, the two girls giggling.

* * *

Jace let out a low moan as a headache stabbed at his temple, burying his head further into his pillow and squeezing his eyes shut. He had been promoting at the club last night, which had then lead to doing what felt like a hundred shots with a hen party. He didn't really remember too much after that, but as he slowly opened his eyes and looked over to the side, he saw one of those hideous pink sashes that all the girls had been wearing, announcing Bridal Party. He made a face and then turned his head in the opposite direction, letting out a sigh when he saw a blonde in bed next to him.

The bride had been distinctly dark haired.

That was a relief.

He saw her twitch and slowly open her eyes and he gave her an awkward smile.

"Morning," he greeted her softly. The blonde mumbled something under her breath before rolling over and curling herself into a ball. Jace sighed, biting back his sigh of annoyance as he got out of bed, finding a pair of briefs and sweatpants, pulling them on and then heading out of the room.

This was the part he hated.

The morning after.

He had enough of them that he should be better at this by now, but he really hadn't. It was probably because between all the one night stands and morning afters, he had Clary, and the morning afters were never terrible with her. They were relaxed, and comfortable with each other, and would sometimes lay in his bed and talk for hours after they woke up. So every new person that he went home with, he seemed to just forget how much he hated them, just remembering back to Clary.

"What up, man?" Jordan grunted as Jace came out to the kitchen. "You guys were pretty loud last night."

"I would say I'm sorry..." Jace tilted his head to the side and then smirked. "But I'm not." Jordan rolled his eyes.

"Asshole," he snorted.

"Dickhead," Jace scoffed back. The pair of them grinned at each other, completely at ease with one another as they moved around the kitchen. Jordan had a hickey on his neck, clearly from his own fun the night before, and Jace was about to comment on it when Simon cleared his throat from where he was sitting at the breakfast bar. The two of them looked toward the doorway, and saw Jace's one night stand hovering there, a hesitant smile on her face. "Hey," Jace greeted her again, and she looked a little more lively than a few minutes ago when she had been in bed.

"Hi," she glanced around at the all the other men there, giving them all a tiny, off-handed wave, before fixing her eyes back on Jace.

"Did you want breakfast?" He offered her. "Uh, I need to eat before you drive you anywhere, sorry, because I'm pretty hungover. Or I can ring you a taxi, if you want." He really hoped that she opted for him ringing a taxi.

"Um, I'll have whatever you're having," she said, stepping further into the kitchen. Jace gave her a smile, but then shot Simon and Jordan a pained look as he turned away from her to pull out the frying pan. The other two gave him knowing grins before clearing out of the kitchen and heading down to their rooms. "So...You guys all live here?" The girl asked as she walked around to the other of the bench, getting up on one of the bar stools after flicking aside a sweaty tee-shirt, letting it fall to the ground.

"Yeah," Jace nodded. "We've all been friends since high school. Alec is like my brother."

"Uh," she was clearly scrambling for something to say, not wanting the awkward silence to fall. "Was one of those guys in here before Alec?"

"Nah," Jace replied as he cracked eggs into the frying pan and then reached into the bread bucket and grabbed out a loaf, splitting off a couple of slices and putting them into the toaster. "He'll still be in bed. That was Simon and Jordan." It's not as if she really needed to know their names, she was never going to be back here again.

And he couldn't even be bothered to learn her name.

But hey, he could do the whole small talk thing.

"So are you close friends with the bride?" Jace asked, thinking back to what he could actually remember of last night, where she was dancing and singing and drinking with the whole group. Everything after there felt really blurry, although he had some scratches on his chest and shoulder that showed he had at least a reasonably good time.

"Oh, Nancy? Yeah, we've been friends for years. It's actually kind of a funny story, the guy? The one she's marrying?" The blonde went off on whatever story she was telling, and Jace let himself zone out.

 _My song recommendations for this time!_ Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic _the cover by Sleeping At Last,_ I Can't Even _by The Neighbourhood and_ In My Blood _by The Veronicas, which was recommended to me by Caaatttt. Ooh, also a couple of TV shows that I've started watching are Lucifer and Blindspot, which are both pretty good. And I finally got around to watching Straight Outta Compton! So glad I finally watched it. Hahaha._

 _Also, I've updated my profile again, since you guys seemed to like when I modified it last time. So check it out :)_

 _Leave a review, let me know what you think of the chapter, recommend any new songs to me, and let me know if you'd like a preview of the next chapter :)_

 _As a complete side note...No matter who you voted for, there were going to be a lot of unhappy people, and I can see that there have already been protests through the night. Love is going out to everyone, as this is something that will affect us all xx_


	7. Chapter 7

_This is the second to last update before I go on a short break over Christmas/New Years! Hope you enjoy it :)_

"Can you grab me another beer?" Alec asked as Jordan swum over to the other side of the pool, where they had a chiller filled with ice and beer. Jordan grabbed another two out of the cooler, snapped off the lids and tossed them in the general direction of the rubbish bin and then swum back over to where Magnus and Alec were, keeping his arms out of the water so that bottles were safe. Magnus was sitting on one of the blow up, floating chairs, looking completely relaxed, while Alec had his elbows braced against the side of the pool. Jordan handed Alec the second beer while swallowing a mouthful of his own beer.

"What's the time, Mags?" Jordan asked. Magnus cracked open an eye and looked at his waterproof watch before dropping his head back down.

"It's just after six," he mumbled, looking annoyed at the interruption. He had barely said a word in about an hour, and Alec was pretty sure that he was drifting in and out of sleep.

"Sweet," Jordan nodded.

"Why? You got somewhere that you gotta be tonight?" Alec asked.

"I've got another date with Maia," Jordan grinned as he tipped his bottle toward Alec.

"Shit, on a Wednesday? Middle of the week rather than the weekend? Must be getting serious," Alec noted.

"I got us reservations at that fancy Thai place in town—"

"Aw, that's not okay!" Magnus was suddenly a whole lot more attentive. "I've wanted to go their for ages! They're always so busy when I call to make a reservation!"

"Well, maybe instead of a hundred one night stands, you could actually date someone who will ring a week in advance to get a booking," Jordan shot at him with a smirk. Magnus pouted and then rolled his eyes over to Alec, who was drumming his fingers along the side of his beer bottle.

"Take me to the Thai place," Magnus stated.

"Fine," Alec lifted his eyebrows, letting out a huff through his nose as though he was doing Magnus a huge favor. "Make a booking for next week and we'll go." Magnus grinned, satisfied, and lay back down on the lilo. Jordan looked between the two of them, an eyebrow raised as he looked at them each in turn, wanting to say something, but as usual, keeping his mouth shut. He, Jace and Simon had an agreement that apart from a couple of jibes when they were drunk, they were going to stay out of things when it came to these two.

It could possibly backfire, and Alec's wrath and Magnus' tendency for revenge wasn't something they wanted to risk inflicting upon themselves.

"So you and Maia, aye? Getting serious there?" Alec asked as he took another sip of his beer. Jordan kicked off the ground of the pool and swum over to the side, resting his forearms on the concrete side.

"I think so," Jordan nodded, a grin on his face. "She's amazing." He pursed his lips as he thought. "Actually, I should probably go and get ready—girls don't tend to smile all pretty like and act nice if you're late."

"That is true," Magnus observed idly.

"Yeah, because of all your experience with the fairer sex," Jordan rolled his eyes.

"Hey," Magnus opened his eyes and turned his head to him. "You know well enough that I'm into the V as well as the P. It's just the P is so much more fun, and there's so much less drama attached." Jordan's eyebrows arched again, and there were so many things that he wanted to say right now as he looked between Magnus and Alec, but he managed to keep his mouth shut.

"Right, well, on that note," Jordan locked his arms on the concrete around the pool and dragged himself out. "I'm heading inside to get ready." He padded inside, leaving wet footprints behind him as he padded inside, and left Magnus and Alec behind. Alec pursed his lips as he looked over at Magnus, who had his eyes closed again and was laying back.

Things between him and Magnus were complicated.

Alec liked Magnus.

He really liked Magnus.

And Magnus liked Alec.

In the same way that Alec liked him.

But even though that tension was there, and the pair of them both knew how the other felt, they didn't do anything about it. There were a few reasons behind it—while Alec had known that he was gay for a long time, and he had told Isabelle and Jace, it had taken him _years_ before he told his parents and then come out to everyone else. His parents hadn't been very supportive, especially his father, and that had just added to Alec's insecurity, which had shrouded him since he was younger. Magnus on the other hand had always been open with his sexuality, kissing boys and girls, left and right, for as long as anyone could remember. They had been friends through high school, mainly because of their mutual friends, and Magnus had always intimidated Alec a little bit. Magnus had flirted with Alec a little to begin with, but as they became better friends and especially after they moved in together, he had given him space, waiting for Alec to come to him when he was ready.

Which hadn't happened yet.

"So we got Jordan and Maia," Magnus began, snapping Alec out of his thoughts. "And then next we've got Simon and Izzy, and then Clary and Jace, once they all get their heads out of their asses. We're going to be the only single ones left soon." Alec pressed his lips together in a line as he glanced over at Magnus, wondering if he was hinting at something, but the Indonesian still had his eyes closed, not putting any pressure directly on him.

"I don't think so," he snorted. "The only ones getting together are going to be Jordan and Maia, if he manages not to screw that up."

"And the others?"

"Jace and Clary aren't going to get together any time soon. They _should_ get together; he's an idiot if he doesn't she that she's the best thing that could ever happen to him," Alec replied, meaning every word he said. "And with my sister...Shit, she's not ready to settle down yet. It's going to take her a while before she's done with her fun, and realizes that Simon is always going to be waiting for her."

"Or Simon moving on," Magnus pointed out.

"Yeah," Alec cringed at that thought, knowing that as soon as that happened, Isabelle would go on the defensive. "Or that." They were quiet for a few moments.

"What about us?" Magnus suddenly asked, and Alec's whole body flushed hot and cold as his head snapped to the side, looking at Magnus, who now had his eyes open and was looking over at him, his cat-like eyes intense. Alec almost choked on his own breath, his fingers clenching so tight around his bottle of beer that his knuckles were white and he was worried that he might break the glass.

"Us?" He managed to rasp out.

"Us—me and you," Magnus said, his meaning clear as he tipped his body to the side so that he was looking directly at Alec. Alec's gorgeous blue eyes were wide, his pupils blown, and his mouth was gaping, not too sure how to reply, when suddenly there were three more people running toward the pool, shouting and whooping, and then bombing into the water, sending water splashing all over the sides and the two other boys who were already in the pool. "Fuck!" Magnus complained, completely saturated, and he wiped his hand over his face.

"What up, Mags?" Sebastian Verlac laughed as he broke the surface of the water, tossing back his blonde hair.

"You're an asshole," Magnus growled as he gave up with relaxing on the lilo when Simon paddled over and started shaking the sides. "The lot of you—you're all assholes." Alec couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief that the attention had shifted off him, although the the intensity in Magnus' eyes, and his words, were still replaying in his head.

"What have you fuckers been up to since I've been gone?" Sebastian asked, looking between Magnus and Alec, clearly already caught up with Simon and Jace.

"Same old, same old, man," Alec replied. "What about you? How's the new town—got a job?" Sebastian made a face. He had gone to school with all of them, but in his final year, his parents had got a divorce, and he had left with his mother to move a few hours away. He had thought about coming back a couple of times, but apparently he got better pussy where he was now without Jace cramping his style.

"Yeah, got a job. Working at this liquor store. The woman who owns it, she's a total fucking milf," Sebastian smirked. And then started a long and very descriptive tale about the sexual exploits that Sebastian got up to with his boss in the back room. Half of it probably wasn't true, but then again, Sebastian had managed to get into the pants of their hot art teacher, and get photographic evidence of it. So clearly older woman had a thing for him.

"So how long are you back for?" Magnus asked from where he was now sitting on the edge of the pool with his legs in the water. His nose was turned up, but that wasn't unusual when Sebastian was around. They definitely had a love-hate relationship between them, tending to rub each other the wrong way, but given how long they had known each other, they would always be a part of each others lives.

"Just for a week or so," Sebastian said. "And we're going to have a party, right?" He grinned and splashed some water over at Jace, who was treading water to keep himself afloat.

"Sure thing," Jace nodded with a grin, running his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. "We're always down for a party—haven't actually had one here in a while. I'll get the girls to organize it."

"Izzy and Clary?" Sebastian clarified.

"Yup," Jace nodded as he tipped himself backwards, floating on his back in the pool.

"Ooh, yeah," there was a glint in Sebastian's eye that all the boys in the pool were very used to seeing. It was the look he got whenever he was going after a girl, and he definitely got it whenever he was thinking about Isabelle and Clary, both of who he had been going after since they were in high school. "Can't wait to see those two again."

 _As I was going through and editing these chapters, I was watching_ Princess Bride _with my hubby. Omg. Absolutely love that movie. Don't think I'll ever get sick of it. It's just so fucking amazing! Will always be in my top five movies :) I pretty much quote every line as the movie plays. Whoops. Hahahaha. My song rec's for this time are_ On Your Side _by The Veronicas and_ Time After Time _the cover by Jessica Mauboy._

 _Leave a review, let me know what you guys think :)_

 _I'll send out a preview for everyone who's logged in xx_


	8. Chapter 8

_This is my last update of the year! I just wanted to say a massive thank you to all of your support you guys have shown me and reviews that you have left. I'll be back around February next year, but until then, I'm still able to be reached through here if you send me a PM, or if you wanted to add me on Facebook or Snapchat :) Also, make sure you check out the authors note at the bottom in regards to my upcoming stories._

 _And also, the painting Clary is doing in this chapter, can be found if you search Butterfly Fever by Karen Venable and it's the first one that comes up in Google images._

It was a late Friday afternoon when Jace knocked twice on the front door of the girls house. He didn't bother waiting for a response, especially when he heard loud music inside, letting himself in and kicking his shoes off. He walked into the kitchen first, grabbing a bottle of beer out of the fridge, and he couldn't help but grin as he snapped off the lid. Izzy didn't drink beer, she was all about fancy liquor and mixes, but Clary did. She loved Corona, could throw them back just as fast as any of the guys.

He loved that about her.

Then Jace made his way down the hallway, following the sound of the music, down to Clary's bedroom. The doors in her room were wide open but even as he was coming down the hallway he could smell the paint in the air and he grinned as he took a swig of beer. It had been a while since he had seen Clary paint.

"Hey, Red," Jace said loudly from the doorway, hoping that she could hear him over the sound of her music. It took him knocking a few times on her door before she looked up, and she grinned at him, putting down her paintbrush and walking over to give him a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. She picked up the remote for her speakers and turned Melanie Martinez down as he came over to sit on the corner of her bed, next to where she was standing.

"I see you've helped yourself," she smirked over at him, nodding at the beer.

"You know that I'm very, _very_ good at helping myself," Jace smirked right back over at her, reaching over to give her a slap on the ass. Clary poked out her tongue in response and snatched the beer from his hand, having a drink before giving it back. The arm that wasn't holding the beer he put behind him so that he could lean backwards, and he looked at the canvas she has been working on. He shook his head, pulling his lower lip into his mouth as he took it in. "Fuck, girl," he breathed. "I don't even get art and all its shit, but you're fucking amazing."

"So eloquently put," Clary rolled her eyes at him and let out a laugh. The canvas was big, and splashed with bright colours, some of them streaked across the canvas and others dripping down. And then on top of the swipes of colour, there were a couple of articulately painted butterflies.

"No, seriously," Jace's face said he was far from joking. "You're incredible." Clary just rolled her eyes again, picking up a rag that was hooked around a handle of her dresser and wiping down her hands, getting any wet paint off.

"Anyway," she said, tilting her head to the side as she looked at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I can't just be here to visit my best friend?" Jace pouted at her.

"Oh, get off it," Clary snorted as she flopped down on the bed next to him, wiggling herself upward so that she could lay on his pillows. "Alec is your best friend."

"Well, you're definitely my best _looking_ friend," Jace sung out to her and Clary laughed. Jace drank some more of his beer before putting it down on the ground and then moved up the bed, flopping down next to her, reaching out and easily linking their fingers together.

"Oh, I know that for a fact," Clary grinned and squeezed his hand. "But really, what are you doing here?"

"Seb's back in town until the end of the week," he began.

"Ick. Seb," she screwed up her nose and made a face, but she had a small smile on his face.

"I swear that's everyone's reaction when it comes to him," Jace snorted, thinking of Magnus the other day.

"Oh come on, you so know why," Clary laughed. "I mean, sure, we grew up with him, but he was always such a dick." Jace laughed with her.

"Yeah, I know," he nodded. "Anyway, he's back until the end of the week, and so we're throwing a party tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night, aye?" She arched an eyebrow. "Bit late notice there."

"Yeah, well," Jace rolled over in the bed and propped himself up one arm so that he could look down at her, resting one hand on her stomach. "I was kind of hoping that you and Izzy could work your magic, put out of the word that we're having a get together..." he gave her a hopeful look and Clary let out a laugh.

"Oh great, so you came over here because you wanted to ask me for favor?!"

"Is it really a favor though if you're going to have a great time though?" Jace reasoned with a cheeky smirk.

"How do you know I'm even going to come?" Clary shot back at him. Jace tipped his head to the side, something in his golden eyes shifting as his hand began to go lower, moving down her stomach and sliding under the waist band of her shorts and underwear. His index finger reached for her slit, just moving up and down the outside enough to make her start to twitch her hips and hitch her breathing.

"Because you always come," Jace told her with a husky edge to his tone. Despite the fact that almost all of Clary's focus was on his hand down her shorts, she couldn't help but roll her eyes at Jace's sexual double meaning and he grinned at her. After the moment past, Jace continued his explorations in her lacy underwear. He dropped his head and kissed her mouth softly, and her cheek, and then her neck, his teeth pulling lightly at the shell of her ear before the tip of his finger slid inside her. She was wet and ready for him, just like she always was, and he swirled his digit around, gathering the moisture, before moving up to her clit.

"Shit," her breathing stuttered. Jace found a spot on her neck, the spot that made her spine arch, and he sucked hard. He circled her clit, moving quicker as he heard her breathing shift. While she came quicker when his fingers were inside her cunt, her orgasms were always harder when they came from him just stimulating her clit, and her fingers curled into the bed sheets as she got closer to her orgasm. She was thrusting her hips up into his hand, wanting him to push inside her, but he refused to move, knowing that it was better for her if he just kept rubbing her clit. "Fuck!" Clary cried out as she came, her back snapping off the bed, her mouth open as she gasped out a string of unintelligible words.

"That's right, babe," Jace murmured, nipping at her neck as he slowed the circles he was making, but not stopping completely as she rode out the rest of the shock waves from her orgasm. When her body finally relaxed back onto the bed, he pulled his hand out from her shorts and fell backwards onto her bed. Clary's breathing took a few minutes to get back under control, but then she rolled onto her side, reaching for his hand, sucking each of his fingers in turn, tasting herself on his skin. Jace couldn't help but let out a moan, his cock pulsing in his jeans. He was already hard just from feeling Clary and watching her get off, but as her tongue slid up and down his fingers and over his palm, he got even harder.

"I was actually about to have a shower...When you came in and interrupted me," Clary told him, her voice low. "Care to join me?"

"Hell, yeah," Jace smirked at her, giving her a hard kiss on the mouth. She kissed him back for a few seconds, her hand reaching between his legs and squeezing his cock with her hand. He groaned in her mouth and she grinned as she pulled back, wiggling her eyebrows teasingly before rolling off the bed and skipping out of the bedroom and toward the bathroom. "Tease!" Jace shouted after her and just got a laugh in response. He heard her turn on the shower and he waited on the bed for a few minutes, knowing that it took a couple of minutes for the water to heat up. He could hear her singing in the bathroom and he couldn't stop the fond smile on his mouth.

Clary pulled off her clothes, tossing her damp underwear and shorts in the washing basket in the corner of the room before walking naked back into the hallway to grab out a couple of towels from the linen closet. She stepped into the shower, knowing that Jace would join her soon. She tipped her head back, getting her hair wet, and then scrubbing shampoo through it. Jace came in just as she was rinsing out her hair, and he stepped in with a lewd look up and down her naked body.

"Fuck, I love it when you're like this," he murmured as he reached past her to grab the body wash.

"Naked?" Clary joked.

"All wet like this," the pupils of his eyes were blown, almost taking over the iris. "I fucking love it." He poured some of the body wash onto his hand and then discarded it on the ground. "Turn around," he said, his voice rough. She did as he said, flattening her hands against the wet walls of the shower above her head, letting her back arch out so that her ass brushed against his cock. She heard his sharp intake of breath, rubbing herself up and down and feeling the slide of his wet cock against her ass.

"You going to wash me down or what?" Clary teased lightly, wiggling her ass and making him clench his hands for a second, before rubbing them together so that the body wash foamed. He began rubbing her down, his movements sensual as he started on her back, his thumbs digging into her back. She made little sighs and moans which were more from the massage than anything sexual, but they were doing all kinds of things to his body. He moved his hands around to her front, finding her breasts and rolling them in his hands. They were slippery, and he could tell that made it feel even better for her because she starting shaking under his touch, especially when he pinched at her nipples. One hand stayed where it was, playing with her tits, while the other came around to her ass. "Shit..."

"I love your ass," Jace growled, slipping his hand between her cheeks, touching her rear entrance with the pad of his finger, grabbing at her perfect cheeks. "Bend over," he whispered and she complied readily, bending at the waist and steadying herself with her hands against the wall. She spread her legs apart as Jace had to bend his knees to line up with her. It wasn't the most comfortable position to do it in, but it felt fucking good with both of their bodies all wet and sliding together, and it definitely made cleaning up easier. He slid inside of her, and let out a guttural moan as she moved her thighs a little closer together so that she tightened around him and he had to grit his teeth together, before pushing into her and driving them both toward their orgasms.

 _Now, something that I wanted to ask everyone, is if you can all check out the upcoming stories on my profile, and let me know what your top three picks would be? Just so I have an idea of the ones that people are looking forward to and can focus on those :)_

 _The things that I'm into at the moment are Charles/Erik from_ X-Men _, the reboot trilogy, with Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy. Holy shit. So beautiful. Completely obsessed. And then it's like I've become re-obsessed with Derek/Stiles from_ Teen Wolf. _The songs I've had on replay are_ Can't Fight This Feeling _by Justin Timberlake, which I know has been completely overplayed, but it's just such a happy song, I'm totally in love! And the second one is_ Last Night On Earth _by Delta Goodrem, which is just so sweet. And the last one is_ Give It Up To Me _by Sean Paul and Keyshia Cole, an old one._

 _Right! So, I'll be back next year, pretties :) Until then, one last review? Pretty please? And I'll send out a preview :)_

 _Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to you all :) xxx_


	9. Chapter 9

_Okay! So I'm back! And I'm back early, you may notice! I was planning to update until next week but I've had so many reviews and messages on here and on Facebook asking for me to post earlier, so here we go! Uh, I've also had a lot of people asking why I decided to take a break for a while—almost two months! Holy shit! I'll keep it brief so you can get on with reading...1) Life! Real life always comes first and it's been super busy. 2) Health. This definitely comes into the 'real life' category, but something that some of you will know is I deal with some insane headaches and migraines on an almost weekly basis and at times work is draining enough, I can't come home and sit in front of my computer and type/edit. 3) Response. So many of you guys are incredible. FUCKING INCREDIBLE. But that doesn't discount the occasional nasty review or message which really hits home when I spend so much time pouring my heart into these stories :(_

 _Anyway, on with the story!_

It had been a while since Clary had gone over to her mothers, and so on Saturday morning she drove over to the home that Jocelyn and Luke Greymark shared. Luke was out of town on work, and so it was just the two woman there. Jocelyn cooked them both breakfast as Clary sat on the bench and swung her legs, her heels hitting the cupboard, the pair of them talking easily. Jocelyn piled the pancakes high on the plate and then nodded over at her daughter to get the condiments out of the fridge.

"So I'm going to assume that that's from Jace?" Jocelyn raised her eyebrows at Clary, and her daughter blushed a little, putting her hand to her neck to hide the hickey. "Little high school, isn't it?"

"Shut up," Clary groaned as she began pouring berry syrup all over her pancakes.

"Are you guys together yet?" Jocelyn continued as she balanced her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her palm. "Or are you still pretending that you're just friends and that this little arrangement you've got going on is not affecting either of you?" Clary rolled her eyes and didn't reply as she added cream to her pancakes and then started cutting into the pile. Jocelyn regarded her for a moment before shrugging and cutting into her own pancakes.

"We're just friends, mum," Clary mumbled a few minutes later.

"No, you're not," Jocelyn fired. "If you're not admitting you're together, then the least you are is lovers."

"Ew!" Clary cringed as she looked over at her mum. "Ew, that's disgusting. That word is just...Weird—especially since Luke calls you his _lover_." Jocelyn snorted and shook her head at her daughter.

"The two of you have been dancing around each other for years—even before you started sneaking off to parties with him when you were sixteen," she said. "And I don't know what it is exactly that's stopping you two from even trying to function like a normal couple, but I know that you owe it to both of yourselves to at least give it a go." Clary stared down at her plate, rubbing her thumb over the handle of the knife in her hand. "Baby?"

"It could change everything," Clary replied quietly.

"That doesn't mean it would change for the worse," Jocelyn reasoned. "You're already good friends, you're already sleeping together—you act as though you're a couple as it is!"

"Yeah, but we're not," Clary said. "Which means that if things go wrong, it's not like there's going to be some messy break up. Or if one of us decides we don't want to...Want to do this anymore, then it's not like we're going to go through this massive awkward stage and our friends needing to tip toe around us, and choose between who they are going to hang out with in the weekends. And I can't risk me and Jace not being friends," she grimaced at the thought. "I couldn't imagine that."

"Sweetheart," Jocelyn reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "Just because you two don't have a label, doesn't mean all of that stuff isn't going to happen if your little arrangement comes to an end." Clary's throat felt scratchy as she stared down at her food, and there was a knot in her stomach that suddenly felt as though it was tightening. "And I know how he is, a little damaged because of what happened to his poor mother, but at some point, he is going to want an actual relationship."

This was exactly why she didn't talk about her and Jace.

Not with Isabelle.

Not with her mother.

Definitely not with Jace.

She didn't even like to think about it.

"If you don't even try, babe, what's going to happen if he finds someone and he's happy with them? And then you really are 'just friends'?" Jocelyn continued. Clary's stomach felt even worse and she pursed her lips as she tried to keep herself composed, and act as though she didn't want to throw up everything that she had just eaten. "Clary?" Jocelyn murmured.

"I really don't want to talk about it, mum," Clary finally said, not even able to glance up from her food. She was worried if she did, if she met Jocelyn's knowing gaze, then the pressure behind her eyes was going to release, and she wasn't going to let that happen. Jocelyn was quiet for a few minutes before there was a scrape and click of her knife and fork back against her plate.

"Okay, baby," she conceded quietly. Clary was grateful when her mother started talking about what her and Luke were going to do for their five year anniversary next week.

* * *

"No, but honestly," Isabelle pouted as she turned around and looked in her full length mirror. "Does this dress make my tits look abnormally big?" Even though her mood was a little off, Clary still couldn't help but snort and shake her head at her best friend. Izzy put her hands under both breasts, moving them up and down and then glaring critically as she rearranged the straps of material that fell across her chest from her shoulders.

"I'm pretty sure having big tits is never a downside," Clary noted as she nudged her friend out of the way with her hip and then leaned forward to do her waterproof eyeliner. "Anyway, you're going to be out of it pretty damn quickly once we get there, and you want to get into the pool."

"That's a good point," Izzy agreed with a smirk and a shrug as she picked up her glass and took a sip of the alcohol.

"Can you believe that Seb is back?" Clary crinkled up her nose.

"How many times do you think he'll hit on us tonight?" Isabelle grinned. "I'm thinking five."

"Ooh, it depends," Clary wiggled her eyebrows as she leaned over to grab her lipstick off the set of drawers, even though she knew that it would be washed off as soon as she got in the pool. "Do you mean five times on each of us _individually_ , or are you thinking two times each and then one time as a pair? I'm pretty sure he still thinks that we walk around in our underwear and pillow fights together every night just because we're roommates." Isabelle rolled her eyes as she walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out a pair of high heeled shoes. "He's one of a kind, that boy."

"Ah, but we love him," Izzy sung out as she suddenly became a few inches taller with her shoes on. "Because he's one of us."

"I guess if we have to," Clary sighed. The smile on her face dropped and she moved away from mirror and walked out of the room, crossing the hallway to her own room. She had been doing her make up in front of the mirror in Isabelle's room in just her strappy bikini. She rummaged through her closet and pulled out a dress, tugging it over her head and then turning around and facing Izzy, who had followed her into her room.

"What's wrong, doll?" Izzy asked, tilting her head to the side and crossing her arms over her chest. "You've been acting a little funky all day. Did something happen with your mum?" Clary let out a sigh through her nose and then reached up to swipe her hair upward, away from her neck, so that her friend could see her hickey. "It's a hickey. Okay?" Izzy looked confused. "A little tacky, but not necessarily a bad thing. Jace?"

"Yeah," Clary said. "Mum started talking to me about us—me and him." Isabelle made a face, clenching her teeth together. She had tried to talk to Clary about her and Jace for quite some time, but she knew when to back off. "She started saying that if I don't make a move or if we don't try and make a go of it, then he was going to end up with someone else." Isabelle bit down on her painted lower lip, not sure what to say, because both her and Clary knew that Jocelyn were right. "It's just...I don't want to think about it, Iz. I really don't want to think about it. And I don't want to go into this party tonight with my head all messed up because of it."

"You know that even if you forget about it tonight, it's still going to be there tomorrow, right?" Isabelle reminded her gently. It wasn't very often that Izzy tread carefully, and sugar coated her words, she was more about just getting what she thought out there in the open, blunt and straight to the point. Clary was one of the only exceptions to this, and that was because Clary was like her sister.

"I know, Iz. Don't you think I know that?" Clary huffed.

"I don't know if you do!" Isabelle protested. "I mean, you guys have been sleeping together for—how many years?!"

"Almost five," Clary murmured.

"Five years! That's longer than half the marriages in Hollywood last!" Clary shot her a dark look and Isabelle knew they were getting into dangerous territory. "Okay, fine. We won't talk about it tonight. But you know that you're going to need to at some point, right?" Clary grudgingly nodded her head. "Right, well, if we can get Simon to come and pick us up, I've got the perfect pick me up."

"I'll give him a call," Clary said as she walked over to her bedside table where her phone was charging. She hoped that the boys weren't all drunk yet, although at least one of them would still be able to drive because she knew they would have someone as a designated driver to go down and get drinks until about nine or ten o'clock that night. "Simon?" Clary asked as the phone was picked up.

"Yeah? You guys okay? You gonna be here soon?" Simon asked.

"Do you think that you could come around and pick me and Iz up?" Clary looked over to where Isabelle had come back into the room, holding up a little clear bag up with some white pills.

"You girls already pre-gaming?"

"You know us," Clary gave Izzy a relieved smile as she was handed a pill over to her. "Anyway, can you get us?"

"Sure, be there in a couple of minutes," Simon said.

"You're a fucking life saver," Clary gushed.

"We love you, Simon!" Isabelle yelled from where she was standing in the doorway. Clary ended the call as she held the pill in one hand and then picked up her glass from where she had put it down on top of her drawers.

"X?" She asked.

"Only the best," Isabelle smirked as the two girls threw the pills back and washed them down with their vodka mixes.

 _Right! So...How was it?_

 _I've got lots of recommendations I want to make coz I've been away for so long, but I'll just throw a couple out there. Movies—_ Moana _! It was amazing. So was_ Rogue One _, which I didn't expect to like because I'm not a big fan of Felicity Jones, but it was incredible, and Diego Luna is my new love. And a couple of songs I'm in love with at the moment are_ Falling For You _by Lyon Hart and_ Dangerously _by Charlie Puth._

 _Alright, so, tell me...Did you guys all have an amazing Christmas/New Years? Me and my hubby always travel for Christmas to see extended family, but it was just a quiet one at home with a couple of his family members, so that was nice. And for New Years we rented out a house by the beach with a couple of our close friends, so that was amazing._

 _Tell me what you guys got up to, and leave a review._

 _And if you guys want a preview of the next chapter, just ask, and I'll throw one out there ;) Don't forget to check out the new multi-chapter stories, which you guys all voted on, as well as a bunch of new oneshots I've written. I've gone and put some of them up :)_


	10. Chapter 10

_First chapter of the party scene that quite a few of you seem to be looking forward to! Hope it lives up to your expectations :)_

By the time Simon had driven around the girls house, they were already feeling the affects of the ecstasy they had taken. Mixed together with the alcohol that they were throwing back, the colours around them were all starting to bleed together and dance, and they were giggling as they linked arms and walked out to the curb where Simon was parked. It wasn't very often that the girls used X, they mainly stuck to weed and alcohol, but that didn't mean they didn't branch out every now and then.

And with the way that Clary had been acting when they were getting ready, Isabelle had guessed that now was one of those times where they should throw back the little pills that she kept in the jewelry box in her room.

"You girls seem a little...Buzzier than usual," Simon pointed out as the two girls got into the car, Clary in the back seat and Isabelle in the front.

"We're going to a party, right?" Isabelle grinned and leaned across to squeeze his thigh, poking her tongue out, as Clary leaned forward, knees hitting the back of the drivers seat as she wrapped her arms around Simon's neck and pressed a slobbery kiss against his cheek. Simon laughed as he tried to duck away from her arms, but clearly didn't mind the attention from either girl as he pulled away from the curb and started driving back toward their house. It was getting dark, and there was music playing from inside the house as they pulled up, other cars parked along the street.

"Are people already in the pool?" Clary asked as she spilled out of the back of the car, almost tripping over her feet as she did so. "Because I'm going to get in the pool."

"Wait for _meeeeee_ ," Izzy sung out as she got out of the car. Simon was a bit worried that she was going to end up face first on the pavement with the massive heels that she was wearing, but Isabelle was a girl of many talents and managed to stay on her feet just fine. It was the middle of Summer, so even though it was almost nine o'clock, it wasn't quite dark yet, the sun still setting in the distance. Simon had already done a couple of drink runs, and he was adamantly not going out again, given everyone else in the house was well on their way to being drunk. By the time he walked inside, a few seconds behind the girls, they had already disappeared into the crowd.

"Simon!" Maureen Brown squealed out from where she was sitting on the kitchen table next to a couple of her friends, swinging her legs. Simon smiled awkwardly at her, walking over to her and letting her pull him in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You just go and get Izzy and Clary?" She asked.

"Yeah—did you see where they went?" Simon frowned as he looked around.

"Nope!" Maureen didn't look all that bothered as she leaned in, smushing her mouth against Simon's mouth. Jace was walking past just as the kiss started and he raised his eyebrows, letting out a snort of laughter as he lifted his glass bottle of bourbon and cola to his lips and took a drink. He exchanged a look with Jordan, who was sitting on the back of the couch, one arm around Maia and talking to a couple of her friends, and they grinned at what was going on with their bespectacled friends.

He had been pining after Isabelle for so long, it wasn't healthy. All of his friends, including Alec—weirdly enough—told him that he needed to talk to her, and let her know how he felt. But he had been too scared to, and so he had pretty much been blue-balling it for the past year except for the occasional make out session with a random in a club.

But Maureen had been trailing after Simon for some time now, and it looked as though she was done waiting.

All the better for her, Jace thought. It would do them both some good. Maybe Simon would get over Isabelle, or maybe Isabelle would see what she's missing out on.

It was just after nine, and their house was already filling up. There were girls in the pool, and Sebastian looked as though he was more than happy with the turn out, his arms around two different girls, dressed only in their bikinis. Jace's eyes were skimming over the crowds to find one particular girl though, and he knew that she should be there because Simon had gone to pick her up. He was distracted by a couple of friends, and ended up settling down at the picnic table across from Magnus and a couple of other people, passing around a bong. It wasn't until almost two hours later and he heard a familiar laugh coming from the pool that he remembered who he was looking for. When he got up, he was a little unsteady on his feet, and had to put his hand on Kaelie's shoulder to steady himself.

"You okay there?" She giggled as she looked up at him. He wasn't too sure when she had wiggled her way between him and Raphael Santiago, but he did know that she had been the one next to him, passing the bong over and blowing smoke out of her pursed, glossed lips in his face.

"I'm good," he gave her a short nod, not wanting to give her to much encouragement. He wasn't _that_ stoned. His limbs felt a little sluggish but his head space was stuck in that floaty stage that, and he narrowed his eyes to focus on what was going on around him. The music was even louder now, and not for the first time, Jace was glad that their neighbors were young people on one side and then Hodge on the other, who never had an issue with their noise.

And then he found her.

In the pool, with about ten other people, sitting on one of the steps that lead down into the water so that she could comfortably sit with half her body in the water and drink from the bottle in her hand. Alec was paddling next to her, clearly not quite as drunk as everyone around him, as he laughed and talked. He said something that made her smirk and reach out a hand to ruffle his hair, making it even messier than it usually was and Jace couldn't help his small smile. Isabelle was in the pool as well, at the other end, a cigarette between two of her fingers as she talked to Sebastian, catching up with their old school friend. Magnus was still at the table, entertaining the others there, and Jordan and Simon were still inside, both of them busy with their respective females.

The most important people in his life.

Clearly the weed was going to his head because he was feeling all tingly inside and a dopey grin was on his face, but he really didn't care.

He looked back toward Clary, and she must have been able to feel his eyes on her because she looked up and caught his gaze. She looked even more gorgeous when she was looking directly at him, and he felt that weird tug at his stomach that had been happening more and more often. Her hair was piled high on top of her head, strands escaping and sticking to her face and neck, and she was wearing a dark coloured string bikini that made her cleavage look even better than usual. When he felt his stomach doing another flip flop, he cleared his throat and walked over to the table where there were drinks and plastic cups piled, trying to ignore it. After he mixed himself a drink he walked over to the pool, sitting on the edge and dangling his legs in.

"What's up?" He greeted Alec and Clary. Alec grinned at him, taking the drink from his hand and throwing back almost half the cup before giving it back, and Clary reached up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"How many bowls you done?" Alec asked with a raise of his eyebrow. "You're looking a little blazed."

"Maybe a little," Jace held his thumb and forefinger an inch or so a part. "I think that Magnus is breaking out the good stuff." He didn't miss the way Alec's eyes flitted over his shoulder toward the picnic table, and Clary didn't either, although she looked as though she wasn't paying too much attention. She relaxed back on the steps, putting both elbows back on the step behind her and letting out a heavy sigh.

"She's on something stronger than pot," Alec murmured to Jace with a smirk before he pulled himself out of the water, standing on the steps next to Clary. "I'm going to go and see what they're smoking over there—before Magnus gives away all the good shit!" He leaned down to kiss Clary on the forehead before walking around the edge of the pool toward the group of people passing around the bong. Clary watched him go before a couple of people swum toward her to get out, and she was splashed with water, especially by one girl who fell over a few times as she stumbled up the stairs. Clary let out a giggle, shuffling over the side so that she was closer to Jace.

"Hey, pretty girl," Jace hummed out, putting one hand underneath her chin and tilting her head upward so that he could run his finger along her lower lip. Her pupils were blown wide and were dancing, and the skin of her face was warm to the point where she was flushed. "You didn't come and see me when you came in."

"Didn't realize I reported you," Clary poked her tongue out at him before jerking her head away so that she could swallow back more of her drink.

"What are you on?" He asked.

"Izzy had some X," Clary replied.

"She got anymore?" Jace wiggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed, running her fingers over the surface of the water, dunking one finger at a time into the still-sun warmed pool and then flicking a few droplets toward Jace, looking entranced.

"I think she left them at home," Clary replied, sounding distracted as someone laughed at the other end of the pool. "Besides," she twisted her head back to look at him. "You're already high. You don't need anything else."

"Yeah, well..." Jace trailed off with a shrug before pushing off the edge of the pool and sliding in next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in close. Clary laughed as he pulled her into the deeper water, her legs going around his waist. They were jostled a bit by others in the pool, everyone rowdy from whatever drugs and alcohol they had taken, and maybe it wasn't a good idea to go to the deep end given how much Jace had smoked, but he felt pretty confident about his ability to keep his balance. "You wanna know something?" Jace mumbled as they reached the end and Jace pushed her up against the wall.

"What?" Clary sung out, wiggling against the wall and rolling her hips forward, her legs creating a cradle for his quickly hardening cock to press into.

"You're pretty fucking hot," he smirked and rubbed his nose up and down her neck.

"Oh, thanks," Clary rolled her eyes, before grabbing his face and pulling him in for a passionate kiss.

 _Happy Valentines day to you, beautiful people! My song recommendations this time are_ Wild Things _by Alessia Cara. Pretty much anything by her actually, a massive thank you to my babe reppinda5o3 for making me listen to her in the first place. Then there's_ Paris _by Chainsmokers, and_ Please Don't Go _by Joel Adams. All songs I'm obsessed with at the moment._

 _Something that I forgot to make mention of in my last update—and I can't believe I forgot because I was a total mess when it happened—was Carrie Fisher :( OMG. It was so horrible to hear about her passing, and then her mother. My heart goes out to their family._ Star Wars _and Princess Leia will always hold such a special place in my heart xx_

 _Please leave a review, let me know what you guys think! If you're logged in and you ask, I'll send out a preview :) xx_


	11. Chapter 11

_Second half of the party chapter that people were excited about :)_

It turned out that Izzy _did_ have some more X on her, and she found Clary sometime after midnight to give her another one, sending her spinning high above everyone else, and Jace coaxed the dark haired girl to give him one as well. The colours around them all exploded, brighter and more vivid, and every time Clary reached out and touched Jace, it felt as though sparks were bursting underneath his skin. Usually, like Clary, he was happy with just weed and alcohol, but the occasional pill popping wasn't something he was opposed to.

"I need you," Jace growled against Clary's neck as they danced in the middle of a throng of people on the balcony. Clary ground her hips backwards, feeling his arousal pressing against her rounded ass, and she reached a hand back to wrap around his neck. Jace brushed his teeth over her earlobe and felt her shiver in response. "Come on, babe," he didn't let their bodies separate as he took a few steps backwards, into the house. There house was completely filled with people, and Jace had to let go of Clary's body so that they could wind their way through the lounge and down the hallway. Raphael and Magnus were in the kitchen, and looked as though they had the munchies as they watched a pizza cooking in the oven. Alec was hovering over them, looking like a worried mother hen as he fussed over the pair, reminding them to use oven mitts when getting the pizza out.

"Those two really need to get over themselves," Clary snorted as Jace dragged her down the hallway. "The sexual tension between the two of them turns _me_ on when I'm in the same room as them." Jace laughed as they finally reached the end of the hall and pulled her into his bedroom. His double door leading out into the backyard which was filled with their drunk friends and acquaintances was open, and he quickly walked over and slid it shut. He jerked the curtain shut and then turned around and faced Clary, who was looking over at him with a lustful look in her eyes, biting down on the corner of her lower lip in a way that made him throb in his pants.

"You're fucking gorgeous," Jace sighed as he closed the distance between them, jerking her upwards so that her legs went around his waist and they were facing each other.

"You said that already," Clary mumbled against his mouth. Both of their bodies were still damp from the pool, but their temperatures were burning hot from everything they had taken, and it wasn't long before they were ripping each others clothes off, dumping them on the ground and falling onto the bed. Clary giggled as Jace let out a frustrated noise as strands of wet, shaggy hair kept falling in front of his eyes and getting in his way. She pushed them away with her fingers and then pulled him back in for a kiss, their teeth and noses bumping together as they frantically touched each other. Jace didn't waste much time sinking two of his fingers knuckle deep inside her warm heat, and Clary's whole body jerked upward at the motion. "Oh, _God_!" She cried out.

"No, just Jace," he smirked and Clary managed to narrow her eyes at him but the expression that he gave back was unapologetic as he kept pumping his fingers in and out of her. Clary squirmed underneath him until she was gushing over his hand, and Jace knew that his cock was leaking pre-cum just at the sight of the girl beneath him twisting under his touch. She grabbed onto his shoulders with both hands, her fingernails digging into the muscle there, and she pulled him back down to her.

Jace had had sex while on X before, and there really wasn't anything quite like it. Everything was heightened, everything felt ten times better than it usually did, and it always felt pretty fucking amazing with Clary _anyway_. He grabbed a condom and rolled it on, and then leaned back on his haunches while Clary rolled over and then clambered up so that her ass was sticking out and her hands were braced against the headboard. He let out a growl from the back of his throat as his eyes skimmed over her; her head was thrown back with hair tumbling down her creamy back, which was arched, her spine elegantly curving downward, and then there was her ass.

Her fucking _perfect_ ass.

Jace slapped it hard, and Clary let out a squeal, her body jolting forward, and there was a rush of wetness to the apex of her legs. The hit from the palm of his hands made her whole body quiver, and she leaned back, wiggling her ass at him, needing to feel him, her pale skin reddening from his touch.

"You're fucking perfect," Jace breathed, dropping a few kisses to her blemish-free back. She made a noise that had his cock throbbing even moreso, and he pushed inside her. They both let out a heaving sighs of relief, and he didn't give them time to adjust before he was pushing into her again and again. Her walls clenched around his cock, and one hand rested on her hip, pulling her back harder against him, and the other found her hair, pulling hard at it. Clary felt everything tighten as he tangled her hair around his fist.

"Come on, Jace," Clary panted. "I'm gonna come..." by the times she got the words out, she was already coming. The pressure around his cock was unbelievable, and the hand in her hair loosened, moving around to her face, and she sucked two of his fingers into her mouth. Jace groaned as she licked at them, until he felt the knot at the base of his spine release, and he was emptying into the condom.

* * *

Clary woke up the next morning, her mouth dry and feeling like it was full of cotton wool. She didn't really have a headache, because she wasn't hungover, but her body felt heavy and sluggish. She groaned as she pressed the heel of her palms into her eyes and took in a couple of deep breaths. It had been hot last night, usually her and Jace slept with one of the windows open, but given there had been a party going on last night, they had kept everything shut up, and so the room was a little sticky and overheated. Her and Jace didn't usually sleep all tangled up in each other, but they still touched somehow through the night. Right now, he was splayed out, naked with the sheet tangled around his legs, with one his arms above his head and the other reaching onto her side of the bed, fingers hooked just under her hip. She tried to ignore the pressure and what it did to her stomach and heart, and take in another deep breath.

Everything her mum said was right.

Everything Izzy said was right.

She knew how she felt about Jace, even though she tried to ignore it. She'd had a thing for him for as long as she could remember, and she had thought at one stage that they could actually make a go of it. But Jace didn't _do_ relationships, he had been scared off them after his mother had committed suicide, and Clary already had a fear when it came to commitment given her father had walked away from her mother without a second glance, and had left her broken, with a young daughter. And so she told herself that their situation worked, and she ignored the warnings that her mother that she had already thought to herself a hundred times over.

Clary got out of bed and stretched, arching her back and reaching her arms above her head. She found her bikini bottoms from last night, and one of Jace's shirts, and then headed out of the room. The sun was shining brightly, and her eyes stung a little.

"Morning, Red," Simon croaked out from where he was leaning against the kitchen counter, looking like death warmed over, with a coffee cup in his hand, shoulders hunched forward. Alec was at the breakfast bar, his hair all spiked up and a mess in front of his eyes, one elbow braced on the counter while the other hand was shoving toast in his mouth, trying to soak up all the alcohol in his stomach. He gave Clary a nod of his head by way of a greeting.

"Not looking too good over there, Si," Clary noticed as she walked over to the coffee machine and flicked it back on, grabbing out a mug from the cupboard. "Have fun with Maureen?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him and then cringed as the slight movements made her eyes ache. "Shit," she sighed.

"Have fun with Jace?" Simon teased back weakly. The coffee machine clicked off and Clary poured herself a drink, taking a sip. She felt drained and heavy, and she knew that it was the downward spiral of the X, and she just needed to push through it. Jordan and Maia were in the lounge, Maia looking more awake than the rest of them as she flashed her a smile, and Jordan looked about as hungover as Simon. There was shuffling behind her, and Clary glanced up to see Jace coming in. He bee-lined for the coffee machine, getting himself a cup and the slung his spare arm around Clary's waist and drew her in close. He drank from his coffee first, and then dropped a kiss to her shoulder.

"Wait, and you guys... _Aren't_ together?" Maia tilted her head to the side as she looked between the two. Clary opened her mouth to reply when the door for the spare room opened, and Sebastian.

And Isabelle.

They both had sex hair, Isabelle not wearing a bra under her thin shirt and Sebastian looking very satisfied.

Clary's eyebrows flew upward and she couldn't help but let out a startled laugh. Isabelle glared over at them, looking a little embarrassed as she glanced between Clary and Simon, and then quickly dropped her gaze. Clary saw Simon purse his lips and look down into his coffee cup. She made a face as she looked up at Jace, who just shrugged in response. Kaelie also appeared a few minutes later, and Simon and Clary exchanged looks.

"I crashed out on one of the spare mattresses," she supplied as an explanation of her presence.

"Coffee?" Clary suggested to the three, although there was a definite look of disgust on her face as Kaelie made herself comfortable at the breakfast bar next to Simon. Isabelle stumbled past Clary and held up her middle finger as the red head looked as though she was going to say something.

"Not a fucking word," she said warningly. "Not a single fucking word." Jace snorted, burying his head in Clary's hair. Clary tipped her head backwards, closing her eyes as she leaned backwards against Jace. The movements were comforting and familiar, and the people who were around the two of them on a regular didn't pay much heed, but this was one of the first times Kaelie had been around them in such a casual environment, and she frowned at the pair of them.

Clary pointedly ignored her.

"Someone had fun last night," Jace snorted and Clary turned her head to where Magnus was walking down the hallway toward them, his steps a little awkward, and wincing a little. Clary grinned at him, laughing as she eyed him up and down. Magnus just pulled the fingers at him, scratching at his naked chest as he did exactly what the rest of them were doing, and pouring himself a cup of coffee. He cringed when he turned back around and leaned awkwardly against the bench beside her and Jace. "You need a cushion there, Mags?"

"Fuck up," Magnus growled, but he didn't look upset or annoyed, just extremely hungover and well fucked. His eyes flickered over the counter to their right, and Clary followed his gaze. Her whole body jolted and her eyes went wide as she saw Alec meet his eyes before flushing pink and looking back down at his empty plate, at the crumbs left from the toast.

"Oh my god!" Clary cried, earning groans from the whole room as her voice pierced their headaches. "Oh my god!" She repeated, still looking completely stunned. "You guys fucked!" Jace frowned and Isabelle looked between Magnus and Alec, eyebrows furrowed.

"Holy shit, you did!" The younger Lightwood said triumphantly. "You guys finally did it! Oh my _fucking_ God!" Alec was now almost bright red, while Magnus just had a tiny smile on his face, drinking from his coffee cup. Jace snorted and reached across the bench to give Alec a light punch on the shoulder. Then he dropped his chin back to Clary's shoulder, taking in a deep breath and surrounding himself with her comforting scent as everyone slowly came back to life after their night last night, talking to one another and moving around the kitchen and lounge.

 _OMG! How many times have you guys watched Jenna Dewan-Tatum's dance to her hubby's_ Magic Mike _song? She's so fucking hot! Her and Channing are my fave celeb couple *sigh*. Out of those Lip Sync battle performances, I don't know if it's the Tatum's who are my favourites, or the Hough siblings, coz Julianne and Derek are just baaaaabes._

 _So for another story that I'm working on, can you guys give me job/career ideas of what you imagine our TMI characters having in an AU world? Clary, Jace, Izzy, Simon, Alec, Magnus, Kaelie, Maia, Raphael...Etc etc. Let me know in the reviews or in a PM._

 _Also, can we just take a moment to appreciate how beautiful Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner looked at the Oscars? Holy shit. And how Taraji P Henson absolutely slayed on the red carpet? She's so fucking_ gorgeous _._

 _Please leave review!_

 _And if you're logged in and want a preview, let me know xx_


	12. Chapter 12

_Everyone seemed to enjoy the fact that Malec are finally together! Haha. Now we've just go our other couples to work on._

Isabelle was in a bad mood for the next few days, and she wouldn't tell Clary why. Sebastian was heading back home in a few days time, and Clary was happy about that. Every time she had gone over to the boys place, he had been there, putting his two cents in, and being a dick about Izzy. Just because he had been part of their group back in high school, didn't mean he was one of the people that they kept up with. Clary had teased Izzy about sleeping with him, given how hard Sebastain had tried to sleep with them pretty much since they were sixteen and they had both managed to avoid him. Clary could still say that she hadn't succumbed, but Izzy couldn't say that anymore.

"You going to tell me what's up your ass?" Clary asked as she stacked the dishwasher at work. Isabelle was making up a couple of burgers that were ordered by a few young kids, and she had the same stroppy expression on her face that she had been wearing since Sunday morning, and it was now Thursday.

"I'm fine," Isabelle grunted.

"Oh yeah? You're fine," Clary rolled her eyes as she opened up a packet with a washing tablet in it and put it into the dishwasher. "I'm pretty sure you're not fine, because I haven't seen you in a mood this bad since Johnny gave you chlamydia." Isabelle grumbled something under breath but still didn't respond. Clary frowned and turned around to face the dark haired girl. "Izzy, come on. What's going on?"

" _Nothing_!" Isabelle protested. Clary wanted to push it further, given Izzy had been grouchy and avoiding her almost all week, but at work wasn't the best time for that.

"Okay, whatever," Clary shrugged. "Anyway, I'm going to the club with the boys tonight. Jace and Jordan are promoting. You want to come?" Izzy shrugged, finishing off the burgers and then grabbing the plates and stalking back into the restaurant. Clary frowned as she watched Isabelle go and then pulled her phone out of her pocket. When the boys were promoting the club, they got in for free and they also got free drinks. Simon had text her about half an hour ago to ask if Isabelle was going to come.

 _Don't think so, buddy. She's still acting kinda weird._

She didn't have to wait long for him to reply, but then, it never did take long when it came to Simon talking about Izzy.

 _Anything I can do?_

 _She'll be fine. I'll see you tonight._

Clary actually had an idea of what was wrong. Even though Isabelle had never really said anything about being interested in Simon in that particular way, he had always been front and centre when it came to her. Clary knew that Simon had slept with other people, but it had never really been something that he flaunted, so him and Maureen at the party the other night...It could have been what had been on Izzy's mind since then. Clary wasn't going to say anything though, because it was Isabelle's choice. Simon had been waiting for her for years, and if she had only just decided that she wanted him, then she was going to need to be the one making it up to him.

* * *

"So, you think you can do your thing for Seb?" Jordan nudged Clary in the side.

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't need any help getting in some girls pants," Clary rolled her eyes as she looked across the booth at Sebastian, who was leering at a couple of girls at the bar. "Last time I checked, he even managed to talk his way into my best friends pants, so I think he's doing just fine on his own."

"Hey, she was happy to do that all on her own," Sebastian protested.

"Aw, come on," Jace gave her an easy smile. "You know we'd be lost without you."

"And don't I know it," Clary stuck her tongue out at him, pinching it between her teeth, before she picked up her glass and threw back the rest of the her drink. "Fine," she sighed out as though she was doing them the biggest favor.

"You're the best," Jace smirked and leaned in to kiss her on the corner of the mouth.

"You know," Sebastian wiggled his eyebrows. "You could always save yourself the trouble, and just come home with me instead." Clary rolled her eyes as he raked his eyes up and down her body, over the tight white dress she was wearing that full of slits and mesh so that only the really essential parts were actually covered.

"Not likely," Clary pulled the fingers at him, but without any real malice in her expression. Jace, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes, the corners of his lips tightening almost imperceptibly. He pursed his lips and unconsciously took a step closer to Clary, throwing his arm over her shoulder. She didn't pay much attention to action as she looked around, her eyes skimming over the other girls in the club, the ones on the dance floor, and in booths, and standing by the bar. Jace had excused himself from the table a few minutes ago to go over and do his thing, mingling with the club goers and selling the place—basically needing to sell _himself_. Him and Jordan were good at their jobs because they were easy on the eyes and they were charming to be around. People tended to come back to clubs where there were hot people that were easy to talk to.

Clary was momentarily distracted from her job to find Sebastian a hook up when watching Jace dance with Jordan and a couple of girls. The girls were clearly plastered, even though it was only just after midnight, and they were trying to get up close with both of the boys. They were allowing a little touching, but they kept their distance, laughing and smiling with the girls as they moved their bodies to the music. When one of the girls, a curvy brunette, put her arm around Jace's neck and rolled her hips against him, Clary felt a twinge of jealousy in the pit of her stomach which she tried to trample down.

This was his job, and hell—even if it _wasn't_ , this was none of her business.

He could do what he wanted.

She distracted herself by taking in a couple of deep breaths and looking away. The club was busy tonight, and there were blue and green spotlights dancing around the place, creating enough light that people knew where they were going, but enough darkness that people thought they could get away with putting their hands down pants or up skirts. The air was thick with sweat and combined cologne and perfumes and alcohol, and occasionally the air conditioning was turned on and there was a burst of coolness. When she felt like her mind was calm enough, she looked back at the dance floor, but Jordan and Jace had already moved on from the girls, making their circle around the club.

Clary swallowed hard and then set her eyes on a girl that she could tell would be Sebastian's type. Leggy, blonde and wearing far too much make up. She pointed her out to Sebastian, who grinned and nodded, and then she glanced over at Simon who just rolled his eyes and laughed and Clary rolled her shoulders and put on a face as though going into battle. She turned on her 'girly' side as she flounced over to the blonde.

"Oh my god," she greeted the girl in a breathy voice. "I absolutely love your shoes. Where did you get them from?"

It worked.

Just like it did every time.

Sometimes Clary felt a little sorry for the girls that she sidled up to on request for the boys, but hey, they were never pressured into it. If they wanted to say no, they had every choice. And sometimes it worked out well, given what had happened with Jordan and Maia.

"Clary!" Came a shout from behind her, and Clary looked over her shoulder from where she was standing at the bar, ordering another flaming shot. Raphael was weaving through the crowds toward her, and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek as he squeezed into the bar next to her. "How's it going?" He asked before calling out to the bartender and asking for another Jack and coke.

"Not bad," Clary replied, raising her voice so that she could be heard over the thumping music. Her and Raphael had never been close, but their social circles seemed to bump into each quite often. He was okay, a little narcissistic and full of himself, but that was hardly something she could hold against him given Jace was so much like that. He was attractive as well; olive coloured skin, spiked dark hair, and a piercing in his lip and eyebrow. "You here with someone?"

"Nah, solo tonight," Raphael smiled at her as he tipped the neck of his bottle toward her. There was a glint in his eye that said he clearly wasn't thinking about going home solo, but she ignored it. "What do you say, Clare? You want to dance?" He reached out and put his hand on her arm, running it down to her elbow, tapping his fingers there softly.

"I think I'm good, Raph," Clary shifted her arm away from him and let it fall to her side. "I was actually planning on heading home."

"You weren't going to wait for your man to finish his shift?" Raphael looked over at where Jace was laughing with two girls, leaning in and touching their arms and doing that thing where he stuck the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he grinned. It drove Clary wild, and probably did the same for other girls.

"He's not my man," Clary mumbled, for what felt like the hundredth time in her life, but tugging at her heart just as painfully as the first time.

"You sure about that?" Raphael raised his eyebrow and gave her an annoying smirk. Clary stared at him for a moment before letting out a sigh.

" _Yes_ , I'm sure," her tone was a little sharper than she had intended. "I'll see you around, Raph." And with that, she stalked out of the club, not looking back.

 _So we've got a little bit of jealousy going on here, which was bound to happen._

 _Okay! So my song recommendations this time are_ Eraser _by Ed Sheeran, but let's be honest, I completely love pretty much everything by him. Also_ Alarm _by Ann Marie, which was recommended to me by Caaatttt, and_ Sleepover _by Hayley Kiyoko, although just like with Ed Sheeran, I love everything by Hayley, and her music videos are always incredible._

 _Something else I wanted to ask about was if any of you guys have watched_ Riverdale _? I remember reading the_ Archie _comics when I was younger, and I was pretty surprised when they decided to make a show about it. I find the show...Pretty average, but I really love some of the characters, especially Cheryl Blossom and Jughead Jones. And so, like with any fandom when I start to really like the characters, I've decided that I'm probably going to write a fic! I'm wondering if any of you guys would be interested? Let me know!_

 _Leave a review, let me know what you think :)_

 _And if you're logged in and want a preview, let me know, and I'll send one out xx_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey, guys! Now, something I didn't actually realize, was that I didn't tell you guys the movies that inspired we to write this. I thought I had put them in the first chapter, but then after speaking with someone the other day, I realized I didn't put them in! Okay, so the movies are_ The Spectacular Now, Skateland _and_ We Are Your Friends. _Let me know if you've seen any of them :)_

"I didn't realize there was going to be so much writing involved in this!" Clary groaned as she dropped the pen that she was using and shook out her hand. "If I knew I had to write a fucking essay, I would never have agreed to this." Isabelle looked up from her laptop with a smirk, carding her fingers through her long hair. "How come you only had two pages, and I've got, like, a novel?!"

"Because yours is a proper, big deal degree. Mine's just a six month course," Isabelle reasoned. Clary sighed as she crossed her arms on the table and closed her eyes, letting them rest for a bit. Her and Isabelle had decided that they were going to go through with the application process of applying to University. Clary was still feeling a bit nervous, especially since she had to submit a portfolio of her art work and an accompanying essay, and the whole thing just felt so _weird_ for her. She had never even thought about applying for colleges when everyone was doing it in their senior year, it had just never appealed to her. But since Isabelle had brought it up, she had started looking through the booklets and pamphlets her best friend had got. She had been talking about it with Jocelyn as well, who sounded excited for her daughter.

The whole idea...It was still scary. They would need to move, at least for the semesters, and then they could come back here during the break. Clary's degree would take three years if she decided to go through with it, but Isabelle had already said that she didn't care if her course was only six months, there was no way she was moving back here without Clary—they stuck together. Izzy had talked about it with her parents, but she hadn't mentioned it to Alec yet—neither of the girls had mentioned it to their friends. Sure, they were applying, but that didn't mean that they had gotten in, and even if they were both accepted, that didn't mean they actually had to go. Clary was pretty sure that was the only reason she wasn't freaking out about the thing right now, was because it still felt as though she was in control, and could say no at any point if she didn't want this.

"Hey," Izzy's voice was soft. "You know this would be awesome for us, right? We could end up, I don't know, actually _doing_ something with our lives."

"You not happy with the way things are?" Clary teased with a raise of her eyebrow.

"You know I'm happy with our life," Isabelle rolled her eyes. "But...I mean, we don't exactly make great money. How are we meant to save for a wedding, and for a house, and then support kids..." her voice was soft, and she was tapping her fingers against the side of her laptop as she stared down blankly at the keyboard. The smile dropped off Clary's face at her friends tone, and what she had said, realizing how serious she was.

"Izzy?" It came out like a question. "I didn't...I didn't even know you wanted those things." Isabelle blinked and looked up from the keyboard, her face clearing from the confused expression. "I mean, you never talk about it."

"Well, you know..." she shrugged and then flashed a smile which wasn't quite sincere. "Anyway, how much have you got left?" She leaned over the table, feigning interest in Clary's messy handwriting.

"Nah-uh-uh," Clary covered her papers with her hands, refusing to let the topic be changed. "What's going on? What's got you talking like this?" Isabelle sighed and slumped back in her seat, pushing the laptop away from her and toward the centre of the table. "Iz?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I mean, all this University stuff? I think it's good for us. You and your art, you could really do something, you know? You're too good to be stuck here in this life like everyone around here. I mean, there's people who left high school ages ago, and they're still stuck in these shitty part time jobs and living in their parents basements and shit. And there's our parents—mum drinks pretty much from eleven in the afternoon onwards because she got pregnant with Alec right out of high school and has nothing to do with her time, and dad hardly ever talks, he just sits in front of the television as soon as he gets home. And your mum—don't get me wrong, I fucking love your mum—but remember when she would take us into the city? And to those art galleries?" Clary nodded. "I never got those places, you know I don't give a shit about art and painting and everything, except for yours. But you and your mum, you could spend hours there. And I remember once your mum said that she got a job offer to work in a place like that, she just had to finish her degree. But she got pregnant, and she dropped out." Izzy took in a deep breath. "You're better than that."

"So are you, Iz," Clary reached across the table and laced her fingers together with her best friends. "Fuck, you know I'm not going anywhere without you."

"I know," Isabelle squeezed her hand. "And I'm not...I'm not insanely passionate about something like you are with your art. But I love doing hair and make up, and maybe it's not a profession that would make heaps of money, but it's better than waiting tables for the rest of my life."

"And the whole marriage, house and kids thing?" Clary pressed, rubbing her thumb across the top of Izzy's hand. "We've got time for that. We're only twenty-two. We have time for that."

"I'm pretty sure I know that better than anyone," Izzy snorted. "I love being single, and I love going out and not having to answer to anyone," her face fell a little and Clay pursed her lips together, wondering if she should say something about Simon, or leave it up to Izzy to mention him. "But sometimes it would be nice to have someone that's actually mine, and isn't just around for the good times." She lifted her eyes and to look at Clary. "Other than you, of course."

"Of course," Clary laughed. "You know I'm forever yours." The two girls smiled at each other, totally comfortable in each others presence as they held hands across the table. "I _have_ thought about that...It's just...Everything here, it's so familiar, you know? I can't imagine leaving it..." she drifted off, her gaze sliding to the side.

"You mean leaving Jace?" Isabelle asked softly.

"That's part of it," Clary admitted quietly.

"That's a _big_ part of it," Izzy interjected.

"Maybe," Clary sighed, feeling her chest tighten at the conversation that was about to happen, and she pulled her hand away from Izzy's so that she could scrub it over her face, pressing her fingers into the corners of her eyes. "No, you're right." Izzy's eyes widened, surprised. But it was surprise that Clary was actually opening up about Jace, not how she actually felt, because that had been clear for a long time. "I'm kind of in love with him, Iz," she whispered, the words almost choking her as they came out.

It was the first time she had actually said them out loud like this.

Maybe she had said them about him or to him in the past, but it had always been in the friendship manner, nothing more.

And maybe she had occasionally thought of him in that way over the years, but saying them made it feel so much more real.

"I know, Clary," Isabelle murmured, her voice soft.

"I had such a big crush on him back in high school," Clary's voice still sounded broken, as though the words were hurting her as she spoke. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger before dropping both palms to the table. "When I was thirteen or fourteen, and him and your brother started hanging out with us more? I thought he was so cool," she snorted. "And then that all kind of faded as I went out with some other guys. But after his mum...After his mum offed herself, he sort of was my only focus. Maybe that wasn't healthy of me—"

"That wasn't just you, Clare, that was all of us. His dad is a fucking asshole, who cheated on his mum pretty much every day until she was depressed and insecure with herself and everything in her life that she took way to many sleeping pills," Isabelle assured her. "We were all just looking out for him."

"I know," she let her chin dip forward. "Once we started sleeping together, about seven or eight months after his mum died, he told me pretty early on that he wasn't looking for a relationship or anything. He saw what it had done with his mum, and he never wanted to risk turning into either her or his dad. And then he said that I should understand that, given dad walked out on me and mum and everything." Clary licked her tongue along her gums as she thought back to when they were teenagers. "And I did get it, kind of." They had never really talked about it again, so Clary could only really go off feelings that she would get. Sometimes, Jace would give her these long looks, or touch her cheek really softly, and she would wonder if he wanted something more. But then she would see him with other girls, and even though they would still see each other on a weekly basis, they could go months without sleeping together. "I just really don't know what I'm meant to do."

"Yes, you do," Izzy said quietly. "You know you have to tell him."

"What if I loose him? What if he doesn't feel the same way, and our friendship is ruined by this?" Clary began, a pained look on her face. "I can't do that."

"Yes, _you can_ ," Isabelle insisted. "You two...You two are incredible together. Maybe you don't see it—maybe _he_ doesn't see it—but we all can. When you are together, there's this spark, and it's _only_ when you're both together that you get it." Clary looked over at her but didn't look convinced. "Look, Jace is complicated. And with the example he had set for relationships—you can understand why he's scared! But what you guys have...It's worth a shot at least. You both deserve that." She took in a deep breath and scratched the side of her neck.

"I'll get there," she muttered. Isabelle raised an eyebrow, not looking as though she believed her friend. "But you know right now isn't the right time. It's the anniversary this weekend."

"I know," Isabelle said quietly. It was the six year anniversary of Celine Wayland's death. The first few years had been hard, and Jace had just holed up in his room, ignoring everyone, pretty much just getting drunk and stoned. The past few years had been a little better, though. He still didn't go to work, and Clary always took the day off to spend with him, but he didn't totally retreat into himself. He still wouldn't talk about Celine, but at least he didn't shut Clary out completely. "Seelie and Kaelie have a party on that day, Jace said that he was going to go."

"Really?" Clary raised an eyebrow in surprise. "That's going to be an interesting night."

"I know," Izzy cringed.

 _My song recommendations this time are_ Galway Girl _by Ed Sheeran,_ Kings _by Years and Years and_ Pretty Girl _by Maggie Lindemann. Especially the first song, I've had it on repeat for the past two weeks. So addicted. Also Calum Scott's cover of_ Dancing On My Own _. Holy shit. So incredible. His audition for Britain's Got Talent almost had me and my husband in tears, he was so incredible._

 _Also, I can't stop watching_ Law and Order: SVU. _I've watched it on so many occasions, but holy shit, I've almost made my way through two seasons in two weeks. Haha. Olivia Benson is one of my all time favourite characters of all time...She's so amazing...Another show I'm really getting into is_ Riverdale _. I thought it was quite young the first few episodes, but I'm quite enjoying it now. I absolutely love Cheryl, and I really like Betty and Jughead and Veronica as well :)_

 _Leave a review, let me know what you guys think xx_

 _If you would like a preview, let me know in your review :)_


	14. Chapter 14

_Hey, guys! So here we go with the next update. Also just wanting to let you know that I will be taking the rest of the month off, so no other updates until May. Just have a lot going on in my life at the moment and I'm feeling a bit stressed out. But I'll still be around, so if you want to fangirl or talk, send me a PM. From May, the updating schedule on my profile will be adhered to once again :)_

Clary sighed as she leaned toward her mirror, running the eyeliner pencil under both eyes, and then picking up the mascara wand. Usually the anniversary fell on a weekday, and Jace would take the day off work, and Clary would as well, and they would spend the day getting high at his place. The boys would find somewhere else to go, only coming home late. Jace was doing better, he didn't fall into this deep dark hole that it he did in the first few years, when he would go on drinking binges that would last a week or so around the anniversary date. Hodge was a god send—he always had been. He would make up meals for Jace and the boys during that time, he would call Clary to make sure everything was okay, and he had even driven them to the hospital one night when Jace had needed to have his stomach pumped. He never really asked any questions, but he knew what Jace was going through, because his own daughter had committed suicide about ten years ago.

Jace hadn't been to the grave site since her first anniversary, that was something that he had actually told Clary. He said that after eighteen months had gone by, he got angry, because what she had done was selfish. Clary hadn't tried to make him feel better, because you had no right to reason with someones grief, so she had just held him, and let him fall into a haze of weed. And he hadn't spoken to his father since he moved out of home, the day after his eighteenth birthday.

Tonight was different though.

Tonight, he wanted to go to a party. He was going to get drunk and undoubtedly stoned.

She had no idea how it was all going to go down, but she couldn't help but think that it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Alec tried to talk him out of going," Isabelle said quietly from the doorway as she put earrings on. "But Jace is being all macho, saying that there's nothing wrong."

"Great," Clary muttered. "So it's going to be one of those nights."

"Something like that," Isabelle made a face. "It's okay, we're all going to be there. The boys aren't going to get too drunk, so that they can all rally around him if we need to." Clary nodded and looked once more at her reflection in the mirror. Her make up was all finished and she just needed to find something to wear. "Ooh, go with that one," Izzy said as Clary pulled out a red dress. "You look hot in that one."

"You saying that I don't usually look hot?" Clary stuck her tongue out at her friend, who just rolled her eyes.

"Hurry up! Simon's coming over to pick us up in ten minutes," Izzy reminded her before leaving the room. Clary unhooked her bra, tossing it toward the corner of the room as she pulled on the dress. She slid it on properly, rearranging the straps over her shoulders and smoothing out the skirt over her thighs, and then found a pair of shoes to pull on. "Simon's here!" Izzy yelled out, and Clary grabbed her phone and wallet walked out to the lounge. "Hey," Isabelle nudged Clary with her hip. "It's going to be okay, alright?"

"I know," Clary attempted a smile, but she knew that it wasn't fooling her friend. All she could think was how bad it had been up until a few years go, and even in the past few years, even though it was better, _he was still a mess._ He was still a kid that had lost his mother in a horrible way, and had been ignored by his father. She was only just able to get through to him in the past few years, and he still didn't talk to her about it, it was more just that they would sit in the same room as each other, getting drunk and stoned, and having sex. He just let her into his space.

"How's he doing?" Izzy asked as she and Clary climbed into Jace's car that Simon was driving.

"Ignoring what day it is," Simon muttered as he waited for the two girls to get buckled in. "Which could be a good thing, I guess."

"Or a really fucking bad thing," Clary sighed, flicking the hair that was falling in front of her face out of her eyes. Simon and Izzy exchanged looks as she settled into the backseat and crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, I can see you two. I know you think I'm over reacting."

"We don't think you're over reacting," Isabelle turned around in her seat. "Just maybe this year he's doing better, and you're getting too worried." Clary nodded and forced another smile, looking out the window. Simon and Izzy started talking and Clary tried taking in a couple of deep breaths through her nose. Maybe they were right, and Jace was adjusting. It was six years now, he was twenty-two years old, and they all say that hurt fades with time.

"So you're good with being our sober ride home tonight?" Clary asked as they pulled up outside the house.

"Yup," Simon flashed her a smile as they all got out of the car. "I'm sober driver for you guys and the boys tonight, I'll just make two trips. So let me know when you're ready to leave, and I'm all yours." He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, before throwing an arm around her shoulders as they walked toward Kaelie and Seelie's house. Izzy usually walked out in front of them, always wanting to be in the middle of the party and the dancing and the drinking. But tonight she hung back, and Clary noted with interest that she was walking pretty close to Simon, their arms bumping together as they went.

Maybe Izzy was finally coming around.

"Izzy! Clary!" Magnus cried out as they walked in the front door, and Clary couldn't help but laugh. Magnus was always the life of the party, just like Isabelle, and he looked gorgeous, as usual. He was wearing a deep v-neck, painted on leather pants, and had gold eyeliner framing his cat like eyes. "Hey, my babies," he smushed kisses against both of their cheeks before pulling away and wiggling his eyebrows at Simon. "And Si, of course."

"I just saw you," Simon laughed. "I don't need a kiss as well."

"Oh well," Magnus shrugged with a quirk of his eyebrow. "Your loss." Simon poked out his tongue at him and Magnus just pursed his lips in a kissy face in return before turning around and dissolving back into the crowds. Kaelie and Seelie were throwing the party in their normal, big fashion. There was alcohol bottles on the benches and the tables in the lounge, alcohol that daddy had paid for undoubtedly, and Izzy instantly lead the way over to one of the tables and poured them both drinks. Clary's eyes were bouncing around the room, looking for one specific, golden haired boy, and Izzy nudged the red solo cup against her arm.

"You need to take a breather," she murmured over the loud music and yelling around them. "The boys will be keeping an eye on him as well." Clary nodded and took the cup, wincing as she sipped from it.

"Shit, Iz!" She choked on the amount of alcohol that was in the mix as it poured down her throat, letting out a laugh. "Is this straight vodka?!"

" _Nooooo_ ," Isabelle smirked. "Maybe just, like, ninety-five percent." Clary rolled her eyes as her friend bumped their cups together. "Come on, drink up. Let's have at least a little bit of fun." Clary nodded, downing half the cup and then her eyebrows shooting up near her hairline as she spotted Magnus, weaving his way over to Alec.

"Wait, are they making it all official now?" There was a smile on her face as she saw Magnus stand in front of Alec, and Alec reached out and touched his hand, fingers brushing over his knuckles.

"Who?" Isabelle finished her drink and let out a hiss through clenched teeth before turning around and following Clary's gaze. "Oh shit," she grinned, her eyes dancing. "Oh shit, that's awesome." The two of them linked their fingers together, and then Magnus leaned in and pushed his lips against Alec, and Alec responded eagerly. The two girls watching both let out excited squeaks. "Oh my god, we need to go over there!"

"Hell yes," Clary put her drink down on the table, hoping that Izzy didn't notice she hadn't finished off her drink, and the two of them wound their way over. The kiss wasn't anything special for the room full of people, where a lot of people were making out and grinding on each other, but after so long of dancing around each other, the public display of affection was a big deal for them. The two girls pushed their way through the other party goers, and by the time they were standing in front of the others, Alec and Magnus had pulled away and had noticed them. "So...?" Clary sung out and wiggled her eyebrows at them. "What's going on here?"

" _Please_ tell me that you guys are actually together now?" Izzy was practically vibrating with energy.

"We're seeing how it goes," Alec said diplomatically, while Magnus just rolled his big eyes dramatically and squeezed even closer to Alec's side.

"Yeah, something like that," he smirked. "Hey, I was thinking—" suddenly Magnus stopped talking and the smile dropped right off his face. The absolute change in his facial expression had the other three all following his gaze, wondering what it was that had invoked the shift.

Jace.

An absolutely plastered Jace.

So drunk that he was clinging onto Kaelie to actually stay on his feet.

"Shit," Isabelle breathed, her eyes wide.

"Fucking hell," Alec rubbed a hand over his face, pressing his lips together. Clary didn't say anything, chewing down worriedly on her glossy lower lip, her big green eyes wide as she watched him sway into the room. He wasn't just drunk, he was high as well, his pupils dilated and his fingers twitching a little. "This is not good."

"How's he been all day?" Clary asked quietly, Alec still able to hear here despite the music and the noise around them.

"He's been fine," Alec muttered. "Maybe a little too fine. We asked if he was alright, and he was all 'yeah, sure, of course, why would something be wrong?' like he was just ignoring what day it was."

"And now it's all coming crashing down," Magnus sighed.

"Should we say something?" Isabelle looked worriedly over her shoulder at the two boys before back at their golden haired friend. His feet were dragging along the ground as he and Kaelie joined a circle of people. When he laughed, it sounded too loud, and Clary cringed. "Maybe you should try first," Izzy nudged Clary in the side. "You're the only one that he lets in at this time."

"Looks like he's letting someone else in," Clary muttered, her voice a little bitter as she saw the way that Jace was groping Kaelie's ass sloppily, and she was pawing at his chest.

"Clary, c'mon," Alec reached out and gently touched her shoulder. "It's not about that right now." He was right, Clary knew that. This wasn't about whatever fucked up relationship they had, this was just about Jace, and how he was dealing with his grief.

"I got this," Clary murmured, taking in a breath and rolling her shoulders. She walked over to the group, trying to look at ease as she stood opposite Jace. "Hey, guys," she smiled at the circle, and they all greeted her back. Jordan was one of them, and he reached out to brushed her fingers against her elbow, obviously knowing why she was there and looking a little worried as he glanced over at Jace. Jace grinned at her, but his eyes were glazed and off-kilter, and it made Clary's heart do a nervous, worried skip.

"Clary!" Jace slurred and reached out for her across the circle, almost stumbling over in the process. Kaelie didn't look too happy at the idea of letting him go, but unless she wanted to be pulled with him, then she needed to move her arm, so she did. "I didn't know you were here!" Jace gave her a wet, open mouthed kiss on the cheek that made Clary tense.

"I just got here not so long ago," she told him with a forced smile.

"Have you had a drink? Or—or Seelie has some X," his skin was burning up as he pressed against her and she felt more worry flow through her.

"Oh yeah?" She tried to keep her voice light, as though she wasn't internally panicking and trying to figure out what was flowing through his bloodstream right now. "And how much of those have you had?"

"He's fine," Kaelie's voice was snippy. The others standing around them all exchanged looks, except for Jordan, wondering what was going on. Everyone knew that Jace's mum had committed suicide, or at least, the one's who had been here when they were in high school, but it wasn't as though they remembered the date of it. And it's not as though Jace went around and advertised what he went through. They didn't know how messed up Jace could get at this time, or the potential he had to loose it emotionally right now.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jace told her, sounding distant as he leaned against Clary. Her knees buckled a little under his weight, but she held him up. "You don't need to worry about me, Red."

"You know I always worry about you, Jace," she was still trying to keep her voice calm, detached, while her narrow eyes skimmed over him, taking in all the signs he was showing that he had most definitely taken more than a normal dose of ecstasy. She scratched the side of her head and looked over at Jordan, who's tongue was poking out the corner of his mouth as he watched the pair of them, pinched between his teeth. The rest of the circle had lost interest, now passing around a joint and talking about some chick who was apparently getting eaten out in the kitchen, the only one still paying attention was Kaelie, with grumpy eyes and a sour look on her face.

"I still have some," Jace announced, fumbling around in his pocket and then pulling out a hand, three pills laying in his palm. "Have one with me."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you've had enough," Clary forced a laugh, trying to keep things light.

"Nah, not yet," Jace made a motion as though to throw all three back and Clary's eyes went wide, the falsely calm demeanor that she had been trying to keep up dropping as she let out a squeak and smacked his hand away, sending the pills skittering across the ground. "What the _fuck_ , Clary?!"

"You're kidding, right?" She snapped at him, letting out an exasperated sigh as she waved her hand up and down, indicating his slumped over state. "You can't take anymore of that! I'm fucking worried we're going to need to get your stomach pumped as it is!"

"Oh, fuck off, Clary," there wasn't really any venom behind his words, but he didn't look very happy. Clary bit down on the tip of her tongue, stopping herself from hissing something back at him, and she looked across the room to where Alec, Magnus and Izzy were all looking at them, concerned. Izzy could see the look in her eyes and she said something to Alec and Magnus, and then the three of them were starting to make their way over.

"Piss off, Clary," Kaelie began, reaching and putting a hand on Jace's arm.

"Look, Kaelie," Jordan began, looking a bit uncomfortable at being caught in the middle of it all. "Maybe you should—"

"Should what, Jordan?" Kaelie looked over at him, head tilted to the side. " _What_?!" The atmosphere suddenly felt a whole lot more tense than it had just a few seconds ago. Clary was glad that she hadn't finished the cup that Isabelle had given her, because she could already sense that this was going to get out of hand. The room was hot, and thick with the smell of weed and sweat from the twenty or so people crammed into the lounge. There were more people in the hallway, and in the adjoining kitchen, and they were yelling, talking, singing, laughing; the music the was pounding from the three different speakers just adding to the noise. Kaelie, Clary, Jace and Jordan were being jostled from all sides, and Clary felt her body bouncing around a little from the pressure of needing to hold up Jace's body as well.

"I think we all need to take a bit of a breath here," Izzy began as she reached them.

"Chill out, Iz!" Jace groaned in frustration. "Why is everyone such a fucking buzz kill tonight?!" His words were slurring together and Alec swallowed hard in concern, glancing over at Clary for a split second before looking back at his friend.

"Just maybe you should slow down, is all," Jordan piped up. "I mean, it's not even midnight yet."

"And?!" Jace shouted, suddenly snapping. He seemed to draw strength from _somewhere_ because suddenly he was standing on his own, although a little precariously, pulling away from Clary. "Fuck, you guys all need to take whatever the fuck it is that's got sticks shoved up your ass and take it elsewhere. I'm not fucking interested."

"Jace, you know why we're worried about you," Clary tried to keep her voice low, not wanting to draw attention to his problems, reaching out to try and take his hand.

"Fuck off, Clary," he growled, and then he shoved her away. It wasn't particularly hard, but it was a surprise, and it was enough to send Clary stumbling backwards and banging her head awkwardly against the wall behind her. Jace didn't even look back at her, either because he didn't process what he had done or because he was too drunk and high to care.

"Jace!" Izzy cried.

"What the fuck, man?!" Alec growled, his eyes flashing. Izzy and Jordan grabbed for Clary, steadying her back on her feet, and she angrily blinked, tears flooding to her eyes. Alec grabbed Jace's shoulder, but he jerked his shoulder away, falling to side and grabbing onto Kaelie. The blonde seemed more than happy to support his weight.

"Wanna go upstairs?" Kaelie giggled, nudging him. "I promise I'm all about having fun tonight." Clary felt as though she was going to throw up in her mouth as Jace nodded, and the two of them stumbled away.

 _Songs this time..._ Symphony _by Clean Bandit featuring Zara Lasson. Holy shit. So completely in love._ Shape of You _, the cover by Madilyn Bailey. This chick has_ suuuch _an incredible voice, I love most of her covers, but this one is amazing. And the song_ Shout _, the version by Think Up Anger, that was on Riverdale. It's incredible. Also, I finally got around to watching_ The Get Down _, and I can't believe I waited so long,_

 _Let me know what songs you guys are listening to, and if you guys have seen_ The Get Down _!_

 _Did you guys like the chapter? Yes, no, maybe?_

 _Leave a review, let me know what you think :)_

 _Also, I would like to say Transgender Day of Visibility for the other day xx_

 _If you guys are logged in and want a preview, just let me know, and I'll send one out!_


	15. Chapter 15

_And we've got an update! Thank you guys for being patient with me; just got a lot going on right now, and my health is still playing up_ — _alongside my usual migraines, I've also had a cold for over a month that I just can't shake, so if you guys have any home remedies, let me know!_ _Anyway, on with the chapter, hope you enjoy!_

 _Also_ — _there's been so problems with uploading, giving me errors when I'm uploading, and apparently not sending out alerts to you guys by email. So...Fingers crossed this works for everyone this time!_

There was no way that Clary could actually hear what was going on upstairs between Jace and Kaelie, over the noise in the house, but her mind was filling in the spaces for her. She knew what Jace was like, and she knew what he was like when he was high, she knew what he would be doing to her if that was her up there and she could just imagine Kaelie's over the top, breathy sighs and high pitched moans. He had sometimes had sex with other girls, just like she occasionally had sex with other guys, they were never exclusive, but it was never like this. It wasn't thrown in her face or paraded right in front o her, he had always had more respect for her.

She kept telling herself that it wasn't Jace, he wasn't in his right head space anymore, if it wasn't for the mixture of drugs, alcohol and the grief he wasn't admitting to anyone or himself, he wouldn't be doing this right now.

But that didn't make it hurt any less.

Her stomach felt as though it was contracting violently inside her, and her heart was aching in her chest.

"Are you okay, Clary?" Alec cupped her chin with one hand, the other running over her head, feeling for the bump that had risen from where she had hit the wall.

"I'm fine," Clary tried to reassure him, pushing away his hands.

"We shouldn't have let him come out tonight," Simon sighed as he scratched the back of his neck, glancing toward the stairs where Jace and Kaelie had disappeared. The party was still going on around them, the group of them being jostled and bumped, a couple of people protesting at them for blocking the doorway as they tried to get through. Alec and Jordan weren't having any of their shit, pushing people back and Alec fixing them with his legendary death glare when they tried to say something back.

"You didn't _let_ him come out," Clary rolled her eyes, trying to make them feel better, just like they were trying to do for her. "He's a grown ass man. He doesn't need your permission, and he doesn't need to listen to us if he doesn't want to."

"We still could have tried something," Simon looked distraught, as though this was his fault, and Isabelle reached out to link their fingers together. "I can't believe that he—"

"Simon," Clary reached out and tried to give him a comforting smile, punching him lightly in the shoulder, although she knew her expression was shaky. "I'm fine. It was just a bump on the head."

"It's not just that and you know it," Magnus pursed his glossed lips together and rubbed at his eyes in frustration, not caring for probably the first time in his life that he was smudging his carefully applied make up. He nudged Alec out of the way with his hip and pressed kisses against Clary's forehead and cheeks. Clary was still struggling to smile, trying to make them give her a breath, but to be honest, she felt like she was going to either empty her stomach on the floor or pass out.

"I think that..." her confidence was quickly crumbling and Izzy could read it all over her best friends face.

"Clary?" She untangled her hand from Simons and grabbed Clary's arm. "Clary, are you okay?"

"I think that I want to go home?" Her voice was wavering and tears were prickling at the corners of her eyes. She refused to cry in this room full of people, even though most of them would have been too drunk or stoned to notice. "Yeah, uh..." she took in a shaky breath. "I think I want to go home now."

"That's fine," Simon assured. "I can give you a ride."

"Yeah, we'll go," Isabelle said, wrapping her arm around Clary's shoulders.

"We can come too," Alec offered.

"No, no," Clary shook her head. "You guys stay, enjoy your night," she tip-toed and kissed the dark haired boy on the cheek, and then Magnus, before letting herself lean back on Izzy.

"As if we're really going to enjoy our night after all that happened," Magnus snorted. "You go home, okay? And you get a good nights sleep, and we can deal with all of this shit in the morning." Clary nodded. Her and Isabelle turned to make their way back through the throngs of people, Simon close behind them. Clary was glad that she had gone with flat shoes that night instead of heels, because she was pretty sure she wouldn't have been able to walk right now. Everything sort of felt like it was blurring together, and she let Isabelle lead her to the car. Both girls got into the backseat, Izzy wrapping her arms around the redhead and holding her, not bothering with a seat belt as Simon drove them the ten minute distance home. Once they got home, Clary went to her bedroom first, scrubbing off her make up viciously with a wet wipe and then changing out of her party dress and into an over-sized shirt and a pair of sleeping shorts. Then she crawled into bed, pulling her blankets up around her.

Simon and Izzy came in a few minutes later, and they curled up on either side of her, their arms overlapping as they held her. Clary felt the tears drip down her face steadily, until she fell asleep.

* * *

When Clary woke up in the morning, her head was aching a little. Not in the hungover kind of way, more in the way where she hadn't slept very well—there was tension behind her eyes. She rolled over, and Izzy was lying there, fast asleep, still wearing her dress from last night, hitched up around her waist, and her make up was clumpy around her eyes. She could hear someone moving around in the kitchen, and then she could smell bacon frying. Then there was a squeak and a bump and a muffled ' _oof_ ' and despite how Clary was feeling right now, as the events of last night came flooding back, she couldn't help but smile at Simon's typical clumsiness. She got out of bed and pulled on a jersey, then walked out to the kitchen.

"Hey, Si," she murmured as she came into the same room as him. Simon turned around, giving her a goofy smile, a couple of bright red marks on his arms. She frowned, and then laughed when she realized that they were burn marks from the oil in the frying pan. "You're a walking mess, you know that, right?"

"Now that's no way to treat the man who is cooking you breakfast," he retorted.

"I know, I know," Clary smiled at him, coming over and giving him a hug. Simon awkwardly hugged her back with one arm, the other arm holding the spatula and flipping the bacon. "Did you sleep with us last night?"

"Kind of, I was in the bed, but didn't really get all that much sleep," Simon gave her a half smile. "You two are tiny, but you take up a lot of the fucking bed, you know?"

"Shut up," Clary rolled her eyes at him as she walked over to the cupboard and began getting out plates, and then knives and forks.

"No, seriously! I remember when me and you would have sleepovers, when we were kids, and you always took up so much room in the bed! You, like, star-fished out or something," Simon snorted and Clary just rolled her eyes again. "Anyway, I've got French toast all ready, staying warm in the oven, and the bacon is almost ready—"

"Where did you even get all this stuff? Our shopping day isn't until Tuesday, and I know for a fact that our cupboards are bloody empty."

"I went down to the shop," Simon said, and Clary felt a rush of affection for him. "Anyway, did you want to go and wake up Iz?"

"Yeah, sure," Clary grabbed out three cups as well, and turned on the coffee machine, and then walked back toward her room. Isabelle had rolled over since Clary had left, arms flung out over both sides of the bed now, and Clary had to admit that she knew Simon was right. Both her and Izzy had a really bad habit of taking up a lot of the bed. There were some nights when they fell asleep together, if they were watching a movie in one of their rooms, or if one of them just needed comfort, and they would always spread themselves out over as much of the bed as they could, legs and arms overlapping. "Oi," Clary gently shook her friends shoulder. "Hey, wake up. Simon has made us breakfast." Izzy groaned and turned over to bury her face in the pillow, but Clary kept poking at her back until she finally opened her eyes.

"What?" She groaned out.

"Si made us breakfast," Clary repeated, and saw the way that Izzy's eyes changed from blurry to more alert at the idea of food.

"What'd he make?" She asked, as though testing to see if it was worth getting out of the warmth of the blankets.

"As if it really matters what he made," Clary snorted. "Someone made you breakfast, and I know how much you love food, so get your ass out of bed, and get out there." Isabelle made a face, but slowly rolled over, wincing when she saw that she was still in her clothes from last night, and when she rubbed her eyes, black smears smudged against her hands from her make up. The two girls trailed back out to the kitchen, and Simon had just finished serving up the hot food.

"Oh my god, I love you," Izzy groaned out, and then her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed red and she pressed her lips together. Clary raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, and there was some look that was exchanged between the Izzy and Simon, but they didn't say anything. The three of them each made their coffee and then sat down at the table, digging into their food.

* * *

Jace woke up with a start, the feeling of his stomach twisting and bile rising in his throat. He had no idea where he was right now, but he needed to find a bathroom. He fell out of the bed, not caring that he wasn't wearing any clothes, and stumbled down the hallway, managing to find the door for the bathroom just as he felt the vomit in his mouth. He crouched over the toilet and emptied his stomach. He threw up until all he was throwing up was clear liquid that made his whole body lurch.

He wiped his mouth, flushed the toilet, and then splashed water over his face. He blinked as he tried to remember last night, because he hadn't thrown up because of a hangover in _years_. Given he couldn't even remember last night, other than arriving at the party with the boys, he really must have gone all out. Not surprising, with the way that he had felt.

It had been the anniversary of his mothers death, and he hated how much he missed her. It made him feel weak, when she was the one that had left him. He had seen grief counselors and he had talked about it with his friends, and the way he had felt about Celine's suicide was always confusing. He missed her, _so much_ , but then he was furious at her, for leaving. The two emotions overlapped and got all muddled up inside his head, and they always came to a peak at this time of year.

Jace walked back out into the hallway, and recognized where he was.

Still at Kaelie's.

He cringed as he realized that the room he had come out of was Kaelie's, and he walked back slowly, seeing the blonde tangled up in the sheets, completely naked.

"Shit," he muttered in disgust as he grabbed his clothes and dressed quickly, making his way out of the house.

 _Sorry, this is going to be a little bit of a long A/N—only because I've got a lot that I want to recommend to you guys! Movie wise; I've only just seen_ Moonlight _, taken me a while to get there, but I saw it, and I loved it. My heart was aching through it, but it was beautiful._ Beauty and the Beast, _it was great. Was really worried because I loved the original so much, but it was great. And also_ Logan _, shit—I managed to hold it together right at the end, where Laura changed the cross to a X. Then I kind of lost it. So I absolutely recommend all thee of these._

 _Now, with TV series—_ Big Little Lies _. Holy SHIT! This was incredible! I binged the whole thing in one morning. It was sooooo good. I've also just started watching_ American Gods _, and I've got high hopes for it :) AND_ SENSE8 _SEASON 2 IS OUT! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! And it's just as amazing as ever! Also, I've got some song recommendations;_ Enjoy The Ride _and_ Alive _, by Krewella. Great songs, I've had them on repeat for the past couple of weeks. And then_ Red _, by Tyler Ward. The original song is by Taylor Swift, although I've never actually heard that version, only the one by Tyler, and it's so fucking beautiful._

 _And finally, I've got two stories that I'm pretty obsessed with. The first one I've been meaning to recommend for ages, but I just kept forgetting! It's by reppinda5o3, who is absolutely fucking amazing and listens to all my word vomit with my stories and is always there for me when I need to rant/rave. It's called_ Clarissa Is A Punk _, it's an AU story, she write in incredible detail, and you should all check it out! The second story is_ The Cry of The Wild _, another AU story, by happiness trap. She updates frequently as well, so that's always a plus!_

 _Alright—so let me know what you think of the update! Did you enjoy it? Let me know what your recommendations for songs, fics, movies or TV series are, and if you guys agree with the ones I've included._

 _If you'd like a preview of the next chapter and you're logged in, let me know, and I'll send it out xx_

 _Also, it's my birthday next week, so a review would be a pretty nice present from ya'll :)_


	16. Chapter 16

_Hey, pretties! I wanted to say a special thank you to you guys who were giving me different tips to get rids of my cold that's been hanging around. I'm happy to report that it is starting to disappear, although I'm still drained. Not too sure what it is, past couple of weeks have just been hard. Not having a great day today, so thought I would update, get my mind off things! Oh, also, I'm really sorry about the errors and stuff that have been happening with this site. When everything got fixed, a lot of random alerts came through to me, including reviews that dated back to sometime in March, so if I've missed replying to some, that would be why._

Clary went and had a shower after they had finished breakfast. Despite trying to put on a brave face for her two friends, her body still felt achy and her eyes were scratchy and her head was thumping. When she ran her fingers through her hair and over her skull, there was a slight bump and then her lower lip quivered as she remembered Jace from last night...Again.

He was drunk.

He was high.

And he was upset.

She wasn't the type of girl who used alcohol and drugs as an excuse, because she had been using them both for years, and she knew that unless you were completely out of your head as in passing out drunk, you were still aware of what you were doing on some level. And she knew Jace well, and she knew how much he could drink and how much he could smoke or take before he was completely fucked, and she was almost one hundred percent certain that he wasn't at that point last night.

Even so, she knew that there were extenuating circumstances last night, given the six year anniversary of Celine's death.

So she was willing to overlook what had happened, or at least forgive what he had done, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to take some time for herself to lick her wounds. Clary ran the shower scorching hot, stepping inside and then sitting down on the floor, resting her head backwards against the cold tiling of the shower. She took in a deep breath through her nose as the water dampened her hair, turning the red strands darker and sticking to her eye lashes and running down her nose.

She was still trying to figure out what it was that hurt more; when Jace had physically lashed out at her, or when Jace had gone upstairs with Kaelie, effectively choosing her over Clary.

In the end, it didn't matter _which_ one hurt most.

The tears were still burning down her face, and her stomach was still twisting like she was going to throw up.

After she spent nearly half an hour in the shower, she dragged herself out, drying her hair as best as she could with her towel and walking to her bedroom. She could hear Simon and Izzy watching TV in the lounge, and she changed into a pair of leggings and a jersey before going out to join them.

"What the _fuck_?" Clary cried out in surprise as she saw her two friends on the couch.

Tangled up in each other and making out and definitely not watching TV.

"Oh, shit!" Izzy cried out, pushing at Simon to try and get him off her, and succeeding in managing to push him right off the couch.

"Oof!" Simon grunted, blinking blearily and rubbing at the base of his spine where he had fallen on the ground. They stared up at her, both of them looking guilty and a little mussed up, and Clary couldn't help but let out a snort, despite how crappy she was feeling.

"When did this happen?" She asked, waving a hand between the two of them.

"Um..." Isabelle ran her hands through her hair, trying to flatten it down. "Last night...After you went to sleep." Clary rolled her eyes, but in all honesty, she was just happy that Simon finally seemed to make a move.

"This is totally okay with me, but I don't approve of the fact that you guys were getting it on in my bed while I was bawling my eyes out," she told them both as she came over to sit on the couch next to Isabelle and then shuffled over to make room for Simon as well. "And you guys so better not defile this couch, because this is my favourite couch." Isabelle let out a laugh, and then threw her arm around her best friend, drawing her in for a tight hug as they watched the movie playing on TV.

* * *

When Jace had gotten home, the whole place was silent, and he assumed that everyone was crashed out and trying to sleep off their hangovers, which he totally understood. He stumbled down the hallway and to his bed, pushing his jeans back off and then falling asleep the second he hit his mattress. He woke up a few hours later, fumbling around in the pocket of his jeans that were on the floor beside his bed, pulling out his phone and squinting at the time. It said that it was a little after twelve, and he sighed, knowing that he should probably get up and have something to eat. He found a pair of sweatpants and then walked out to the lounge.

"Hey," he grunted over to Jordan, who was lounging on one of the couches, looking surprisingly okay after a night spent partying. He nodded a greeting over to him, not saying anything as he went back to playing PlayStation. Jace turned on the coffee machine and then slumped over the counter, bracing his elbows and dropping his head into his hands and drawing in a sharp breath through his nose.

"Feeling okay there, man?" Alec asked quietly from behind him, and Jace let out a groan in response.

"Yeah, just...I need some coffee and food, and then I'll be good," Jace mumbled, still not opening his eyes as he waited for the coffee machine to finish. He heard Alec walked past him, probably joining the other boy in the lounge. The coffee machine flicked off about a minute later and he rubbed at his eyes before moving slowly around the kitchen to get himself a cup and then some milk. He poured the coffee into his cup, added the milk, and then took a long sip. He felt better as the caffeine inched through his veins and he put on a couple slices of toast. Magnus came out a few minutes later, and Jace raised an eyebrow in surprise as the man walked straight past him without acknowledging him.

He must've had an even harder night than Jace.

"Move over," Magnus grumbled to Alec, who shuffled over on the large arm chair he was in, and Magnus collapsed down next to him, curling his body around Alec's easily as though it was something that they always did. Jace watched the pair of them, a small smile on his face. He was glad that they had finally worked through their shit—or at least, he assumed that they had worked through their shit. He hoped that they weren't just sleeping together and not talking about how they felt, because everyone knew that these two were head over heels for one another.

The instant that thought went through his head, his mind flitted across to the red head that he was sleeping with.

And whom he most definitely was at least partly in love with.

What he felt for her was more than just a little bit confusing.

The smile dropped off his face and he stared down at the dark liquid in his cup.

He didn't remember too much about last night, but he did know that he saw Clary at some point. He vaguely remembered talking to her, but Kaelie was there at the same time, and that made his stomach turn over. Sure, they had an understanding that what they had wasn't exclusive, but they never made a show of who they slept with in front of the other person. If they were at a party together, they seemed to be able to feel out with each other quite early on if they were going to be going home together, or with other people. If it was decided they were going home with someone else, they would give one another some room. Jace had seen Clary making out with this guy once, sitting on a kitchen table with her legs wrapped around his waist, and his vision had misted red—he had learnt pretty quickly he couldn't stand seeing her kissing or touching anyone else.

Whatever had gone down last night, Jace had ended up with Kaelie for the night, and from what he remembered, Clary had seen them together, and her face had looked pretty upset. He blinked and tried to push back the thought, because he didn't remember the whole situation and he could be completely wrong about it. Either way, though, he was going to make it up to her somehow.

"Any coffee left?" Jordan called up from where he was sitting on the couch.

"Yeah, sure," Jace grabbed out another cup and filled it for Jordan, adding a dash of milk, just how Jordan took it and then took it into the lounge. Jordan gave him a half smile and nod, sipping at it as Jace walked back into the kitchen to butter his toast. Jace picked up his plate of toast and his coffee cup and joined the rest of his room mates in the lounge. Jordan shifted his legs off the couch he was on so that there was room for the golden-haired boy to sit down, and then they all went back to silently watching the TV screen where Jordan was playing PlayStation. His phone went off after about twenty minutes and he cringed when he saw Kaelie's name on the screen, shoving it back into the pocket of his sweatpants. Alec saw the action and licked his lips before deciding to say something.

"So how are you doing?"

"Fine?" Jace looked a little confused as he glanced up at his friend. Alec nodded a few times, eyes drifting back to the TV and then over to Jace again. Jace frowned, and then realized that his friend probably meant how he was feeling in general, not just with the hangover, given it was the anniversary of his mothers passing. "Uh, yeah," Jace cleared his throat. "I'm fine."

"How much do you remember about last night?" Jordan asked, in a voice that implied he was really asking something else, even though that wasn't what his words were saying.

"Enough, I guess," Jace shrugged with one shoulder, remembering getting to the party at Kaelie's, having a few drinks, popping a few molly, dancing with a couple of people and then going to bed with Kaelie. He didn't remember much of what had happened once he was in Kaelie's bedroom, but there were a couple of scratches on his shoulders and the fact that he had woken up without any clothes on and a condom wrapper on the ground next to him, he could definitely put together what had happened. "Hey, where's Simon?"

"He was sober driver for Clary and Izzy," Alec muttered. "He stayed at their place last night."

"And he didn't come back to pick you guys up?" Jace raised an eyebrow in confusion. Simon was usually the most conscientious of them all when it was his turn to be sober driver. "How did you guys get back?"

"We took a cab," Jordan answered. Through all of this, Jace noticed that Magnus was still silent. The Indonesian man had his arms crossed over his chest, legs slung over Alec's lap, and was staring resolutely ahead at the TV, even though out of all of them in the house, Magnus was the least interested in any type of video game. The room fell quiet again, but there was a tension that Jace couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Look, guys," he began, hoping to reassure them. "I am okay—with the anniversary and everything," he gave them a lop-sided smile. And that was the truth. It used to be that he would just drink in his room and not leave, but with every passing year, it had gotten easier, the pain was a little duller. And even though the day itself was still hard, it wasn't a pain that made him want to stay in his bedroom for the whole weekend anymore. So after getting plastered and high last night, he wasn't feeling bad today.

"Well, I'm glad _you're_ doing okay," Magnus finally spoke, and his words were laced with snark. Jace was taken aback, turning in his seat on the couch and looking over at his roommate.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jace asked, his voice a little hostile to match the tone that was coming off his friend. Alec frowned a little and nudged Magnus in the ribs, and the other man pursed his lips together, as though to force himself from speaking again. Jace looked between Magnus, Alec and Jordan, all of them wearing similar tense expressions on their faces. "What's going on?" He asked, the question directed to all of them. There was quite for a little longer before Alec cleared his throat.

"You were kind of an asshole last night," he mumbled, glancing over at him through his thick eyelashes.

" _Kind of_?!" Magnus snorted before whipping his head to glare over at Jace. "You fucking shoved Clary away when she was trying to help you." Jace's face paled and his eyes went wide.

"What?"

"Yeah, uh," Jordan let out a sigh. "Look, she's fine. Everything's fine. You just...You'll need to apologize, bro." Jace was already pulling his phone out and scrolling through his contacts.

" _Not_ now," Alec surged forward and snatched Jace's phone off him. "Not yet. Give her a little bit of space, and then maybe go over there, rather than calling her. I think this is more of a face to face thing." Jace's eyes flickered between them, swallowing hard before jerking his head in a nod, his body still tense with the knowledge that he had hurt Clary.

 _Right! So the movie I definitely recommend this time around is_ Gifted _with Chris Evans. It's amazing, both me and my hubby got a little teary in it. And_ Hacksaw Ridge, _which honestly deserved every award and nomination it received, I got pretty teary in that one as well._ Also _on the movie related topic, I should have mentioned it earlier, but I've been watching the_ American Assassin _trailer on repeat pretty much since it came out! Dylan O'Brien is just...Ashffnjpff. Beautiful. Lol._

 _Shifting onto music, we got tickets to go to Ed Sheeran! It's, like, a year away, but I'm soooo psyched. He was absolutely incredible last time I saw him live, and I can't wait to go again. And a song I would recommend would be_ Glitter and Gold _by Barns Courtney and both_ Hold On _and_ Homeland _by Chord Overstreet. Heard it on Lea Michele's snapchat and I had to look it up as soon as I got home, and I can't believe he's still singing! I absolutely loved Sam in Glee, and he's still got such a beautiful voice._

 _Anyway! Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Loved it, hated it, your favourite part...Leave a review, and let me know xx_


	17. Chapter 17

Things were a little awkward as the next few days went by.

The boys were giving him space, and he knew that part of that was because of what week it was, because Saturday had been his mothers deaths anniversary and he always wanted space around that time, but a lot of it was to do with Clary.

When Simon had come home on Sunday night, Jace had asked him how Clary was. Simon was giving off a similar vibe as Magnus, pretty pissed off, and he had just said that Clary was fine, and that he should just give her some space. Jace sighed, going to his room and sending her off a text, asking if they could meet up. He half expected her not to text him back, but she had replied, saying that she was pretty busy over the next few days, and that she would let him know when she was free. If the other night hadn't happened, that reply would be completely normal for them, but now he was over-analyzing it. He had sent another text, asking if she was okay, and she hadn't replied to that one.

Two days went by, and every time Jace text Clary, she had responded back—which he was grateful for—but she never kept the conversation going for very long, and she deflected every time he asked if he could come over, coming up with excuses or just not texting back at all.

Simon had been going over each day that week, and Alec had said that it seemed as though Simon and Isabelle had finally hooked up, and so Jace had been asking his roommate how Clary was. Simon had just muttered that she was Clary, so she would be fine, but he wasn't offering too much more than that. On the Thursday, Jace decided to just go over to the girls place. He knocked on the front door and shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling nervous.

"Simon!" Came a squeal that quickly cut off as the door opened and Izzy saw him standing there. To her credit, she didn't glare at him or give him any dirty looks, although her smile definitely faded when she realized that it wasn't Simon on the doorstep. "Jace...Hey."

"Hey, is Clary here?" Jace asked, getting straight to the point.

"Um, no," Izzy replied, shaking her head. "She's not here." Jace narrowed his eyes a little, trying to figure out if Isabelle was lying to cover for her friend, or if the red head indeed wasn't in the house. Izzy seemed to know what he was doing and her face softened a little. "She's not here, Jace," she repeated quietly. "She's at her mums."

"Right," Jace jerked his head in a nod. "Do you know when she's going to be back? I keep texting her and asking if I can come over and talk to her..." he drifted off, realizing that he sounded like a clingy boyfriend. He let out a long sigh through clenched teeth and rubbed his hand over his face. "Sorry. I just—I just really need to speak with her." Isabelle leaned forward and rubbed his arm comfortingly.

"She's not angry with you, Jace," Isabelle said in a soft voice. "She's just hurt."

"Well, she's got every right to be fucked off at me," Jace grunted, his eyes turned downward.

"So you remember what happened that night?" She continued to speak in a quiet tone.

"Yeah," Jace rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tic he had had since he was little. "I didn't really remember anything until Alec told me what happened. But then it all came back to me. I was just...I was strung out, and the boys had just kept asking me if I was okay that day, and I had kept telling them that I was fine, and that I didn't want to talk about it, and when I got to the party that night, all I want to do was get plastered and forget what day it was." Isabelle made a noise of understanding in the back of her throat, nodding at him to continue. "I don't even remember what made me snap, I just remember getting really frustrated that everyone seemed to be babying me, and then I felt so... _Crowded_ , and so I lashed out at whoever it was who was standing next to me at the time."

"Which was Clary...Because she seems to be the only one you ever want around you when you're upset," Isabelle sighed and it made Jace's heart ache in his chest that his friends had just been trying to do the best thing for him. "Look, she'll be okay."

"Yeah, that's what she keeps telling me," Jace growled, not sounding particularly happy. "I'm pretty sure that's bullshit though."

"Okay, well, maybe she won't just be 'okay'," Isabelle shrugged. "But she'll be okay enough to let you talk to her. Just give her a bit of space."

"That's what everyone keeps saying!" Jace snapped in annoyance.

"Yeah, and so did you ever think that maybe we're right?!" Isabelle narrowed her eyes a little bit at him, her voice getting sharper, and Jace knew better than to piss off the dark haired girl. She could be scarier than Clary sometimes when she was in a bad mood. Isabelle sighed and took in another deep breath. "Jace. Clary and you...What you have is completely fucked up. You guys need to figure something out, because when one of you hurts the other, it's not just friends hurting one another, it's something else. But then it's not the same as a boyfriend or girlfriend hurting each other, because you guys haven't admitted what you mean to each other yet, so you can't work it out that way either." Jace knew Isabelle was right. Everything she was saying were things that he had already thought of before. "I _know_ you care about Clary, but if you don't care about her in _that_ way, then maybe you should stop this. _All_ of this," Isabelle chewed down on the side of her tongue nervously, waiting for Jace's response. He was staring at his feet again, shifting from side to side, hands curled into fists in his pockets.

"I _do_ care about her like that," Jace finally said, his voice rough.

"Then why the fuck are you guys still carrying on like you're casual fuck buddies? When you clearly aren't?" Isabelle pushed.

"I don't..." Jace's shoulders slumped forward. "I don't know," he admitted. Isabelle seemed satisfied with that for now, and she reached forward to give him a hug.

"Sort it out, okay?" She whispered against his ear. "Sort it out in your head, and then she's ready to see you, you guys can talk through it." Jace nodded as he hugged her back. They stepped back after a few minutes and Jace gave her a tight smile.

"Love you, Iz," he muttered.

"Yeah, yeah," Izzy gave him a lop sided smile. "Love you too."

* * *

Jace's family seemed pretty good until he was about eleven. His dad wasn't around all that much, but he was okay with that, because his mum was awesome and always let him have his friends over. She was a great cook, and she always seemed happy, and then when his dad was around, things seemed good then as well. They would toss a football around in the backyard, or Stephen would take Jace and Alec out to the movies. It seemed to change though, as he became a teenager.

Stephen was around even less, and when he was home, he was in a bad mood, sometimes drunk, and he would almost always go to the shower before he hugged Celine 'hello'. Celine became withdrawn, and Jace stopped inviting his friends over to his place, because she always smelt like booze in the middle of the day, and she was bitter and snarky. As Jace got older, he realized that Stephen was cheating on Celine—over and over again—and Celine didn't know what to do with herself. Jace didn't understand why his father would do this, to his beautiful, loving mother, who was slowing self-destructing as the days went by. But no matter how bad things had gotten, the shouting and the screaming when both of his parents were home, and the drunken haze that Celine was constantly in, Jace had never thought that she would...Kill herself.

Jace had had no idea what to do with himself, and it was only his friends—especially Clary—who had kept him going.

The school made him see counselors, who didn't particularly help but he went to anyway, and as soon as he turned eighteen and was legally an adult, he moved out of home and in with the Lightwoods. They welcomed him in, treating him like another son, and Jace didn't look back, not uttering a single word to Stephen since. He was so angry, at his father and his mother; his father for cheating and destroying Celine's self esteem, at Celine for taking the easy way out and leaving him alone.

But it had been six years.

Six years, and he couldn't keep holding Clary at a distance because of fear of something that would probably never happen to them. It wasn't a certainty—no one could guarantee that they wouldn't hurt each other beyond repair one day—but after everything they had already been through, she deserved to have him open up to her fully.

And now it was just a matter of time.

Because Clary was still dodging his questions about him coming over to see her, and Jace was trying to do what everyone kept telling him to do, which was giving her space.

So now it was Friday night, and all of the boys, minus Simon, were in the lounge, pizza on the table and beers in their hands as they watched _Mad Max: Fury Road._ Magnus had seemed to relent a little, and wasn't glaring at Jace every time they were in the same room as each other, and Alec and Jordan weren't talking to him in short sentences as though holding a discussion was the last thing in the world they wanted to do. So it wasn't _too_ awkward.

"Do we save any of this pizza for Simon?" Jordan grunted as he blew out a long stream of hazy smoke from his joint into the air. "Because I'm still starving."

"Dude, you already finished a whole pizza by yourself, and a carton of chips, _and_ one of the garlic breads!" Alec protested.

"Shut up," Jordan grumbled, rolling his bloodshot eyes. He passed the joint over to Jace, who didn't take a puff, handing it straight over to Alec. He doubted that Clary was going to text him, but just in case she did, he had only had one beer and was staying away from the weed, so that he would be okay to drive.

"Simon probably won't be back tonight," Magnus piped up. "Iz picked him up about an hour ago, think they were going out for dinner or something."

"Sweet," Jordan grinned and lunged forward, snatching up another slice and practically inhaling it. Alec's phone starting ringing and he shifted on the couch so that he could pull the phone out of his back pocket, raising an eyebrow when he saw the Caller ID before swiping his thumb across the screen.

"Hello?" He began, and the boys all kept their attention on screen, uninterested in Alec's conversation. "Wait, what...Hold on!" Alec's voice was suddenly worried and he shot up where he was sitting, his back ramrod straight and the hand that was still resting on his lap tensing into a fist. "Clary, what's wrong? Where are you?!" Jace, Jordan and Magnus all frowned, now all looking at the dark haired boy. "Clary...Okay. We'll be there." He fell silent again, his lips coming together and the colour draining from his face. He hung up the phone, taking in a harsh breath through his nose.

"Alec?" Magnus reached out to touch his lovers arm.

"We need to get to the hospital," Alec's voice was taunt. "Izzy and Simon were in a car crash."

 _Now, my favourite songs at the moment are_ No Promises _by Cheat Codes and Demi Lovato,_ Hold On For Your Life _by Sam Tinnesz (holy shit, yes, so many times_ yes _, I absolutely love this song) and also_ Unsteady _by X-Ambassadors. With_ Unsteady _, I also completely push you to go onto Youtube and search the song and then 'DanceOn' to watch the dance video. Holy shit. My heart. Every. Single. Time. I watch this video. So give that a watch and let me know what you think :)_

 _The latest movies I've seen are_ John Wick 2 _...Not a fan of Keanu Reeves, but I fucking love these movies...And then the latest_ Pirates of the Caribbean _. I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but me and my hubby were very happy with the end. We were like, if just one thing happened, we would be happy. And then it happened! Also watched_ Miss Sloane _. I absolutely love Mark Strong, and although I'm not the biggest fan of Jessica Chastain, she did an amazing job. And then, holy shit, and then_ Wonder Woman _. Omg. The DCEU finally did it! This was such an incredible movie! I've been in love with Gal Gadot for years and she did such an amazing job!_

 _Have any of you guys watched_ Famous In Love _? I'm really not a fan of Bella Thorne, but I've heard that the show is pretty good. Anyone watched it? Let me know if it's worth checking out? Ooh, and a special shout out to reppinda5o3 for watching_ Riverdale _and also lima17 for watching_ Sense8 _! More people to fangirl with. And also to Caaatttt for getting tickets to Ed Sheeran! Yeeeeah, girl! Just a year away, but we got this ;)_

 _OMG, and props to President Macron and his winning handshake ;) I'm loving the memes that have come out of that. Along with the meme's that have come out of 'covfefe'._

 _Also, a lot of people have been asking me about stories that I'm planning on writing, or posting in the future around Clace. If you want to talk about those or just generally fangirl with me, send me a message :)_

 _Leave a review, let me know what you think xx_


	18. Chapter 18

_We've got a bit of drama in this one...So...Here we go..._

The car was silent on the way to the hospital, which was on the other side of town. Jace drove, Alec in the front seat, and then Jordan and Magnus in the back seat. Jordan and Alec were both pretty stoned, but the windows were rolled all the way down, and the worry that they were feeling for Isabelle and Simon was bringing them back to sobriety quickly. Magnus hadn't been smoking, but he had had quite a few beers, and his arms were crossed over his chest, sucking back almost a whole bottle of water to try and sober himself up on their way to the hospital. Jace's foot was pressing down harder on the accelerator, going as fast as he could without the risk of getting pulled over because that would only slow them down more.

"I'll call Clary," Jace said as he parked him car up in the emergency car park and turned off the engine. "And find out which entry way to go to." Alec nodded, but he was already getting out of the car and Jace suspected that he hadn't actually heard what he had said. Not that he blamed him, they all loved Simon and Izzy, and Alec looked as though he was going to go into all full in panic mode when they were driving over. Alec practically sprinted up toward the hospital, and the boys all ran after him, trying to keep up. Jace's phone was still ringing when Alec shoved open the door to the emergency room, his head whipping from side to side before he pushed his way past a couple of drunk people with bloody arms and faces, probably some bar brawl, and slammed his hands down on the front desk.

"Isabelle Sophia Lightwood," his words came out in a rush, the nurse behind the desk looking up at him with a raised eyebrow. "She was brought in about half an hour ago. She was in a car accident. She's my sister. I need—"

"Alec," Jordan's voice was quiet, but there was something in his tone that made Alec press his lips together and whirl around to look toward his friends. Jordan nodded his head at something to their right. The waiting room was filled with people and there was no one that Alec recognized sitting there, but on the far side there were a pair of double doors that lead through to what Alec assumed was where the doctors took the patients. Clary was standing in the doorway that lead through to the emergency rooms. She looked tiny, her arms folded tightly in front of her and her head dipped down so that her chin was resting against her chest. Her shoulders were shaking and Jace was already running over to where she was standing. Alec took in a shaky breath as he watched the two of them before walking over slowly, his steps jaunty.

"Clary," Jace put his hands on her shoulders, shaking her lightly, bending his knees to try and see her face which was obscured by the curtain of her hair. "Clary, what's going on? Where are Simon and Izzy? Are you okay? Are _they_ okay?" Clary didn't say anything for a long few moments, the boys all surrounding her and Alec bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently, a lump in his throat threatening to cut off his airway.

"Clary!" Alec snapped, his body wound tight. "Where's my sister?!" She finally lifted her head, her face completely pale and her green eyes wide with a sheen of tears over them, and she looked as though she was going to try and say something when they were interrupted.

"Excuse me," came a soft voice from behind him, and the boys all looked up at a doctor who had blood staining the muted green scrubs that he was wearing. "The desk nurse said you were asking about Isabelle Lightwood." Alec's swallowed hard as he took in the amount of blood that was on the doctors scrubs. On his hands. The doctor took in a deep breath through his nose, looking over Alec's shoulder to Clary, and it made Alec turn around. There was a thundering in his ears as he realized that whatever it was that had frozen her before, Jace had broken through, and her legs were buckling underneath her, falling toward their golden haired friend.

"Wh..." he could barely make the words come out. "Where's my sister?" His words were a rasp, and he felt Magnus put his hand on his lower back. The doctor had an empathetic expression on his face, but there was a weary, practiced look in his eyes.

"I'm very sorry, I'm afraid that Ms Lightwood was dead on arrival—" the doctors words were abruptly drained out, the roaring in Alec's ears suddenly becoming so loud, and his sense of balance disappearing as he stumbled to the side, the only thing stopping him from hitting the ground was Magnus and Jordan. They helped him over to a seat, one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, and the vision in front of his eyes was spotting and the lump in his throat was making breathing impossible.

"Alec...Alec..." Magnus' breath was against his ear, so he knew that Magnus was standing right there, but his voice sounded far away, and muffled, like he was stuck in a bubble and everyone else was outside.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," Clary's dam seemed to break, as though the news was just sinking in, and then there was a piercing scream from the red head, and Jordan and Magnus looked over at her as she crumbled to the ground. Jace lowered himself to the ground with her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her in close. Magnus knew tears were running down his face as well, his chest tight as he watched Clary smack her hands against Jace's chest in frustration. "No, no, no, _no, no_ ," she just kept repeating, her voice broken and her entire body shaking. Magnus and Jordan shared a look over Alec's head, the pair of them both looking as heart broken as each other, before Magnus sat down next to Alec and rubbed his hand up and down his back.

"There was..." Jordan's voice broke off with a crack, and he swallowed hard, rubbing his hand over his head before continuing. "There was a guy in the car with him, Simon Lewis." The doctor eyed him for a moment, probably taking in the his bloodshot eyes and the smell of marijuana on his breath. "Please, we're all...We're his family." The doctor glanced over at Clary, who was sobbing loudly, only a little muffled by Jace's shirt from where he was holding his face against her shoulder, and then Alec, who looked completely shell-shocked, staring at the ground and huffing out short, quick breaths.

"He's in surgery," the doctor said quietly. "The car was hit on the passenger side, which is why Ms Lightwood bore the brunt of the force. Mr Lewis still sustained some severe injuries, and we will not be able to comment on his situation until he is out of surgery." Jordan nodded, gnawing down on his lower lip and then scratching the side of his face.

It was clear that Alec and Clary weren't going to be able to do anything right now, which was completely understandable, but it meant that calling Simon's family was going to fall to Jordan, Jace or Magnus.

Jordan then realized that there was another phone call that they were going to need to make.

To the Lightwoods.

* * *

It had been a drunk driver who had hit the car that Isabelle and Simon had been in. He hadn't been wearing a seat belt and he was killed in the impact as well, his head going right through the windshield of the car. Jace wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse, because the man had gotten the easy way out. They found out from the police this was not his first offence, he had been pulled over for drunk driving several times before and had lost his licence for six months about a year ago.

Maryse Lightwood had been screaming her head off in the police station when they had found that out, lashing out at the officer in charge of the investigation, saying that if they had done their jobs properly and kept the man off the road, then her daughter would still be alive. Alec and Robert Lightwood had to fight to get her under control, hold her back while her screams faded into sobs.

Simon was still in a coma, although the doctors had said that they were positive about him making a recovery. He was in a serious but stable condition. His mother and sister had barely left the hospital room, and Jace, Magnus and Jordan were all taking turns to spend time with them, making sure they always had food and coffee, and so that Simon was never alone when his mother and sister needed to go home to shower and change their clothes.

The boys home was a mess.

They were all stuck in a shell shocked state.

Dishes and fast food boxes had been piling up on the benches and the table in the lounge. The windows and curtains had barely been opened, and so the whole place smelt like weed and musty air. Hodge had come over three days after the accident and when Jace had mumbled that they were fine, thank you for his concern, and no they didn't need anything. Hodge had just ignored the younger boy and pushed his way inside. He moved around the kitchen, filling rubbish bags with the pizza and Chinese boxes from the food they had been eating, washing the dishes and cleaning down the benches. Then he mopped the sticky floors, and vacuumed and tidied up the lounge.

Alec had been spending most of his time across town, at his parents house, with Maryse and Robert, and his younger brother, Max Lightwood. He came home for a few hours in the afternoon on the second day after the accident, Magnus packing him up some clothes and then taking him back to his parents. Magnus didn't come back that night, so it was assumed that he stayed with his boyfriend to comfort him.

Clary was staying at the boys place as well, and she had barely left Jace's room, except to go to the bathroom and shower. Jace wasn't sure if she wanted space, or if she wanted comfort, because she just had this glassy look in her eyes whenever he looked over at her, as though she wasn't registering anything. He practically had to force her to eat, and even then, she was only swallowing the bare minimum before falling back into the cocoon of blankets on his bed, burying her face in his pillow. Between sleeping and crying, she hadn't said much, and Jace felt helpless as he watched her shrink into herself.

The three boys were trying to function, organize things like getting them all time of work, helping Simon's mother and sister and also the Lightwoods, but the night before the funeral, they all got drunk and stoned, and Jace got angry and smashed his hands through one of the windows in the lounge.

Jace and Magnus had talked about how Simon wasn't going to be able to make it to the funeral, and that it didn't feel right that he wouldn't be able to get the same closure that they would. But it wasn't their choice to make, and they understood that the longer the Lightwoods put it off, the harder it was.

The morning of the funeral, they had no idea what they were meant to do with Clary. She still wasn't functioning properly, and they needed to get her dressed. So Jace had called Jocelyn, who had been comingover to visit her daughter to try and coax her out of her frozen state each day. Jocelyn brought over clothes and brushed her hair, and did her make up, and then they all went to the funeral together.

 _I haven't really watched any movies since I last updated, but I've been binging this TV show called_ Bitten _, recommended by the lovely reppinda5o3, who has now moved on from recommending fics to TV shows! I'd be lost without her. It's not award winning or anything, but I really wanted another werewolf show to watch, and so it definitely scratched that itch. If that's the sort of thing you're into, definitely check it out if you haven't already._

 _On the music side of things, I've had_ Crying in the Club _by Camila Cabello on repeat for, like, the past week. I fucking loooooove it. I was never a fan of Fifth Harmony, but I absolutely adore this song. Also_ Power of Love _by Gabrielle Aplin, which I heard ages ago, but then I heard it on something recently and put it back on my phone and have just had it playing everyday on the way to and from work. It's just...It's just so pretty and makes my heart ache just a little._

 _Also on the subject of music, the One Love Manchester concert that Ariana Grande got together...All of those artists coming together and so quickly after the horrible event was beautiful. My heart went out to Ariana, she was really having a hard time holding it together. And Miley Cyrus was a beautiful human, as per usual. A lot of people are trying to drag the event through the mud, saying that worse things happen all the time, saying that she is just doing it for attention...Come on, just accept a nice, good thing. Our world is full of shit, horrible things, we have to love and accept the good when it comes along xx_

 _Anyway! Please make sure you leave a few words, let me know what you guys thought of the chapter. Just a couple of words make the hard work worth it! And make sure to let me know if you want a preview xx_


	19. Chapter 19

_Hey, guys! A little bit of a lengthy AN here, sorry. So, as we all know, real life unfortunately has to come first, even if I would love to just binge watch my favourite shows, with my kitties and my hubby, and type away all day. Anyway, I've gotten a new job, which I start in a few weeks time, and the hours are a lot better than the one I'm doing now, but it will take some adjusting to, and learning all new stuff, which means my brain will be a little fried at the end of the day. Also, there's some problems with my husband and his job, and recently a friend's younger brother committed suicide, which has caused a few stresses with my group of friends._

 _Bottom line is that my updating is going to be changing a little, just for the next few months, hopefully, until everything has evened back out again. So any stories that are on my regular updating schedule will be getting updated once a month, and any that aren't on the regular schedule, well, they'll be updated every few months._

 _Sorry about this guys, but that's just the way life goes some time. I appreciate your understanding and love xx_

Jace hadn't been to many funerals.

When he was younger, there were a couple of funerals for distant relatives, but after going to his mothers funeral in his teens, he refused to go to anymore. This was the first one since Celine's, and it was for someone who was almost as important to him. He hadn't cried yet—he had gotten angry and he had shouted, and he hadn't been able to go to sleep when Clary was shaking and whimpering next to him—but he hadn't cried.

It wasn't until Isabelle's coffin was being lowered into the ground that the tears began to drip from his eyes, down his cheeks.

They were in the cemetery, and it was the middle of the day, the sun shining down for them in a pathetically joyful way. The funeral was large, Isabelle was a sweetheart and she had lots of friends and people who loved her, there were even a couple of teachers from their school there, even though they had left several years ago. The large picture beside the whole in the ground was a gorgeous one, Isabelle smiling at them widely at them with her hair curled around her face and her lips painted a bright pink, and the longer Jace stared at it, expensive flowers around the frame, the tighter his chest got.

Clary had barely made any movements to reach out to any of them in the past five days since the accident, even when he had climbed into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her, it was like she was just letting him hold her, she didn't try to mold herself into him. But she seemed to sense that he was starting to crumble, maybe just from a hitch in his breathing, because she reached out with icy fingers and linked them through his, her touch comforting as more tears fell down his face.

The boys had assumed that Alec would go back with his parents and his younger brother to their place, but he said goodbye to them at the funeral, before turning around and letting Magnus throw his arms around him. His face was practically white, stark against his dark coloured hair, and his shoulders were shaking as Magnus held him. Jordan and Jace had joined in the hug, although they pulled away a lot sooner than Magnus, the two of them standing there for a long time.

Jocelyn asked Clary if she wanted a ride back to her place, her and Isabelle's place, but Clary's eyes had just gone wide and she had shook her head before shuffling over to join the huddle around Alec. Jocelyn indicated that Jace come over to her with two of her fingers, giving him a quick, motherly hug and a kiss on the cheek before pulling back.

"How are you doing, baby?" She asked softly.

"I'm fine," Jace grunted out, his eyes fixed on the ground.

"That's a lie, and we both know it," Jocelyn murmured as she ran her fingers through his hair and then patted his cheek softly. "But if it makes you feel better, what you're doing for Clary and the rest of the boys is amazing." Jace swallowed hard, still staring at the ground. "I'm serious, Jace. I appreciate what you're doing for my girl, staying strong for her," she glanced over to where Alec and Clary were now hugging, clinging onto each other. "But don't be afraid to let go as well. You loved her just as much as them." Clearly she had seen his tears through the funeral as well, and the warmth that was coming off the woman who had known him for so long just made his eyes watery again. "I'm going to go over and say goodbye to Clary, and then I'm going over to the girls house, I want to make sure the place is all clean and there's nothing going off in the fridge. I don't want her to finally go home and return to a mess."

"Okay," Jace nodded and lifted his head, managing a rough smile. Jocelyn gave him another hug before going over to Clary and the boys. She said something quietly to all of them, giving Alec a hug and then Clary one before turning around to make her way out of the cemetery.

The car was absolutely silent on the way back to the boys house. Hodge had been at the funeral, to pay his respects, but he must have left some time ago, because he was halfway through mowing their lawns. Jace and Jordan paused on their way inside to thank him, and he said that it was fine, he just wanted to help out, they didn't need to worry about simple house keeping when they were mourning.

The next two weeks were all kind of a blur, much like the first few days after the accident.

Alec and Clary still hadn't returned to work, neither of them leaving the house very much. Clary would either be in Jace's room, or she would spend the night at Jocelyn's, just wanting the comfort of her mum. Alec was spending most of his time in Magnus' room, although he would sometimes spend time across town at his parents house, trying to comfort them and his brother.

Simon had woken from his coma about a week and a half later, and it was when his sister, Becca Lewis, and Jordan were there, and they were the ones that had to break the news to him about Isabelle. They hadn't wanted to, it had been the plan that Elaine Lightwood would be the one to speak to him, but as soon as he had managed to speak, once the tube had been carefully taken from his throat by one of the nurses, he had been asking about her. Becca had made a little whimpering noise at the back of her throat as she reached out and held her brothers hand, while Jordan falteringly broke the news.

Clary forced herself to go to the hospital to see him, knowing that Simon needed them all there was much as possible, and she had almost had a panic attack when she had first stepped into the building. Jace had gone with her, and he talked to her quietly, not really knowing what he was meant to be doing, but somehow managing to calm her down a little and get her to walk through the blindingly white hallways to his room. As soon as she had seen Simon, looking small and pale in the hospital bed, she had starting sobbing, the pair of them holding each other and crying, sharing their loss.

Jace hated going to work and leaving Clary and Alec alone in the house by themselves, because he was pretty sure they still weren't properly processing anything right now. Alec went three days without showering before Magnus literally dragged him from the bedroom and had to get in the shower with him, the pair of them in there for almost an hour. If it was under any other circumstances, the rest of the room mates would have been laughing and teasing them, but from the dead look in Alec's eyes and the drained expression on Magnus' face, they all knew that this was nothing like it might have been a few weeks ago.

Going into the third week after the accident, Clary sat up silently in Jace's bed. Jace looked over at her, one of his hands resting across his bare chest and the other rubbing comforting circles on her back.

"I need to go home," Clary murmured numbly. Jace's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"As in...To your mums?" He questioned carefully.

"To mine and I—Izzy's home," she stuttered a little over her friends name. "I need to go home," she repeated and Jace nodded slowly.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He kept the volume of his voice low, not wanting to push her into something that she wasn't ready for. Clary didn't say anything for a long time, and Jace had to admit, he was a little hurt even though he knew that he didn't really had a reason to be, but then she nodded her head once.

"Okay," she mumbled. She got out of bed and walked listlessly around her room, picking up some clothes and getting dressed. Jace watched her, his eyes tracking every single one of her movements, as she pulled on the leggings and a baggy, long sleeved sweatshirt that Jace was pretty sure was Alec's. She didn't bother with a bra or brushing her hair, simply jerking it back in a messy ponytail and then crossed her arms over her chest, as though protecting herself, and then turning back to look at Jace. "Could you take me?" She asked quietly and Jace nodded.

"Yeah, sure," he gave her a soft smile, but she just shrugged and walked out of the room, in the direction of the bathroom. Jace sighed as he got up and changed into a clean set of clothing, thankful for the hundredth time for Jocelyn and Hodge. Hodge had been coming over every few days to help with dishes and rubbish, cleaning out their pool twice as well. Jocelyn had been making sure there cupboards and fridge were stocked, and she had done countless loads of washing for them. The pair of them were acting like over-protective, caring parents, and Jace knew that he wasn't the only thankful one in the house. When he had finished changing, he went out to the lounge to wait for Clary, and she came out of the bathroom, her face freshly scrubbed and her teeth brushed and she gave him a nod. The house was empty, the boys were all at work other than Alec, who was at his parents, so Jace locked the front door as they left.

On the drive over to Clary and Isabelle's, Clary looked as though she was ready to tell Jace to turn around a couple of times, but she purposefully stayed quiet, her lips pressed together, bloodless. Jocelyn had been bringing her over clothes for the past few weeks, and she had kept the place clean and tidy for her daughter when she returned. Jace parked up on the right, at the curb, and turned off the engine. When he looked over at the house, he was surprised at the lump in his own throat.

He didn't think seeing their house was going to affect him like that.

"We don't have to do this," Jace managed to say. Clary took in a deep shaky breath and then looked over at him, forcing out a tight smile.

"I need to," she told him. Jace nodded and got out of the car. Clary lead the way up to the house, although her steps were a little jerky and there was tension in the arch of her neck. She unlocked the door and then rested her hand on the door handle, her fingers curling until her knuckles were white. Jace chewed down on his bottom lip and then rested his hand on her lower back, rubbing up and down comfortingly, not saying anything. After a few minutes, she pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Jocelyn had been doing a good job at keeping the place aired out, it didn't smell musty and pent up as though there had been no one living there for three weeks, so she must have been making sure it was getting aired out regularly. Nothing looked different, maybe just a little tidier than the girls had kept it, and Jace's eyes went straight away to the purple sofa in the lounge to his right, a couch that Isabelle had insisted was the best thing since sliced bread, and his chest tightened.

"I..." Clary sniffed and ducked her head as she looked around. "I just need to go to the bathroom." Jace nodded, walking into the lounge and standing awkwardly in the middle. Usually he felt as comfortable here as he felt in his own place, but it just wasn't the same. There was art work on the walls from Clary, and then huge posters and fancy photographs that Isabelle had brought and framed. There were bright colours from mismatched furniture, knick knacks and cushions in the room, and photos of mainly the two girls, but also of their friends and family all around the room.

Jace took in a sharp breath, and then frowned when he heard a muffled noise from down the hallway.

He walked down the hallway to the bathroom door and heard Clary's sobs. They were heart wrenching, heaving sobs that were leaving her breathless and making her gasp for air and Jace felt his own eyes welling with tears just hearing her heartbreak, his stomach feeling as though it had fallen out from his body. His hands were shaking as he tried the handle of the bathroom, but it was locked. Jace slumped down against the bathroom door, tears trekking down his face, and he lost track of how long they both cried for their friend.

 _The songs I would recommend this time around are_ The Other Side _by Ruelle,_ Unpredictable _by Olly Murs and_ Professional Rapper _by Little Dicky—watch the video for this one as well! I've got tickets to go see the new Spiderman movie this Friday! Pretty psyched about it. And on the subject of Zendaya, have you guys seen the trailer for_ The Greatest Showman _? Holy shit, she looks fucking gorgeous in it, the whole trailer does, really. Even by hubby thinks it looks amazing._

 _Let me know what you guys think of the chapter, and feel free to recommend songs or any fics :) xx_


	20. Chapter 20

_Alright—an update! It feels like forever, updating only once a month is so weird! I will get back to a more regular updating schedule soon, I just really need to adjust to my new working life. So on with the next chapter..._

Another month went by, a total of six weeks since the accident.

Simon had been discharged from the hospital and was returning to work.

Alec was still very wooden, spending a lot of his time at his parents place, with Max.

Magnus tried to be there for Alec, but he was finding it difficult when Alec barely wanted to speak to anyone.

Jordan and Maia were officially going steady, and she had been helping a lot with keeping him on his feet.

Jace was mourning the loss of Isabelle mainly in silence, not letting himself cry again the day after he had taken Clary back to her house.

And Clary had gone back to work.

The day that Jace had brought Clary back to her place, she had asked him to leave, not to stay with her. He had looked a little hurt and conflicted, but she had had insisted that she would be fine, she just wanted to be alone. Then she had curled up in her bed, wrapped in Isabelle's favourite purple bathrobe that had been hanging on the back of the bathroom door. She faded in and out of sleep, and it wasn't until her mother had come around to the house the next day, probably alerted by Jace, that she properly woke up. Jocelyn had climbed into bed with her and wrapped her arms around her, cradling her daughter to her chest and whispering comforting words into her hair.

All Clary wanted to do was stay in bed, clinging to Isabelle's bathrobe that smelt like her best friends perfume and hairspray.

Jocelyn had let her stay in bed for the rest of the day, bringing her food and drink and running a bath for her and filling it with smelling salts. But the next morning, she had woken her up and dragged her out of bed, saying that it was time to brush her own hair, and put on some make up, and get some sun. Clary had resented her at first, but she knew what Jocelyn had said was right.

The next step was going back to work.

The owners of the cafe had loved Isabelle, they had also been at the funeral, and they had been more than understanding about giving Clary time off. They were obviously relieved when she had come back though, however when she had seen they had already hired someone to take Isabelle's place, she had frozen on the spot. It was completely within their right and with Clary having weeks off as well, they clearly needed someone else to help, but it was still a shock to see someone else doing Isabelle's job. The girl was their niece, Aline Penhallow, was nice enough, but Clary wasn't quite ready to start making new friends yet.

Clary wasn't particularly ready to be facing customers either, so she spent most of her time in the kitchen, making the meals and doing the dishes. Aline didn't seem to mind, greeting the customers and taking the orders. After a week or so went by, Clary responded a little more to Aline's friendly advances. Aline was only going to be here for a few months, because she was going to be attending University of California LA, and so she was just helping out her grandparents and saving some money until then. She had already completed two years of her degree, but she had taken the last semester off.

Clary still hadn't gone into Isabelle's room.

* * *

Jace missed Clary.

A ridiculous amount.

He had been sitting outside her house for the past couple of minutes, trying to gather the courage to go up to the door. Her car was parked in the driveway but the windows were all shut, giving off the appearance that she wasn't home. They hadn't properly talked since the day he had brought her back home, because she hadn't been back to the boys house since. They had all gone out for burgers the other night, and Magnus had made sure Alec was there, and Jordan and Maia had made sure Clary was there, but the whole thing had been a little stilted and uncomfortable, no one really knowing what it was they were meant to say. Usually their dinner would be filled with them laughing and joking, but that just didn't feel right.

It felt too soon.

It had been six weeks, and from everything Jace could remember when Celine had passed, even though he hadn't _wanted_ to be around other people, when he was around them, he did feel better. Or at least, the pain didn't feel as bad.

And for the most part, they were still banding together.

But Clary was falling off the map.

She still text the boys and Simon went over to her house every couple of days, Magnus as well. They said that she was spending a lot of her time at Jocelyn and Luke's house, which was good, it meant that she was getting support, but Jace...Jace just wished that she would try to reach out to him for support as well. He had text her and call her over and over again, but given her lack of response, he decided to let her take it at her own pace. Because he wanted to be there for her. Every time they text each other, it just felt distant. Of course he missed the kissing and the fooling around, but that wasn't the main thing here. He missed _his friend_. He missed her laugh, and the way he always _just felt better_ when she was around, and the easy contact when they were sitting next to each other, slouched on the sofa or laying side by side in his bed, talking.

Things just weren't the same, and he really wasn't sure if they would ever go back.

Jace chewed down on his lower lip and walked up to the front door, rapping his knuckles a couple of times.

"Clary!" He called. "You here?!" He knocked again but there was still no answer. He waited for a few minutes, trying knocking a few more times before he gave up and walked back to his car. He drove home in silence, not even bothering to turn his radio on. When he got out of his car and started walking up the footpath, he saw Hodge crouching near the fence, working on his garden. "Hey, Hodge," he gave a tired smile.

"Afternoon, Jace," Hodge nodded and straightened up, shaking out the dirt on his hands. "How are you all doing?" The boys had all taken back their lives and they were doing all their own chores around the house now, but Hodge still came over once or twice a week to make sure they didn't need anything.

"Yeah, we're...Fine," he had been saying that over and over again, and the word still sounded bitter and awkward in his mouth. Hodge didn't look as though he believed him, but he let it go with a slight nod and a smile. "Hey, I just wanted to say thanks again...For everything that you did for us."

"Jace, it's no problem," Hodge assured him. "That's what you do for friends." Jace nodded, shifting from foot to foot, not too sure how to carry on the conversation but wanting to put off going inside the house. He knew that Alec was there because the car he had borrowed off his parents was parked outside. He shouldn't be avoiding his best friend—and he wasn't, not really—it's just whenever he was around Alec, he felt bad about how _he_ felt upset, because Alec had just lost his sister. His loss outweighed Jace's, but there was still a selfish part of Jace that wanted to wallow in his own pain. He didn't realize for a moment that Hodge was talking and he blinked to re-focus his attention. "You boys all just need to stick together. You need to comfort each other. You need to make sure you don't leave each other alone, because you're all going through pain, you just show it in different ways."

"I think we're doing okay," Jace mumbled with a shrug.

"And it's not just you boys," Hodge continued. "That girl of yours—she needs you now. You two make a good pair, and you don't want to let something like this pull you apart." Jace frowned as he lifted his head to look back at Hodge. They had never talked about him and Clary, even though Hodge had seen them together a hundred times and the older man had spoken to Clary on multiple occasions, Jace had never realized that Hodge thought the pair of them together.

He guessed it made sense though.

"We're not together," Jace informed him, although he really didn't like the sound of those words coming out of his mouth, and Hodge raised his eye questioningly but didn't say anything. "And I _am_ trying to be there for her...It's just different now...Harder."

"Understandable," Hodge nodded slowly. "Grief affects everyone differently. And her and Isabelle were very close. And how was..." Hodge pursed his lips together. "The week before Isabelle's accident, I know that it was the anniversary of your mother." Jace didn't even want to think about that, bringing back the flashes of the night at Kaelie's party, where he had been drunk and stupid, and had pushed Clary. "Well, just know that my door is always open—for all of you," Hodge gave him another smile, a smile that was comforting in the same way that Jocelyn's smile was comforting. It was like that of a caring parent. "And make sure you tell Simon I'm thinking of him, hope he's doing a lot better."

"Thanks, Hodge," Jace gave a halfhearted wave before backing up toward the house. He opened up the door and saw Alec sitting on the couch, wearing sweatpants and a loose tee-shirt, and he looked toward the door when he heard it open.

"Hey," he greeted the golden haired boy quietly.

"Hey," Jace nodded over at him. He hesitated, undecided if he was going to go to his bedroom, but he chose to go and sit next to Alec, looking at the TV screen, which was playing _Daredevil_.

"Went to see Clary?" Alec asked.

"Yup."

"Was she home?"

"Nope," Jace grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. Alec let it go for a little bit before he paused the TV and then tapped his finger against the side of his remote, thinking over what he was going to say.

"How are things with you two?" He finally asked quietly. Jace didn't know how to answer, so he just shrugged. "You need to tell her you love her," Alec kept his voice carefully even but Jace's whole body had jerked at the words as his head snapped to the side to look at his friend. Alec looked over at him, and the corners of his mouth twitched in an almost smile, the closest that Jace had seen in weeks. "You're not fooling anyone, Jace. And neither is Clary. Make things right between you two, okay?"

"I don't think she wants to," Jace sighed.

"Come on, Jace," Alec let out a strangled breath. "We're all...Going through a lot. She's just trying to get by." Jace nodded and glanced back to the TV before looking back at his best friend. Alec was gnawing down on his lower lip, and his breathing sounded a little stuttered. Jace took the remote out of Alec's hand, resuming the playback of _Daredevil_ , and then he slung an around Alec's shoulder, pulling the dark haired man in close to his side.

 _Okay! I've seen a few new movies since the last time I posted._ Spider-Man: Homecoming, _which was amazing. Tom Holland is just too precious for this world, I absolutely loved how they did MJ and Ned was just amazing._ War for the Planet of the Apes _, which was also great, I feel as those movies just got better and better as they went on._ Baby Driver _was awesome, Ansel Elgort is just a babe and I feel as though the whole cast did an amazing job in this one. Last weekend I saw_ Atomic Blonde _and while I absolutely LOVE Charlize Theron, Sofia Boutella and James McAvoy, I just don't feel as though it was as good as I hoped it would be. It was good, but I just...I wanted it to be better? I don't know...This weekend we're seeing_ Dunkirk _, and that's had killer reviews, so I've got my hopes high for this one._

 _On the music front, ever since Ariana Grande's One Love Manchester concert, I've been really getting into Little Mix. I thought they did such a good job there, they were so enthusiastic and they were so energetic and so I actually listened to other songs by them. Before that stage I had only heard_ Wings _and_ Salute _, which I had liked but wasn't totally into. So anyway—I became completely obsessed with them. Completely obsessed. They are so fucking amazing! Their live performances are off the chart! I have no idea how they manage to sing and dance so well! Jesy Nelson is just...Holy shit, a total babe. And then last weekend, a friend of mine messaged me and she had tickets for their concert that same night that she couldn't go to! I didn't even know that they were in my country, and so me and another friend went, and it was absolutely amazing. They are just so fucking incredible. If you haven't listened to them before,_ Touch _and_ Secret Love Song _are my recommended songs. So fucking good._

 _Ooh, also, have you guys watched the short movie,_ In A Heartbeat _? Omg. Right in the feels. I don't know how many times I've watched it now._

 _Anyway—in regards to my actual story, the reason that you're here! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Please leave a review and let me know what you think, what you liked, what you didn't, etc etc...If you want a preview, let me know, and I'll send it out xx_


	21. Chapter 21

_Hi, my pretties! Updating only once a month feels so weird, I feel like it's been half a year since I've updated! But my life is starting to even out again, and so maybe next month or the one after I'll be able to go back to two monthly updates :) Now, something that I wanted to say, was that I've written up summaries for all the new stories that I'm working on, and I've put them up on my profile. So go check them out and let me know what you think of them! I'm always happy to talk about new stories if you guys have any questions or want to talk :)_

"I think maybe I'll just head home," Clary said quietly, not for the first time that evening. Magnus pursed his glossed lips, rubbing them together before slipping his hand into Clary's.

"If you really want to go home, then we will," he told her softly, leaning in close so that she could hear him despite the loud noise coming from the club. "But it's been two months, and you've barely left your house except to go to work or to your mums. I get that this all feels weird and different, because it's _normal_ and maybe it doesn't feel right," Magnus was talking in hushed tones, voicing everything that Clary was feeling and making pressure build behind her eyes. "But Izzy would want you to be having fun, and to be with your friends." He squeezed her hand and took in a deep breath. "But if you want to head home, then we can." Clary looked up at the flashing sigh above the club, _Pandemonium_ , and the then looked at the long line of brightly dressed people who were waiting to get in.

"Okay, no...Let's go in," she agreed. Magnus flashed her a smile and leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek before tugging her toward the door. Their names were on the list, one of the many perks they got for being friends with people who promoted and worked at the club, and then they were ducking inside. The music just got louder as they walked down the dark hallway and finally reached the actual club itself. There were blue and purple and green lights spinning around the room, illuminating the throngs of people dancing and laughing, and the DJ who was on a raised platform, and the staff behind the bar, serving drinks and chatting up the pretty girls who were hanging around.

"You guys made it!" Maia came over to them. She looked a little tentative when she smiled at Clary, the two girls only having seen each other a couple of times since the funeral, but she still leaned in to give her a hug. "You want a drink?"

"Uh," Clary almost flinched at the thought, but Magnus' warmth next to her comforting. "Yeah, sure." Maia smiled and disappeared into the crowd.

"Come on," Magnus tugged on her hand, leading her further into club, toward an empty booth that had been reserved for them.

Two months now since the accident, and Clary was only just starting to walk around now as though she wasn't half asleep. The first few weeks had all been sort of a blur, she knew that she was at the boys house most of the time, and that she had barely left Jace's room. The familiar smell of his room and his skin on his sheets and pillow had been reassuring, and a lot of the time he had been in the bed with her, just holding her close against his solid body. She had known that he was suffering as well, and she had wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him like he was comforting her, but she just hadn't been able to push through this mental block that had settled over her entire body.

Once she had gone back to her and Izzy's place, she had just been trying to focus on operating normally again, going back to doing things that she should be doing without really thinking about them.

Working.

Eating.

Sleeping.

Showering.

Painting.

Jocelyn had been incredible, as usual. The relationship between Jocelyn and Clary was closer than one of mother and daughter, they were close friends as well. She could switch between friend and mother easily, and it had helped a lot over the past few months. Luke had helped as well, knowing when to give her space, knowing when to reach in and give her a fatherly hug that Clary had never had from her _own_ father, a void that Luke seemed to easily fill.

She was also getting on reasonably well with Aline. The girl was cheerful and upbeat, and even though it was still hard to see her in the uniform and in the place that her best friend used to fill, she was finding it easier to see them as separate, and not look at Aline as though she was inadvertently trying to replace Isabelle.

She had also been trying to keep in touch with the boys, although that was a little bit more difficult. All of them loved Isabelle as much as her, but even though she knew that they should all be banding together, sharing their grief, she found it harder.

 _Specifically_ she was finding it harder to be around Jace.

While Clary had sought his comfort in the few weeks following Isabelle and Simon's accident, when she was coming back into her head space, everything from _before_ the accident had come back. The hurt that she had felt when Jace had pushed her away, the ache in her chest when she had seen Jace disappeared upstairs with Kaelie—it all seemed so unimportant now, but Clary couldn't get past it.

Her reliance on Jace was more than what she should feel toward a friend, and that was all that he had to offer her. Jocelyn had murmured that maybe she should just tell Jace how she felt and see how things go from there, but when Clary said that she wasn't ready for _whatever_ the outcome was right now, Jocelyn had agreed and nodded, saying maybe that giving them all some time to adjust before saying anything.

Clary still hadn't decided if she was going to tell Jace how she felt.

Isabelle had told her she should.

But Isabelle wasn't here to talk things through with anymore.

"You okay?" Magnus was almost yelling to be heard over the music and Clary blinked at him, realizing that it was no longer just the two of them, Maia was standing there with two drinks in her hands and Jordan was behind her.

"I'm good!" Clary shouted back, hoping that the smile she plastered on her face was convincing. Magnus didn't look as though he believed it, but luckily the attention shifted when Simon and Alec came over to them. The two boys looked about as keen to be there as Clary, but they were dressed nicely, clearly trying to make an effort. "So we all have the night off, huh?" She attempted to start conversation as she took the drink from Maia and swallowed back half of it.

"All of us except Jace!" Simon yelled over the music.

"He doesn't usually work Saturday's," Clary commented.

"He's been picking up extra shifts," Alec ran his hand through his styled black hair, ruffling it up a little. "I've only been doing three days a week at the car yard, so that I can spend more time with mum and dad and Max, so Jace has been working more." He looked a little guilty about it, but Magnus gave a slight shake of his head and reached out to link their fingers together.

"You're looking good, Si," Clary said quietly as she shifted so that she was standing next to Simon.

"Yeah, you too," his expression was strained and his eyes were tired, but he didn't look as pale or gaunt as he had the past couple of times that she had seen him.

"Looks like we were all dragged out tonight," she murmured and Simon let out a huff of a laugh.

"Yeah, I guess," he shrugged and took in a deep breath. "But, hey, maybe it's good for us. We haven't all been together much, and I miss you—I miss all of us together," his voice tightened a little. "And the rest of us need to stick together."

"I know," Clary nudged his arm until he curled it around her back, holding her against him.

"So, you want a beer?" Jordan looked between Simon and Alec, and they both gave weak nods. Jordan nodded, slapping his arm against Alec's before turning to make his way back to the bar. Maia starting talking to Clary about something that had happened at her work that week, and Magnus kept Simon entertained, and maybe after ten or twenty minutes, the tension dissipated a little. Clary still hadn't caught a glimpse of Jace, but maybe that was a good thing. She was purposefully trying not to look at the crowds, to just focus on the people around her, and as the next hour went by, Maia kept bringing her drinks, the intent clearly to try and get her drunk.

Maybe it would be good for her, so she kept taking them, swallowing back the almost sickly sweet liquid.

It was almost twelve, two hours after they had gotten to the club, when there was a familiar, grating giggle behind her. Clary's spine stiffened, the relaxed state she had slowly faded into quickly disappearing as she was unable to stop herself from turning around to look over her shoulder at the blonde.

Kaelie.

She had been at Isabelle's funeral, but Clary hadn't seen her since.

"Just ignore her," Alec's voice was smooth next to her ear, clearly picking up on her discomfort. Clary tried to turn back around, except now that she had finally shifted her gaze from her group of friends, she couldn't help but look around the club.

And it wasn't hard to find Jace.

He was standing next to a group of people, a mixture of boys and girls, and they were all laughing and hanging off every word he was saying, so he was clearly being as charming and delightful as usual when he was meant to be working the crowd.

From the way he was looking straight at her, over everyones heads, she was guessing that he had had his eyes on her most of the night.

He gave her a hopeful smile, and Clary swallowed hard before smiling back, although it wasn't anything close to special, more just like a slight lift at the corners of her mouth, which felt kind of sticky with the lipstick Magnus had shoved in front of her in the car.

They had seen each other a couple of times since she had moved back to her place, but it had always been in big group settings, she had purposefully avoided meeting him alone, or letting him come over when she was at her place by herself.

"You alright?" Simon asked from where he was sitting next to Clary.

"I'm fine," she told him as she finished her drink and pushed it to the centre of the table in front of them. Alec had seemed to loosen up a little as well, he and Magnus had disappeared outside for about fifteen minutes at one stage, and when they had come back in, they smelt slightly of weed, and Alec's eyes were a little hazy. Simon was still a bit tense, but then the clubbing thing had never really been his scene, he had only ever really come out when the rest of them dragged him there, but him, Jordan and Maia seemed to be nerding out about some popular movie franchise.

It was good.

Everyone was comfortable and making the best of the situation.

"I just need to go to the bathroom," she said quietly to Simon as she got up, excusing herself from the booth. Maia offered to come with her, but Clary just shook her head with a smile as she wound her way through the club. Seeing Kaelie and then Jace had just been a little bit of a shock to her system and she needed a breather. She got to the bathroom and stared at her reflection in the murky mirror, which was smudged and smeared. She was jostled by a couple of other drunks girls but she mainly ignored them as she washed her hands slowly. After a few minutes, she walked back out to the main club, and saw Jace standing next to the booth with their friends. Clary took in a deep breath as she crossed the club to join them.

"Clary!" Maia called out as she started walking over to them and Jace turned around to give her another one of those hesitant smiles. When Clary returned his smile, his eyes lightened and he looked a bit more confident. Clary had almost reached them when Kaelie suddenly appeared at Jace's side, clinging onto his arm and slurring something into his ear. Jace's body tensed as his eyes shifted away from Clary, and even though she knew that this wasn't what Jace wanted, that Kaelie was just drunk, the two of them together made her stomach twist.

She turned on her heel and weaved quickly out of the club.

 _Sooooo...I saw_ The Hitmans Bodyguard _last weekend with the man and a few friends, and it was fucking hilarious. I definitely recommend. Another movie I watched a week or so ago was_ Below Her Mouth _. It was on Netflix and yeah, okay, it's about 80% sex scenes, but I absolutely fucking loved it. Erika Linder is just...Holy shit, she is fucking beautiful. So both of these, I recommend! One that I'm a little iffy on is_ Friends From College _. My husband and I watched it all in the space of one weekend. The cast was incredible, they're all good actors and they all had so much chemistry with each other—Felix was my absolute favourite—but I felt so, so, so angry at the end. I won't explain it on here because I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but shit I was angry at the end!_

 _Now, song wise...Lili Reinhart's cover of_ Wicked Games _. Holy shit. It's absolutely beautiful, and I have played it so many times on Youtube, it's insane. The other songs I've had on repeat recently are_ Havana _by Camilla Cabello,_ Fight Like A Girl _by Zolita and_ Bird _by Billie Marten. I've also put some of my old songs on my phone to play at work, and so I've been listening to Flyleaf—my favourite by them is_ Marionette _._

 _Also, has anyone listened to the song_ 1-800-273-8255 _by Logic, Alessia Cara and Khalid? It's absolutely heart breaking and completely beautiful. Their performance at the VMA's had me all tearing up. Holy shit._

 _As usual—recommend songs, movies, fics in the_ Riverdale _,_ Teen Wolf _and_ Mortal Instruments _categories! Sometimes I do take a while to get around to all your recs, but I do get there! And don't forget to check out the summaries on my profile, and let me know what you think!_

 _Pleeeease leave a review, my beauties! They make me super happy, and I've got a preview for anyone who wants one :) xx_


	22. Chapter 22

_Hey guys, here's the update._

"Clary!" Jace shouted. "Clary!" Clary was determinedly ignoring Jace's voice as she managed to get out of the club and was hit with a wave of cold, night air. She shivered a little, but was glad to be out of the stuffy building. She didn't wait for Jace to catch up with her, quickly starting to walk down the footpath. There wasn't a long line anymore of people waiting to get into the club but there were still people outside, smoking or making out, and then there were others dawdling along the footpath, a lot of them drunk. She had almost made it to the corner of the street when there was a rush of air behind her and a huff of breath. "Clary, come on—wait." He grabbed her elbow to force her to stop.

"Jace," her voice came out something like a whine, which she wasn't particularly proud of.

"Clary, you know that was nothing in there. Me and Kaelie? There's nothing—"

"I know, Jace," she murmured quietly.

"You do?" He blinked at her.

"God, _yes_ ," Clary rolled her eyes and then stared down at the ground. "Shit, I know you better than that." Jace didn't know what to say for a moment before sighing and running his hand through his hair.

"Then why did you leave?"

"I was getting ready to go anyway," she shrugged. It wasn't entirely a lie. "And, well, I guess I just really didn't want to see Kaelie." Jace nodded and chewed down on his lower lip almost viciously as he stared at her. Clary was pointedly not meeting his eyes, which he hated. There had never been a distance between them, even when months would go back and they weren't actually sleeping together, they were _always_ still friends. He reached out for her, cupping the side of her neck and brushing his thumb against her jawline.

"Clary," he began softly. "I miss you." He felt her tense under his touch, and then she exhaled a long breath and looked up at him, her green eyes wide and looking a little teary.

"I miss you too," she replied, her voice just as tentative, but it was good enough for Jace. A smile broke out over his face and he took the half step closer he needed so that he was standing so close to her that she could feel his body heat, and he could smell her perfume. It was so comforting and familiar that it made his heart ache.

"I want you back, Clary," he continued, although he really didn't know what he meant by it. He didn't know what exactly he was asking for back, but if he was being completely honest, he would take whatever she was offering.

"Right," Clary let out a short sigh, and the she was straightening up and pulling away from him, and he knew that things had shifted. He wasn't too sure what was going through her head, but he had a feeling that he wasn't going to like it, not from the way that her eyes were closing down. "What is it that you want back, Jace? The sex? What?"

"I don't know, Clary," his voice tightened in slight frustration. "It's been weeks, and I just want my best friend back."

"Your best friend," Clary swallowed hard and ducked her head again, looking down at her fingers which she was lacing together and then unlacing, fidgeting with her fingernails. "So that's what we are?" It was Jace's turn to swallow, his throat contracting before scratching at the back of his neck.

"I don't know what we are, Clary," he said quietly, almost resigned. "I've never really known what we are. We just kinda...Were."

"Well, I can't do that anymore," Clary's tone was a lot more certain than she thought it would be, and she was proud of herself. "I can't keep doing that." Jace felt disappointment flood through him and he struggled to keep it from showing on his face, forcing himself to nod. "Me and—" she broke off for a moment before taking in a deep breath and jutting her chin forward to meet his eyes. "Me and Izzy had been talking about for quite a while, but I kept ignoring her, I didn't want to follow her advice." It clearly hurt her to say Isabelle's name, but Jace liked that she had spoken it out loud. "After I saw you with Kaelie, I knew that I had to do something, I just didn't know when. And then after the accident with Izzy and Simon, it kinda proves that life is too short, right? You can't just keep ignoring something that's so important to you."

"What is it?" Jace managed to ask, a nerve jumping in his jaw as he ground his teeth together nervously.

"I love you, Jace," the words came out in a rush, in a heavy exhale, and as soon as she had said them, Clary looked like she wanted to take them back, her eyes went so wide they were like saucers. But she didn't, she pressed her lips together and kept her head lifted determinedly.

"I love you too, Clary," he replied, the smile back on his face, relief showing.

"No, Jace," she looked annoyed now, clenching one of her fists at her side. "I love you. Not as a friend. _I. Love. You_." Jace blinked at her, the smile quickly fading off his face as he processed exactly what it was that she was saying. His lips parted but words just weren't coming out, because he had no idea what he was meant to say. The silence stretched between them and Clary sighed, finally dropping her eyes. She shook her head and turned around, walking away from him in a way that felt so final Jace's blood ran cold.

"Clary!" He called after her, and she paused, although she didn't turn back around. He licked his lips and tried to think of something to make her stop. But there was nothing, and after a few more moments, she kept on walking.

* * *

"Baby? You home?" Jocelyn called out from the doorway. She kicked off her shoes and carried the grocery bags in her arms through to the kitchen, putting them down on the table and looking down the hallway. "Clary?"

"I'm just getting dressed!" Clary shouted back from her bedroom. Jocelyn nodded to herself and then started putting away the groceries. Clary still hadn't joined her by the time she had finished, so she started sorting through the pile of mail that was on top of the microwave. None of it was opened, a lot of it was just junk—pamphlets and brochures—but there was thick letter in the middle of it all with a particular logo at the top that caught her attention. Jocelyn's eyebrows rose as she pulled it out of the pile, touching the logo with the tip of her finger. "Sorry, just got out of the shower," Clary came into the room, looking fresh and pink cheeked, scrubbing at her damp hair with a towel.

"Were you ever going to open this?" Jocelyn asked, holding up the letter and waving it slightly. Clary frowned in confusion as she came over to her mother, dropping the towel over the back of a chair and reaching for the letter. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw the blue logo at the top.

From UCLA.

"I didn't even see this," Clary murmured. "I haven't really been looking at the mail because bills and shit come through the email. I've just been dumping it over there." She nodded toward the microwave where the messy pile was.

"Yes, I can see that," Jocelyn quirked an eyebrow. Clary didn't say anything for a few seconds and then she was quickly flipping over the envelope and ripping it open as though she couldn't get the letter inside out soon enough. There was a slight shake in her fingers as she unfolded the letter and flattened it out, her eyes skimming over the text. Jocelyn couldn't help but bite down on her lower lip nervously as she waited for her daughters reaction. Clary blinked a dozen times, her grip on the paper tightening before she looked up at her mother.

"I got in," her voice was a hushed whisper. "I got in."

She hadn't even thought about the application.

Her and Isabelle had completed all the forms and sent them away, and Clary had needed to submit a couple of pieces of her art work in different mediums. She had actually been really excited about it, her and Isabelle had said they weren't going to talk about it with the others yet because they didn't want to jinx it, but Clary had actually started wondering what they could do if they were both accepted, what their lives would be like.

"I didn't even...I completely forgot about this," she said as she looked back down at the letter.

"Congratulations, baby," Jocelyn's grin was so big it looked like it was about to take over her whole face as she lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Clary. "I'm so proud of you." They hugged for a long few moments before stepping apart and Clary looked back down at the letter. "You're going to do it, right? You're going to accept?"

"I don't...I don't know," Clary still sounded surprised. Jocelyn nodded, deciding that she would leave it for now, because there was time for them to figure it out.

* * *

A week had gone by, and Jace wanted to talk to Clary, but every time he had gone to call her, he shoved his phone back into his pocket. Every time he had been preparing himself to to drive over to her place, he would just press his foot harder on the accelerator and drive straight past her street.

He was a fucking idiot.

He knew that.

He _knew_ how he felt about Clary.

And he had had a chance to tell her; she had opened up to him, admitted how she felt, put it on the line.

All he had needed to do was say it back.

And he had freaked out.

He had frozen.

She hadn't told anyone about what had happened, or else the boys would have been riding his ass to get her around there and baring his soul. And they would be completely right as well, because he _should_ have told her.

"Fuck," Jace growled, slamming his hand down on the picnic table where he was sitting beside the pool. Alec knew that something was going on, and he lifted an eyebrow over at his friend. Jace ignored him, though, shoving the cigarette back into his mouth and staring moodily at the chipped wood of the table top.

 _Let me know if you'd like a preview._


	23. Chapter 23

_Hey guys! So I'm back with a new chapter. Now...There is good and bad news. The good news is—this is the second update in the month! Yay! The bad news is...This is my last update of the year. I always go on a bit of a break over Christmas time, and I know that this is a bit earlier than my usual time, but I've got a lot going on in my life right now, and I just think that now is the best time._

 _However, I promise I will be back with more frequent next years! And also, if you guys have prompts or songs that you want me to work into a oneshot, send them through—as a thank you for sticking with me and a sorry for a bit of an extended break. Obviously I won't be able to do all of the requests, due to time restraints and also simply because sometimes an idea or song just doesn't resonate with me, but I will try my hardest! The ship/characters for the fic don't have to be limited to this fandom, you can check out my profile for other fandoms and ships that I love!_

 _Also, I've got the first chapter of four new stories up, so go check them out :)_

Jace was sitting on the couch, his thumb rasping over his lighter as he balanced the joint between his lips. It was Saturday afternoon, and he had only gotten up about twenty minutes ago even though it was nearly two o'clock. It had been a week and a half week since the night with Clary at the club, and he had pretty much just been drinking and smoking to pass his time when he wasn't at work. Alec wasn't the only one who had picked up that something was wrong, Magnus was now starting to give him looks. The only reason he had managed to keep under the rader was because he was still picking up extra shifts and he was only really home during the mornings, which he was spending most of the time in his room.

"Jace," Simon grunted as he came down the hallway and slumped in the armchair next to Jace. He looked tired, which would be a mixture of the fact he had worked overtime this week and that he was also finally coming off the tramadol which was giving him night terrors and making it hard to get through the night.

"The doctors saying how much longer the medication is meant to be giving you shit?" Jace asked, glancing at Simon through the mess of golden hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.

"Apparently it's just a waiting game," Simon sighed, rubbing a hand tiredly over his eyes.

"Sucks," Jace commented as he offered Simon the joint. Simon took it and sucked on the end, letting out a stream of smoke from the corner of his mouth. He took another puff before passing it back.

"Have you talked to Clary in the past week or so?" Simon asked. Jace's spine jerked a little, wondering if she had finally said something to him, but Simon didn't sound angry, just curious, so that seemed unlikely. "She got an acceptance letter, to UCLA, for an arts degree." Jace blinked, staring directly ahead at the TV even though there was this veil that had slipped in front of his eyes and he couldn't really see past them. "Apparently her and Izzy had applied a few months ago, and the acceptance letter came a few days ago." Jace swallowed hard, puffing away on the joint, hoping that Simon couldn't see the way his body was now tense, despite the weed that was flowing through his veins.

"I think I'm going to go for a drive," Jace said abruptly, and he didn't realize that he had zoned out and that Simon was still talking until the other man was blinking up at him. Jace couldn't bring himself to say sorry and stay, though, and he started walking toward the door.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Simon called after him. "You're pretty stoned—driving might not be a good idea!" Jace paused as his hand rested on the bench next to the keys. A few months ago, they wouldn't have thought twice about it, because it had only been one joint, or maybe it had only been a couple of beers. But after the accident, they had all gotten a lot more careful, and so Jace nodded once and decided to walk instead. He walked for a long time, glad that he was only wearing a pair of a sweatpants and a wife beater, because he was feeling pretty warm by the time he came to a stop in front of the house he should have known he was walking toward.

Clary's.

Jace swallowed hard as he walked up to the door and knocked. It took about a minute, but then he heard footsteps approaching and then the door swung open. Clary blinked at him when she saw him standing there, and her hand instantly went up to her hair, fiddling with a few strands of hair nervously.

"Hi," Jace managed to say.

"Hi," Clary returned, swallowing hard. They stared at each other for a long few moments before she licked her lips and moved to the side. "Did you want to come in?" Her voice sounded almost formal and that hurt like a knife twisting in Jace's ribs. He nodded his head jerkily as he entered the house, kicking off his shoes and walking inside. The house looked almost exactly the same as it always had, although there was still a presence that was lacking, something that he _knew_ was Isabelle. It sort of made his body ache just thinking about it, and he wondered if Clary was used to that feeling by now. Clary took in a deep breath as she crossed her arms over her chest and fixed her eyes on the ground. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard about your acceptance letter," he began, his voice a little huskier than he intended it to be. His eyes stayed on Clary, not able to pull them away. She looked gorgeous, despite how casually she was dressed in a pair of leggings and a baggy teeshirt that had see through panels on either side, and she kept chewing down on her lower lip. He always thought she looked beautiful, but there was just something about her today.

Maybe it was the fact that he knew she loved him.

And that _he_ loved _her_.

Somehow it just made her glow in his eyes.

Which was ridiculously cheesy, and Jace couldn't believe that he had even thought it and he let out a huff.

"Are you going to go?" He asked and Clary's teeth almost tore viciously at her lower lip as she kept her head tilted down. Jace closed the distance between them, his automatic reaction to lift his hand and cup the smooth skin of her jaw, his thumb pressing to her lower lip and pulling it out from her teeth. It was a habit that she had when she was nervous, along with fiddling with her hair, and usually Jace was more than fine with it, except now it looked as though she was going to make her mouth bleed. Clary's breathing hitched at the touch of his thumb against her lips and Jace felt his stomach do a little dip and squeeze.

"I think I probably will," Clary told him, her voice soft. Jace's stomach squeezed again, this time unpleasantly, but he tried to ignore it, to push his feelings aside.

"I didn't even know you had applied," he traced his thumb around her lips, noting the way that her eyelids fluttered slightly.

"It was Izzy's idea," Clary's voice was so quiet it was barely loud enough for Jace to hear, but he definitely did. The fingers that were resting on her jaw teased at the smooth skin, massaging at the hinge of her jaw. Just touching her again felt unreal, and Jace couldn't believe how long he had gone without being able to just reach out and feel her. "But I'm glad that she suggested it."

"Art?" He questioned her, so close now that his breath was warm against her mouth.

"Yeah," she nodded and blinked a bit hazily.

"You'll be incredible," he told her truthfully. Clary finally lifted her eyes to meet his, and there was a glassy sheen there that made Jace's heart beat faster, and he couldn't help himself from leaning down and pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and chaste to begin with, on Jace's part it was tentative, waiting for her to push him away and say that she didn't want this. On Clary's side, she wasn't sure how she was feeling right now, and so she was going slow, waiting for her body to tell her how she was going to react.

She hadn't cried since she had told Jace she loved him, and he hadn't returned the sentiment.

She thought she would, but she hadn't.

She loved him.

She _loved_ him.

Maybe he didn't love her back in the way she wanted, but that was a pain for another day.

Jace seemed to sense the exact moment when her body decided to go pliant against his, because he opened his mouth and pushed his tongue past her teeth. Clary made a little noise at the back of her throat and her body seemed to melt against his. Jace was more than happy to shift the position of his hands, moving them both so that they were around her waist and supporting her weight. She tasted so good, like everything that he never realized that he needed in his life. Jace knew he had been missing her, everything about her, but it wasn't until her soft body was fitting against his, gorgeous noises slipping from her mouth and getting muffled by their kisses, that he realized just _how much_ he missed her.

He would have been content to stand there and kiss her for hours, but as the kiss got more involved, she put her hands on his shoulders and reached up on her tip-toes. Jace slid his hands securely around her hips and lifted her up, her slim legs going instinctively around his waist. Jace walked them forward, guiding them down the hallway toward her bedroom. Their lips never parted, the fingers of one of Clary's hands carding through his soft golden hair as she tasted the marijuana and peanut butter on his tongue and the roof of his mouth. Clary tasted like something sweet, maybe like lemonade, and when they sat down on the bed, Jace was intent on licking the taste right out of her mouth so that the only taste he got was pure and unadulterated _Clary_.

"I missed you so much," Jace breathed against her skin as he ducked his head to suck at the skin of her neck. Clary's head was tilted backwards, leaving herself open for him to lavish the porcelain skin, marking it with his teeth and sucking bruises. In response to his comment, she gave a muffled whine, and he shuffled them backwards until he was sitting back against her pillows with his against the wall. "Seriously, Clary, I missed you—" she interrupted his words with her mouth and a purposeful roll of her hips against his hardening cock between the cradle of her legs. He had arranged her over his lap, her knees tight against his hips, and every time she moved, the feeling went straight to his groin.

She couldn't listen to him saying he missed her.

She wasn't sure she could handle that—not with the way he had slid his hands underneath her shirt and was tracing soft, achingly tender patterns against her lower back.

It felt too sweet.

Too loving.

And she really, really never wanted him to stop.

Even though she knew the pain was just going to be more intense when she woke up tomorrow morning.

He pulled off her shirt first, throwing it toward the corner of her room, and then she was bare from the waist up. He kissed his way across her chest, his tongue loving every inch of skin he could get his mouth on. He sucked one nipple into his mouth, rolling it between his lips and mouthing at it until Clary was squirming on his lap and her chest was flushed a pretty pink. She was tugging at his hair and pulling his face closer to her breasts and wiggling her hips impatiently against his.

Jace didn't rush though, he wanted to savor this. He scratched his fingers lightly down her spine, feeling her shiver under his touch, and dipped them under the band of her leggings and thong. They had to do a bit of maneuvering to get them both out of their pants and underwear, and then Clary pulled Jace's shirt over his head as well and then they were both naked and holding each other, mouths coming back together.

Clary's lower lips were wet; so wet that they were sliding up and down on either side of his cock, the thick head catching on her clit every time he angled her hips just right. Her fingernails were digging into his hips as she let him control the kiss, his tongue diving so deep into her mouth it was practically down her throat, wanting to taste everything she could give him. He had pulled her hair out of the sloppy braid that it had been in, and it was now a red mess around her face and falling over her shoulders and Jace wouldn't have it any other way.

When they pulled apart, Clary's eyes were glazed and half lidded, and her lips were swollen and red. He brushed her hair out of her eyes, his hands framing her face and staring at her for a long few moments. Clary felt her stomach twist and dip as she tried to search his eyes for something, and was only met with golden warmth. He pressed his lips to hers once more before reaching into the drawer in the bedside table and pulled out a condom. Clary shuffled backwards down his thighs to give him some room to roll it on, and then she was being picked up by Jace's strong arms and then he was positioning her over him and they were joined together in the most intimate of ways.

The rolled together, a gentle rise and fall, their eyes never moving apart. Clary felt breathless as Jace's fingers massaged her hips, aiding her movements, thrusting up to meet her downward rolls.

"You're so perfect, Clary," Jace breathed, feeling the way her body was beginning to tighten around him. She felt her lower lip wobble a little at the sentiment, at the way he was holding her as though she was something delicate, to be treasured. He glided his hands up her back, the touch making it arch, and then he started to leave feather-light kisses over her forehead and noses and cheeks before finally reaching her mouth. She kissed him harder back and then began to move a little faster, clearly chasing after her orgasm.

Jace conceded, meeting her movements, pushing into her faster in the way that he knew would help her get what she needed. When she was falling apart around him, swollen lips parted and panting out his name, her green eyes glazed over with lust, there were three words on the tip of his tongue. She just looked so damn gorgeous, falling apart in his arms.

But then he was coming inside the condom, the world whiting out around the edges, and he had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from crying out.

 _Alright! So, my recommendations this time...Songwise, the ones I've had on repeat are;_ Somebody New _, by Cedric Gervais. Fucking loooove it, my husband hates it, but I play it loud as hell when I'm the only one in the car. Haha._ First Time _by Kygo and Ellie Goulding, this one is cute and sweet, makes me think back to being a teenager. Then there's_ Easy _by Sky Ferreira, which is just beautiful, from the movie_ Baby Driver _, and the last one is_ Too Much To Ask _by Niall Horan, which is just so pretty._

 _Movie wise, I've recently seen_ Kingsmen 2 _, which was fucking great, although my favourite character...*quietly sobs in corner*. Also_ It _, which was great as well, the kids were all so fucking brilliant in that movie, and I have to admit, I ship Reddie. I think they're absolutely adorable. Bill Skarsgard did an amazing job. And then tomorrow, I'll be seeing_ Thor: Ragnorok _! It looks amazing, so fingers crossed._

 _And then in the TV show area, I've just started watching_ The Gifted _, which is pretty good so far. Also binged the second season of_ Shooter _, which I've really enjoyed, and I hope that there's more! Another one is_ Wynonna Earp, _which took me a while to get into, but I love it now. Wynonna and Waverly are just fucking amazing. And then there's just the general shows that I've been keeping up with, like_ How To Get Away With Murder, Gotham _and_ NCIS: Los Angeles _, all of which are great._

 _So! Let me know what you guys think of the chapter, let me know if you guys have any prompts or songs you want me to write about (any of the fandoms I'm in, check my profile, and keep in mind I will try to write them, but can't guarantee all of them) and absolutely recommend any songs, movies, tv shows or fics to me!_

 _There's a preview of the next chapter for a review... xxx_


	24. Chapter 24

_I'm back! We're 2018! It does_ not _feel like it at all. Haha. It still feels like 2017. Anyway, I hope that you all had a great Christmas and New Years, fun but safe (even though that make me sounds like a mum). Mine started well and then I had a bit of an accident which is taking a while to recover from, but we'll get there. And I hope that the first month of 2018 has been great! I've got a few concerts coming up which I'm psyched about—Ed Sheeran, Pink and Halsey, so that's awesome._

 _Now, my official updating schedule is kicking off from February, this update is just to get all my stories updated and get my oneshots posted. Check out my profile for the schedule. There are a variety of oneshots posted in quite a few categories, so make sure you check them out, along with my profile for the updating schedule going forward!_

Okay.

So he loved her.

It was a fact.

He had known it for a long time; dense and buried in his bones, and now he was finally admitting it.

He had been so close to saying them as well, they were right there, when his head was all cloudy, but he must have had enough sense not to say them during sex for the first time.

Clary deserved better than that.

Jace let out a long sigh and licked his tongue along his teeth, tasting the coffee and cereal that he had eaten for dinner. He, Magnus and Simon were all in the lounge, watching some terrible movie on TV. Jordan was out with Maia and Alec was locked in his bedroom. Magnus had been in there most of the day with Alec, but he had come out about thirty minutes ago and joined the other boys on the couch. Jace had gotten back to the house about two hours ago, after a rather stilted and awkward goodbye to Clary, and he had been looking over at his best friends door every couple of minutes.

He had wanted to stay in bed with Clary, laughing and talking like they always used to, but it had felt too different, and even though they had never sex that had made her feel this close to her before, afterwards he had never felt so distant.

Things had been understandably strained between Alec and Jace, mainly just as they both dealt with their grief in any way they could, but that was the person that Jace really needed to talk to right now. After considering it for another few minutes, he lurched off the sofa and went over to Alec's door, rapping his knuckles twice before opening it up. Alec was on his bed, the curtains drawn and the room thick with the smell of sex and weed, and he was watching something on Netflix on his laptop.

"Hey, man," Jace greeted him.

"Hey," Alec grunted. Jace scratched the back of his neck and then gestured at the bed.

"Is it safe to sit down?" He joked slightly, although he wasn't _totally_ kidding, because there were several condom wrappers, ripped open and strewn on the ground. Alec just shrugged and then shuffled over a little bit to make more room on the mattress for him. Jace chewed down on his bottom lip and then sat down, tapping his fingers erratically on his knee. Alec watched him out of the corner of his eye for a few moments before sighing and pausing the show he was watching, and then looking properly over at Jace.

"What's going on?" Alec asked him. Jace swallowed hard, the words stuck in his throat. Alec frowned, looking a little concerned, and he pulled himself so that he was sitting on the mattress. "Jace?"

"I love Clary," Jace said, kicking himself internally at how rough his voice sounded. Alec blinked at him, looking completely taken aback and Jace attempted a chuckle. "Why you looking so surprised? I thought you were all ' _it's obvious. Everyone knows it_ '."

"Well, _yeah_!" Alec exclaimed. "But I didn't think I'd ever actually hear you say it! We've all been waiting years for this to happen!" Jace felt his cheeks reddening a little at his friends words. "I mean...We honestly thought that this might never happen, you guys could possibly just bump around each other for ages before finally one of you found someone else." Jace's golden eyes widened suddenly at that thought, hating the way that those words filled his stomach with ice. Alec seemed to see what effect those words had on him and he reached out to touch Jace's arm. "What made you realize all of this?"

"Because..." Jace sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Because she's _Clary_ , ya know? She's always been there for me, and she's incredible, and funny, and she knows that I'm a total asshole and for some reason that doesn't change her opinion of me." Alec gave him a crooked half smile. "I just can't imagine not being with her, you know? And," he sighed again, this one deep and heavy, right from his belly. "And now she's leaving—or at least thinking about it."

"Yeah, I heard about that," Alec's lips turned downwards and Jace licked his lips as he saw the sad expression on his friends face. It wasn't just him that was going to miss Clary. She was a part of all of their lives. "Are you gonna—have you told her this yet?"

"Nope," Jace sighed and shook his head.

"Why not?" Alec questioned quietly.

"Because..." Jace pressed his tongue behind his upper lip. "Because I can't do that."

"Why not?" Alec pressed.

"Because that would be selfish!" Jace snapped. "How good has she been to me over the years?! She's always been strong, and whenever I need her, she's always been the one that's right there." Jace scratched his fingers through his shaggy hair, tossing it to one side. "She's needed me in the past and I probably haven't been as good for as I could have been. Even in the past month or so, I've tried my best to be there for her, but she's just been pulling away from me." Alec mouth tightened in the corners and he glanced down.

"It's been hard on everyone. We deal in different ways. You know that she was just trying to cope as best as she can," Alec told him softly, just reiterating what Jace already knew, but it didn't make him feel better.

"Maybe her way to cope is to go away to this University," Jace commented. "And she'll be incredible. Her art will take her places."

"Maybe it is," Alec shrugged. "So doesn't this make it the perfect time for you to tell her? I mean, she's leaving. If you say it to her, and she doesn't say it back, then at least there's going to be space, give you guys some proper time apart." Jace blinked slowly.

"She's already said it," he barely got the words out, they were rasping out of his throat as though they wanted to stay there forever.

"She _what_?!" Alec's eyebrows shot upward. "What did—when did this happen?!"

"That other week in the club, when she left early," Jace mumbled.

"Wait—what the fuck?!" Alec's expression changed about three times in the matter of a couple of seconds, from surprised to awed and then to angry. "And you haven't said it back to her yet?! Do you know what a big deal that is—for her to say that to you and then you, what, you walk away?"

" _She_ walked away," Jace felt the need to correct him, even though it really didn't matter. He _let_ her walk away, even after she gave him a second chance to give her a reason to stop. Alec clearly knew that as well, because he just gave Jace a disapproving look.

"You have to tell her before she goes," Alec said and Jace shook his head roughly.

"No. Don't you see? That's _why_ I can't tell her," Jace grunted. "What if that changes her choice? To go off to University? This is probably the best thing for her right now—and the best thing for her future. I don't want to be the one holding her back." Alec regarded him for a long moment before lifting up his eyebrows.

"Do you really think you hold that much sway over her decisions? Specifically _this_ decision?" He asked quietly and Jace felt as though the breath had left his chest. He narrowed his eyes at Alec, who was just giving him a careful smile. "Clary is one of the smartest, _and_ most stubborn girls I know. She's serious about going off to do this degree—I remember Izzy talking to me about it a while ago. If this is the best thing for her, then it doesn't matter what you say to her, she's going to do it." Jace hated that Alec was right.

"Then what's the point in even telling her?" He choked out. Alec stared at him for a long time before reaching out and squeezing his shoulder.

"Because she deserves to know. There's nothing worse that _not knowing_."

 _Okay! Let me know what you guys thought! Let me know if you liked it, if you didn't, what your favourite part was, etc etc._

 _Alright, now I've got so many song and movie recommendations given the gap in updating, so I'll limit it down. Movie wise,_ The Last Jedi _and_ The Greatest Showman _are both absolutely incredibly. Especially_ TGS _. Holy shit, the songs and the costumes and the dances, they were all amazing. I don't even know what my favourite songs from it is..._ This Is Me, Rewrite The Stars, Never Enough, From Now On _...I just don't know! And TV series recommendations would be_ The Gifted, Black Lightning _and_ The Runaways.

 _Songwise,_ I'm Gonna Show You Crazy _by Bebe Rexha,_ Him and I _by Halsey and G-Eazy,_ Missing You _by Blake McGrath,_ Never Enough _from The Greatest Showman,_ My My My _by Troye Sivan,_ Dynasty _by MIIA and_ Phases _by French Montana._

 _Let me know what your own recommendations are! I note down all your song, TV series and movies suggestions so I can get around to them when I have time!_

 _Make sure you check out my other updates and let me know if you want a preview of the next chapter xx_


	25. Chapter 25

_Alright, so we've got some people a bit torn up as to whether Jace should tell her before or after she goes. I finished writing this story about...Seven or eight months ago, I think, and I had actually forgotten how I'd unraveled things in this chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it :)_

It felt as though the next few weeks went by in the blink of an eye. While the weeks since Isabelle's death and Simon's hospitalization seemed as though they had dragged on for a year, when it was coming up to Clary's leaving, time just went so much faster. The semester started in a month, which meant that things had been thrown into fast-forward. Clary's acceptance letter had been dated just a few days after the accident, and so she would have originally had a whole lot more time to get ready if her life hadn't been a complete shambles at the time.

Since deciding that she was going to accept the offer, she had needed to sort out a whole lot in a short amount of time. Jocelyn had been helpful, and so had Luke, but one of the biggest sources of help had actually come from somewhere unexpected.

Aline.

Clary had told the owners of the cafe that she had been accepted into UCLA, they had been happy for her. They were a sweet couple, and her and Isabelle had been there for years now, so they were all close and treated her like family. They had obviously mentioned it to their granddaughter, because a few days later, Aline had sidled up to her while they were closing up the store and mentioned that her and her girlfriend had been looking for a roommate to help ease their expenses when they went back.

Clary knew that Aline went to the University, it had come up in conversation before. She had a year left to go in her degree for Social Sciences, while her girlfriend, Helen Blackthorn, was working to be a photographer and was only halfway through her own degree. They had stayed in student housing the first year, and then in their second year they had got their own place. Aline had become stressed over the third year and that was when she had decided to take some time off. She had gotten a job in LA for most of the year, saving money and making it easier for her girlfriend to focus on her studies, but then had come back visit her grandparents and help around the cafe for a few months.

Moving in with someone she knew, and having her own space, would be a whole lot better than living in student housing. That hadn't even been something that she had Isabelle had considered, given when they had applied, they had both just assumed they would find somewhere together. The simple of idea of being crammed into a tiny room and sharing a bathroom was repulsive, and so moving in with Aline and Helen would be a godsend.

"Clary!" Magnus started beating the heels of his palms against the front door in a beat. "Clary, baby! Open the door!" It was a sunny Saturday morning, and the boys were all helping Clary pack up the house.

"Typical female," Alec joked, although his voice was a little tight, trying to ignore the fact that he was about to go into a house that he had been avoiding for the past few months. "Asking for a favor and then making us wait."

"What would you know about females, huh?" Jace teased, elbowing him in the side. "The last time you had anything to do with females other than your sister and her best friend was Rosa in primary school. And from what I remember, you didn't do such a good job in making that moment memorable."

"Didn't you chip her tooth?" Simon tilted his head to the side as he thought back all those years.

"I was eleven years old! I didn't know how to kiss yet!" Alec protested.

"Here's a hint," Jace smirked. "You don't smack your mouths together and break off _half her fucking tooth_." He, Jordan and Simon all chortled while Magnus tried to smother his smile in solidarity of his boyfriend.

"Well, I'll have you all know that he has gotten a lot better with time," Magnus slung an arm around Alec's shoulders and brought him in for a loud smush of their lips. Alec rolled his eyes and half-heartedly shoved Magnus, but there was a slight blush on his cheeks. They had made everything official between the pair of them, although once they had finally started getting together, there had never really been any doubt that they would _eventually_ become an actual couple. Everyone was glad for them, although the boys were all getting a little bit sick of having to stop them from mounting each other on the couch in the lounge.

"Hey!" Clary let out a huff of air as she reached the door and threw it open, looking a little flushed. Jace felt like he had been punched in the gut as he saw her.

He had been purposefully avoiding her since ever since the day they had sex, which had felt like so, _so_ much more than sex, and then he had gone home and admitted to Alec that he loved her. He hadn't been the only one, Clary hadn't been texting him or coming by the house to see him or the other boys either. It was now three weeks later, and it was only a week before she left.

And now here he was, _helping her leave him._

"You guys ready?" She glanced at them, pausing over Jace for a split second before quickly looking back to Magnus.

"Put us to work, biscuit," Magnus smiled at her, smacking a kiss to her cheek and pushing past her to walk into the house. Jordan and Simon followed after him, kissing her on the cheek on their way inside, and then Jace followed. He flashed her a tentative smile, which she returned, and there was a tension between them that he absolutely hated because there was _never_ tension between them, not in the five years that they had been sleeping together. Alec was last, the smile on his face had frozen as soon as Clary opened the door, and she reached out to twine their fingers together.

"I don't expect you to come in, Alec," she told him quietly, stepping out of the house so that they were standing close together. "I didn't think that you would come over."

"Of course I was going to come," Alec tried to force another smile, but the death grip that he had on her hand belied the relaxed expression he was trying to give her. Clary bit down on her bottom lip.

"I haven't been in her room," she admitted, taking in a deep breath. "I thought it was something that we could all do together?" Alec nodded, and then looked over her shoulder when there was the sound of a long bang and a thud and then Jordan letting out an 'oops'.

"We should probably get in there," Alec said. "Supervise the children."

"Sounds like a plan," Clary linked arms with him and they walked into the house.

* * *

Clary had known that packing was going to be hard. Putting everything that she had Isabelle had collected and made a home for themselves with over the years into a bunch of cardboard boxes. The boys were surprisingly careful and delicate with all of her things, which was a little unexpected given how rough and careless they were a lot of the time, and so apart from the glass that was broken right at the beginning, nothing else was damaged. They helped to wrap everything up and put them in boxes, and then carry her furniture outside. They had borrowed a trailer from Hodge and hooked it up to the tow bar on Jace's vehicle. She wasn't taking all that much with her to LA, given Aline and Helen already had a house filled with furniture, so a lot of it was going to be stored at Jocelyn and Luke's place, out the back in their old garage.

Isabelle's room had them all working in silence.

They left it until last, so that they wouldn't need to continue working afterwards, and it was a good thing they did. They had all gone sullen and quiet, and after boxing up all of her things and taking her things out to the truck, Alec and Clary both had watery eyes.

"So we'll take all of this over to the Lightwoods," Jace said as he swung the keys around his finger, glancing between his friends. "Are they storing it all?"

"They are," Magnus nodded, answering for Alec. "We ready to head out?"

"Yeah," Clary took in a deep breath as she glanced back over her shoulder toward her house. The only things left were what she was taking with her to LA. Her bed and bedroom furniture, clothes and blankets, some of her kitchen and bathroom things, the flat screen TV that her and Isabelle had pooled their money together to buy and her painting things. It was going to feel strange to stay in the house for the next few days, all empty and desolate. "Thanks for helping."

"Anytime, Clary," Jordan told her, leaning in to give her a hug. Simon had shed a few tears when they were taking things out of her wardrobe and folding all her glittery, sequinned dresses. His eyes were still red as he walked over to Clary and they swung their arms around each other. The hug lasted longer than they usually would, and Clary felt him shake a little under her touch. When they pulled away, Simon kept his head ducked and he walked quickly to the back of the truck. Aec and Magnus hugged Clary goodbye and then she and Jace were left facing each other. Jace stared at her for a long few minutes before turning toward Magnus and Alec who were about to get in the truck.

"Hey, you guys go ahead," he called out to them, tossing his keys toward Magnus, who caught them in one hand. "I'll walk back later." There was questioning look on the Indonesian man's face but Alec actually managed a small smile, nodding and getting in the passenger seat of the car. Jace licked his lips and turned back to Clary. She bit down on her lower lip, looking uncertain, but then nodding once and walking back toward the house, Jace following after her. "I'm not gonna...Not gonna take up heaps of your time," Jace began as they stepped back into the house. "There's just something that I need to tell you." Clary put a few steps between them and crossed her arms over her chest. It was almost like a protective motion, which made Jace feel like shit.

She was wrapping her arms around herself as though to protect herself.

From _him_.

"I love you," Jace blurted out, the words tumbling out gracelessly. Her green eyes widened in surprise. "I love you, and I needed you to know."

"Uh," Clary's mouth dropped open, blinking over at him, her green eyes wide. "Uh, I..." she frowned a little, giving a tiny shake of her head as though she was trying to get the words out. One of her hands coming up to scratch at the nape of her neck. She finally cleared her throat and then began again. "Why are you telling me this? Why are you telling me this _now_?" Jace realized that her hands were shaking a little even though her voice was level. "Are you only telling me this to make me stay—because you don't want me to leave? Is that why?"

"No," Jace took a step closer to her, eyebrows furrowed. "No, that's not it."

"Then _why_?!" Clary cried out, backing away from him and he stopped still.

"Look, maybe that's why I'm saying it now," he admitted, his own voice rising a little. "But that's not why I'm feeling it. I've felt this way for a while, I just...I never said it." Clary was back to being quiet and staring at him again. She looked down at the ground, fixing her eyes in one place. Jace wasn't really sure what he was expecting her to say. In all honesty, he hadn't been expecting to tell her today, but as they had been emptying her house and it was sinking in that she was going to be _gone_ soon, he realized that Alec was right.

He would regret it if he didn't tell her, and she deserved to know.

"I just needed you to know before you left," Jace's voice was soft again, barely a whisper. "That I love you." Clary made a little noise at the back of her throat, it sounded something like a whimper. The silence stretched on, and Jace actually wondered if she wasn't going to say anything to him, and wanted him to leave, but his feet just weren't responding at all to the signals his brain was sending.

Or maybe his brain was just short-circuiting in general.

"I'm still leaving, Jace," Clary told him, her voice catching but her mind clearly still made up. "I'm going to LA, and I'm going to University." Jace's stomach clenched and twisted. "This doesn't change that." The breath in his lungs felt heavy and he tried not to feel disappointed even though he really shouldn't be. She was doing something that was good for her, and he should be happy for her. So he tried to force a smile and nod, and then began backing up toward the door. She didn't say anything as he tripped over the shoes that were lined up against the hallway wall, or when he grappled blindly for the handle. But as he opened the door and stepped out, she took a step forward, and he saw the pain in her green eyes, and the way they had filled with tears. "It's not forever, Jace, and it's not that far away. I'll still be back for holidays and stuff." Jace managed a shaky nod. "And the first semester finishes in a couple of months time, and I'll be back for a few weeks. If you still want to—" she took in a breath that was broken with a hiccup. "If you still feel the same way, we can talk." Jace licked his tongue around his mouth before giving her another smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I understand," he murmured, because he did. It just didn't mean that it didn't hurt. "Goodbye, Clary."

 _Soooooo? What'd you guys think? Leave a review, make me happy, tell me what you enjoyed, what you disliked and let me know if you want a review :)_

 _Alright, so...My favourite songs haven't really changed, I'm still pretty much listening to_ The Greatest Showman _soundtrack, literally on repeat four times in the weekend. I also fell back in love with_ Love Me Now _by John Legend —that man honestly has the voice of a God and I'm completely head over heels in love with his wife —and also_ For You I Will _by Teddy Geiger, which was one of my favourite songs when I was a teenager. Another one I really like is_ Stronger _by Inna._

 _TV show wise..._ Happy! _is fucking incredible and so is_ Black Lightning _. Another one I watched the whole first season of in a day was_ Beyond _, although it's not as good as the other two. Not bad though._

 _I haven't really seen any new movies...Although I'm ridiculously psyched for_ Black Panther _._

 _Let me know songs, fics, TV series, I love hearing what you guys are enjoying! Look forward to hearing from you beautiful people xx_


	26. Chapter 26

_Hey, people! Just letting you all know that there are only two chapters left of this story after this one! I hope you guys all enjoy the update :)_

"I think you'll regret doing it this way," Jocelyn murmured as she wrapped her arms around her daughters shoulders. "I really think you should at least have some kind of dinner or something."

"It's better this way, mum," Clary repeated for what felt like the umpteenth time. She wasn't entirely sure she believed the statement herself, but she had a feeling that if she had a going away party, or a going away dinner, and she had to see Jace for longer than a few minutes, her resolve would possibly crumble, and she would throw this whole opportunity away just to stay with him.

And she couldn't do that.

She loved him.

He loved her.

And if whatever they had between them was actually real, then it would still be there when she came back.

There was a part of her that was still hoping he would show up on her doorstep and declare that he was going to follow her to LA and get a job because he couldn't stand the idea of being apart from her. That was a stupid fantasy, and she knew that it was exactly that, a fantasy, but that didn't stop the niggle of disappointment as the date of arrival came around and she still hadn't seen Jace since the day he and the boys had helped her move.

But it was for the best.

They both needed distance to figure out how they felt and what they were doing. Not just with each other, but with their lives in general. They were in their twenties, and they were going nowhere in this town. Sure, most of the people they hung around with were in similar positions; jobs that paid the bills and for the drugs and alcohol that they drowned themselves in in the weekend. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't where she wanted herself in ten years time.

She needed to do this.

For herself, and for Isabelle, because Isabelle didn't have the chance to do it for herself.

"What about all of your friends, baby?" Jocelyn was still trying to convince her. "Why don't you just stay one last night, and do something with them?"

"Jocie..." Luke said softly, clearly seeing the torn expression on Clary's face. Jocelyn took in a deep breath and all of a sudden her eyes were flooded with tears. She lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Clary's neck and pulling her in for a tight hug, burying her face in her daughters neck.

"Okay, maybe part of this is just because I don't want my baby to leave," she admitted, sounding tearful. Clary knew her own smile was watery as she nuzzled her mothers shoulder. Luke gave them a few more moments before he wrapped his own arms around the two most important woman in his life. There were a few sniffles before Jocelyn straightened up and pushed her hair away from her damp cheeks. "Alright. So, you've got everything? And you'll call us as soon as you get there, right? The _minute_ you arrive, okay? I want to know that you've arrived safe—"

"Mum," Clary let out a breathless laugh as she put her hands on her mothers shoulders. "I promise I'll call you straight away—even before I get out of the car." Jocelyn nodded and then tipped her head so it was resting on Luke's shoulder. "The moving truck will be at the place in a few hours, so hopefully I'll actually have a bed to sleep on tonight."

"Don't worry, everything will work out," Luke told her, his voice soothing. "You've got everything you need, and so even if there's something wrong with the moving truck, you've got everything to crash for a night on your friends couch if that's what it comes to." Clary took in a shaky breath and nodded. "And just as a going away present from me and your mum," Luke pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and was passing over a couple of notes toward her before she could begin to protest.

"No, come on," Clary began. "You guys have already done so much, ever since Iz—"

"Nothing is too much for you," Luke said earnestly, and he sounded so sweet and sincere that Clary couldn't even start to mock him for the cheesiness of his statement. She was starting to tear up all over again and busied herself with taking the money from Luke's hands and shoving it into her own wallet. "And just so you know, I'm even going to make one of those Facebook thingy's, so that I can keep up with what you're doing." Clary snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Okay," she took in a deep breath. "I just need to stop by the boys house, and then I'm off." Luke and Jocelyn nodded, taking a step back as she opened the drivers door for her car and slid inside. The car was filled with bags and boxes, everything that she could fit so that she only needed to hire a tiny moving truck to take her furniture and a couple of the extra boxes. Her phone was fully charged and her car charger was all ready so that she could listen to music the whole way. She yelled out one last goodbye before reversing down the driveway and starting on the way over to the boys house. Alessia Cara was playing on her stereo and she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, trying to ignore and swallow down the lump in her throat.

She had said goodbye to her bosses at the cafe, and to her mum and Luke, and then the final step on the tour was the boys. It's not like they all hadn't told her how much they were going to miss her already, but this was the time that she was actually leaving. She was going to be over three hours away from them, which was the furthest she had ever been from the boys who had been there for her through the hardest moments of her life.

This was meant to be her and Isabelle's adventure.

That made Clary's stomach twist in a painful way.

"Clary!" Alec was the first one out of the house when she pulled up at the curb, practically running to her car. The pressure behind her eyes just became more as she got out of the car and he picked her up off the ground, squeezing her so tight that she actually found it hard to breathe for a few seconds there. "You know you can still change your mind, right? I know you've handed in the notice for your house and everything, but you can totally stay here with us—Jordan practically lives at Maia's now, we can kick him out of his room."

"Hey," Jordan protested, him and Magnus coming up behind the two of them. "I resent that."

"But if it means that our girl gets to stay?" Magnus reasoned. Jordan pursed his lips and the nodded.

"Okay, but only for you, Clare Bear," Jordan agreed. Clary was still in Alec's arms but she managed a smile over his shoulder at the two boys. Simon and Jace came out of the house as well, walking over to join the rest of them. Alec finally let Clary go and she took in a deep breath, feeling her body shudder a little bit as she looked around and the five boys who had created a semi-circle around her. They were all looking at her with sad smiles on their faces, except for Jace, who hadn't lifted his eyes up from the ground yet.

"I'm gonna be back in three months time," she told them, trying to keep her tone upbeat. "And then it's going to be back to normal again." The words weren't true, but the boys smiled at her anyway, trying to make her feel better.

Things were never going to be like they were before them anymore.

She was moving away, and even if she came back for holidays, she wasn't just going to be around the corner anymore.

And Isabelle wasn't ever going to be coming back.

"I'm really going to miss you guys," she managed to choke out, and then Magnus was hugging her, and so was Alec. Jordan managed to worm his way in there as well, while Simon just managed to stick his hand in to awkwardly pat her on the head. The cuddle circle broke and then she gave them hugs and kisses one at a time, before it was just Jace left. They all gave the pair a bit of space, acting as though they were talking to each other while they were all looking at them out of the corner of their eyes.

"So this is it, I guess," Jace reached behind him and rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn't met her gaze yet, dragging his fingers through his hair and chewing down on the inside of his cheek. "Three months, huh?" He finally looked up at her, swallowing hard. He couldn't help the way his brain starting going into overdrive, drinking in every one of her features greedily, as though this was the last time he was ever going to see her. The curve of her neck, the red of her luscious mouth, the sparkle in her green eyes...Jace's hand reached up to cup her face without him even realizing what he was doing.

"Three months," Clary nodded, her voice catching a little. "And then we can—we can talk." She was biting down on her lower lip and Jace wanted nothing more than to reach forward and push their lips together. He would have done it, if it was a few months ago, but it was different now. So instead, he dropped his hand from her face and gave her a hug. A shiver ran down Clary's spine as she let her body relax into his. He was hard in all the places that she was soft, and their bodies fitted together so perfectly, just like they always did. She didn't even realize that tears had started dripping down her cheeks until they pulled apart and there was a breeze that cooled her wet face. She breathed in deep and swiped her hand over her face before giving them all one last smile, and then looked over their heads, to the fence that separated their property from Hodge's. "Bye, Hodge!" She shouted, waving at the older man, who was walking out to get his mail. He smiled and waved back at her.

"We love you, Clary," Magnus said, reaching in to give her one last kiss on the cheek.

Jace wanted to shout.

He wanted to force her to stay.

But he kept his lips pressed together in silence as she got in her car and drove away. Alec came over to him, putting his hand on his shoulder and squeezing hard, before walking into the house. The rest of the boys walked up to the house as well, talking quietly to one another, but Jace was staring up the street, a good ten minutes after her car had disappeared. He didn't even realize that Hodge had walked over to join him until the older man started talking.

"You two would make a good couple," he told Jace quietly. "I always thought that you two would end up together. I hope you're not giving up on her."

"It's going to be pretty hard to make something work when we live hours apart," Jace's voice was bitter.

"I feel as though with everything you two have built together already, you can handle that," Hodge murmured. "If you feel as though it's worth it, you'll make it work." Jace didn't know how to reply, so he didn't. He just kept standing there, looking down the empty street, long after Hodge walked back to his own house.

 _Okay._

 _So, I had my movie/TV show/song recommendations all written up, but then Wednesday happened, and I kind of wanted to say something and it didn't seem right to put them in here along with this._

 _So...I'm going to start this with; I don't understand. I can't comprehend. I have absolutely no idea what the people and the families of those involved in the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida are going through. I can't even imagine what...What they're feeling or how they're doing._

 _I just...I don't even know how to put what I personally feel into words, and then I think about how shit and selfish that is, because I'm halfway around the world, and yet there are people who were_ there _, people who were_ in that school _, and they've been incredibly brave by doing interviews or getting out there via social media about what they went through, and what_ needs to happen _. I watched an interview with one boy who put it well, "We are children. You guys are the adults. Work together, get over your politics and get something done."_

Yes _._

 _Where I live, the last time we had a mass shooting—which is defined where four or more people selected indiscriminately, not including the perpetrator, are killed—was in 1997. In my life time, there have only been three. From what I understand, there have been_ eight school shootings this year alone _in the US. I just—I can't even understand that._

 _I don't usually put things up about national/international events, but there were kids my baby brothers age...There were_ fourteen year olds who were killed _. How do we live in a world where someone can do that? I was absolutely bawling my eyes out when I was reading the updates and watching the videos that kids had posted and I just...I don't understand._

 _I just wanted to say I'm sorry._

 _To anyone who is directly or indirectly affected._

 _To anyone who lives in the US and this is a constant fear for you._

 _Because that's really all I can say xx_


	27. Chapter 27

_Second to last chapter!_

So maybe Jace moped for a few weeks.

He didn't want to talk to anyone, and it wasn't until photos of Clary started going up on Facebook that he snapped out of his funk. It was photos of her with Aline, the girl from the cafe, and her girlfriend Helen, and then a bunch of other people. It was O-Week, which for University students apparently meant getting dressed up in really weird outfits and getting really, really drunk.

He stared at the photos on his laptop, and smoked, and then stared at the photos some more, and drank whiskey straight from the bottle.

She was laughing.

She had her arms around different girls and guys in each of the photos.

She was drinking.

She blatantly looked as though she was having fun.

"You need to stop this, man," Simon said quietly from the doorway, and Jace glared over at him, before blinking as he realized that Simon wasn't wearing his usual attire. He had a pair of jeans on, but the shoes he was wearing had clearly been wiped down and maybe even polished, and the button down shirt he was wearing looked like it had actually been ironed. Jace didn't even know if they had an iron, or if he had gone to his parents place and used theirs. And he had a tie around his neck.

"What are you wearing?" Jace asked, his nose screwing up in confusion. Simon looked down at his outfit and then took in a deep breath.

"I have a job interview," he stated.

"I didn't know you were looking for a new job," Jace raised an eyebrow. Simon stepped from foot to foot, a little nervously, and pushed his glasses further up his nose.

"It's at an accounting firm," Simon gnawed down on the corner of his lip. "It's just in the filing area, helping out with data input and stuff. Nothing fancy, but I always liked math and shit at school. Maybe if I'm good at it, I could start a proper degree, make it into an actual career."

"You were always good with numbers," Jace offered, not too sure what else he was meant to say.

"I was thinking that maybe we all need to take a page out of Clary's book," Simon shrugged, still chewing on his bottom lip. "Step out of our comfort zone and look for jobs that could lead to something more than where we are now." He tipped his wrist and looked at his watch. "I better be going, but stop torturing yourself with those photos."

"I'm not torturing myself," Jace attempted to protest—except the curtains pulled across the windows, the couple empty bottles of alcohol from the past week that were laying on the ground, and the stench of marijuana was clinging to the furniture—that _definitely_ gave off the impression that he was sitting around, moping. Or, torturing himself, as Simon put it. He sighed as he looked back at the computer, where there was a photo of Clary with about five other people, all of them grinning at the camera. She was wearing a tiny black dress with a pair of lady-bird wings on her back, and little diamantes on her face, between her eyes and then over her eyebrows. "Maybe I'm torturing myself a little," he admitted.

"Come on, man," Simon came into the room and bumped his hip against Jace's shoulder. "Clean yourself up. Have a shower. _Stop staring at photos of her._ "

"Yeah, I know," Jace sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. Simon gave him a half smile and started toward the door.

"Oh yeah, and Hodge came over about half an hour ago, saying that he wanted to talk to you. I wasn't sure if you were awake yet, so I said that I would pass on the message," Simon told him. "I'll see you later on tonight."

"Laters, man," Jace mumbled, spinning back around in his desk chair to look at the picture.

She looked happy.

And he loved her.

So her being happy should make _him_ happy.

Jace took in a deep breath and slammed the lid of the laptop shut, and then got up. He went to the bathroom and showered first, washing his hair and then using the misted up mirror to shave off the stubble he had been ignoring for the past couple of days. After getting changed, he headed over to Hodge's place.

* * *

"What are you doing now?" Clary asked as she came into the house and saw Aline in an extremely awkward and probably very advanced yoga pose. She was getting used to coming in and seeing either Aline or Helen in the lounge, their bodies all twisted and contorted. On the bright side, it was never any actual _sex_ that she walked in on, but with some of the ways they could bend their bodies, she could imagine how acrobatic they could be in bed. "Seriously, that can't be good for you, I don't care what the DVD says." Aline let out a snort and then fell down gracefully from the position she was in.

"It's _very_ good for you, just so you know," Aline retorted as she picked up her water bottle and collapsed onto the couch next to where Clary had just put down her bag. "So, how was your day?" Clary slumped down into the arm chair opposite Aline, closing her eyes as she rested her head back in the cushions. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and gave her a smile.

"It was amazing," she breathed. "I fucking love Ms Branwell. Like, she comes off like a total hard ass, but I've never had someone who gets my art like she does. When she comes around and looks at my concepts, or what I've started painting, she _understands_ it and she doesn't have to ask me one hundred questions to get to that point." Aline watched her room mate as she gushed about her teacher, a grin on her face.

She had been a bit worried about how Clary was going to adjust, being in a completely new city and away from everyone she knew, especially after everything she had been through. But she had thrown herself feet first into college life, letting Aline and Helen introduce her to their friends and taking her out every night throughout O-Week, even though they all felt like absolute death warmed over the next morning. But even though Clary was all smiles and happy comments throughout the day, both Aline and Helen had heard her crying herself to sleep at night. A few drunk conversations between the three girls, when they were drinking wine and sitting in their pyjamas in the lounge, and Clary had spilled bits and pieces about her life. She avoided talking about Isabelle, although Aline and Helen already knew that story. But there was Jace, and Simon, and the three boys that had been just as close to her family as her mother and step-father.

But it was a month and a half in, and Clary was enjoying herself, Aline could tell.

Especially when she was talking about her classes.

"So Helen finishes work at about seven, and she was going to pick up pizza on the way home," Aline said after Clary had finished talking about her day.

"Sounds perfect," Clary grinned as she got up. "I'm just gonna go and have a shower." Clary walked down the hallway to her bedroom, opening up her drawers to pull out a change of clothes to get into after her shower. Her bedroom here was different from the one back home, laid out all differently with the bed at a different angle and different pictures hanging on the walls.

It was on purpose.

She needed to separate what she was doing now, with what she had been doing then.

Even though things were different, the same seven people were the ones who had their smiling faces plastered on the walls, giving her strength and hope every time she woke up in the morning. Beside her bed were photos of her with her mum, and Izzy and Jace. And then on the walls there were framed photos of her with all the boys, and one of her with Luke and Jocelyn. The best thing about her new room was the double windows which caught the afternoon sun and made painting so much easier.

Clary stripped out of her clothes and pulled the phone out of her jeans pockets and looked at the screen. The background photo was one of her and Jace, taken a few months ago, before Isabelle had died. They were outside and the sun was shining, and Clary had her tongue stuck out so that her piercing was showing, and Jace was laughing and had his nose pressed to her temple.

She hadn't talked to Jace since leaving, although he had liked a couple of the pictures that she had been tagged in on Facebook, and he had commented on a few, which she had replied to.

But other than that; nothing.

Clary tossed her phone onto the bed, and walked across the hall to the bathroom.

* * *

"I wasn't aware that we were all going out there and getting new jobs. Was there some pact I wasn't aware of?" Jordan glanced around the lounge to his friends.

"There are literally two of us who have new jobs," Simon pointed out. "That doesn't mean ' _all_ '."

"Well, Alec might be one of you soon as well," Jordan shrugged, and the rest of the men in the room turned to Alec.

"What?" He muttered, looking a little embarrassed.

"We know that you applied for that apprenticeship at the garage across town," Jace said with a small smile.

"I don't know if I'll get it, it's not a sure thing," Alec mumbled.

"Come on, pretty eyes," Magnus nudged his boyfriend in the side. "They loved you at the interview." Alec shrugged, clearly uncomfortable with the attention. Jace couldn't stop his smile as he looked around the room at his friends.

It had been two months since Clary had left.

Almost four months since the accident.

And they were doing better.

They weren't perfect, but they were better than they were a few weeks ago.

Jordan and Maia were a solid couple now, and it was only a matter of time before the pair of them moved in together. They spent almost all of their time together, and the boys loved her, she got on well with all of them. Magnus and Alec were doing well together, and Alec wasn't spending so much time in his bedroom. He still went to his parents house to visit them and his little brother a lot more than he had a six months ago, but that was understandable. He had applied for an apprenticeship as a mechanical engineer at a garage, which was a job that could actually pay the bills and have enough left over for him to save money.

Simon didn't go out to parties with them very much anymore, he preferred to stay in and play playstation, or games on his computer, but the boys didn't push him. So through the week he was at the accounting firm in town, with his ironed shirt and his hair combed and parted on the side, and he seemed to be enjoying it. Jace was the same, he didn't go out very much either, but it wasn't just because he didn't want to. It was because he was working six days a week and they were long days as well, sometimes up to twelve hours. Hodge had his own business, a building business, that he created from the ground up when he was in his early thirties. He didn't work so much anymore, but he still had a say in the hiring process and oversaw a lot of the projects. He had gotten Jace a job there, and even though the pay wasn't the greatest at the moment, there was lots of of opportunities for advancement, and he got on with the guys he worked with. Hell, this was a lot better long term for him than club promoting. He couldn't do that for the rest of his life.

They were doing better.

And Jace hoped that Clary was as well.

Every morning he wanted to call her; to see how she was, how she was doing, if she was okay. But he stopped himself, because he wanted to respect her wishes and give her space. Gave _them_ space.

They were two months down.

One month to go.

 _Ooh, have you guys seen the trailer for_ Venom _? Aaaaand next season of_ Jessica Jones _is out! So that's my binging this weekend. Haha._

 _Ick, and in depressing news, a lot of you will know how much I love_ SVU _, and I'm just a mess over Rafael Barba leaving :( I was so upset about Stabler leaving all those years ago, and then Nick Amaro because I've in love with Danny Pino since_ Cold Case _. Sigh, so I'm in grieving for that...And now I'm worried about Emily Prentiss from_ Criminal Minds _! Noooooo! But in happier news, the new show that I binged on—finally!—was_ Dynasty _. It's incredible and I looooove Fallon and Steven. I definitely recommend._

 _I'm also seeing_ Black Panther _for the second time this weekend. Shit. I just don't know who I love more. Lupita Nyong'o, who is also the background on my phone at the moment, Chadwick Boseman or Michael B Jordan...The movie itself is just so fucking gorgeous, the costumes and the location and setting, it's just incredible. And the soundtrack! Shit! It's all amazing!_

 _Songs that I'm loving right now are some older ones—_ Luka _by Suzanne Vega,_ Look _by Roxette and_ Hands _by Jewel. Ooh, and also_ Jolene _, which is my favourite Dolly Parton song, but I love Miley Cyrus' version of it as well :)_

 _Send recommendations my way, and let me know if you want a preview x_


	28. Chapter 28

_This is the final chapter._

 _OMG!_

 _It feels like I've been writing this for a really long time, and it's so sad that it's over! But I've got so many other stories I'm working on, so make sure you look into those._

 _A big thank you to you guys for your love and support, and I hope you enjoy the last chapter. This was heavily inspired by the ending of_ A Spectacular Now _, which was one of the big inspirations for this whole story in general. I definitely recommend watching that movie :)_

"Got any plans this weekend, Jace?!" Came a shout from Bat Velasquez from on top of the roof of the house that they were working on. Jace looked up from where he was lifting up a long piece of wood that was going to be part of the wall structure.

"Nah, man," Jace replied, swiping his hand over his hand over his eyes. "Probably just a quiet one in."

"You know, from everything I heard about you from Kaelie and Seelie, you never used to spend your weekends like that," Bat smirked down at him through the skeleton of the roof. Jace shrugged.

"Times change, I guess," Jace didn't look too bothered as he looked up at the sky. There was another clap of thunder, despite how hot it was, and it was only a matter of time before the rain started pouring down. It was just after two, and it had been threatening to rain since the morning. Their site manager, Alaric Rodriguez, had told them to keep working until the point where it started raining, and then they were free to go home. They all only lasted until half past two, and then the sky split in two when a particularly loud crack of thunder sounded, and all of the men were dashing from the house and toward their trucks and cars that were parked in the muddy driveway. Alaric shouted a goodbye to all of them before they were driving their separate ways.

Jace turned up his radio, not bothering to turn on his heater because the weather was still warm despite the rain, and he was going to be home soon enough. Given the time of day, he would be the only one at home, which he was thankful for. He was going to shower, and then probably sit down in front of the TV and binge watch _Vikings._

The three months were up.

Jace had tried to not be counting down the days obsessively, but there were little marks in the corners of the calender that he had brought and propped up on his bedside table. Her semester finished on Wednesday of next week, and then Simon had said that she would be back in the few days following that. Jace would be lying if he said his stomach hadn't been twisting and in knots ever since Simon had passed on that she was coming back. The day that Simon had told him when Clary's semester finished, Jace had locked himself in his room and just stared up at the ceiling, smoking a joint until he fell asleep.

He _had_ been doing better. The new job kept him busy, and he was making sure that he wasn't locked away in his room all the time. He had even gone out for dinner with the Lightwoods a couple of times, despite how difficult that had been without Isabelle. He knew that the time apart had been a good thing, even if it had hurt.

But since finding out when she was coming back, all he could think about was what he was going to say to her.

What they were going to talk about.

Whether or not there had been someone else while she had been away.

If she still felt the same way about him.

The idea that she didn't filled him with a ridiculous amount of dread, even though he knew that he couldn't blame her. If her feelings had changed, if she had decided that she was better off with someone else or maybe that she was just better off by herself, then he would respect that, he wouldn't push her.

He would be devastated, but he would try to hide it. The distance would make that easier.

Only seeing her every few months would make things more manageable.

Jace leaned his head against the tiles in the shower, the warm water trickling across the muscular planes of his back and down the back of his thighs. He had always had some definition to his body, but after the past month or so working with the boys in the building yard, he had bulked up a little, and he had more of a tan on his face and arms. He let out little huffs of breath through his nose, swallowing hard as he thought about Clary.

Clary.

He needed to see Clary.

Not through a computer screen, not next week when she got back— _now_.

The idea started as just that, an idea that he dismissed quickly. But the more he thought about it, the better the idea seemed. It was almost three o'clock. It was a three hour drive to the University—maybe he had Google mapped it a hundred times or so in the middle of the night when he had this crazy idea after a couple of drinks—which means he would get there around six. He had no idea where she lived, but he knew that it was close to the campus.

He could see Clary by about six-thirty or seven o'clock that night.

Rational thinking, such as perhaps ringing Simon and asking for her address, went out the window, and his thoughts were quickly set on a one way track. He got out of the shower quickly, rubbing the towel over his body and scrubbing quickly at his hair. He brushed his teeth and raked his fingers through his hair, not caring that it was still a little tangled. Jace changed into a pair of jeans and a light grey v-neck singlet with a short sleeved flannel shirt over the top, pulling on a pair of socks and some shoes.

He was behind the wheel of his car ten minutes after he had got out of the shower, and was speeding out of the town, _Highly Suspect_ blasting through the speakers.

* * *

"And how are we doing over here?" Charlotte Branwell pushed her glasses further up her nose, narrowing her eyes as she took in Clary's painting. There was a portfolio and a show case that made up a majority of their grade that would happen at the end of the year. They would need to have fifteen pieces to put forward. Given there were three quarters in the year, when she had first started it seemed as though she had a lot of time. But now she was at the end of the first semester and only had three peices actually completed and about four others started. She was going to need to work through her holidays, which unfortunately meant that she was going to need to cut her visit home short. Instead of two weeks back in her hometown, she was only going to be there for a week. She hadn't quite broken the news her mum or Simon or Alec yet, and she wasn't looking forward to it.

"Think that I'm going to be spending the rest of my year locked in here," Clary snorted, rubbing the back of her hand across her face. She felt a wet smudge against her forehead and cringed as she realized that she must've gotten some paint on her face.

"There are worse places to spend your year," Mrs Branwell gave her a smile as she looked at Clary's new piece. There was a definite theme going, and Charlotte hadn't pressed for too much information, but it was very clear that the girl that Clary kept painting in different, haunting ways that it was someone important to her. The one that she had been working on for the past few weeks was a girls face that faded into the dark purple and pink colours that were on either side. There were butterflies around the girls face, a couple clouding her forehead and another by her lips.

It was Isabelle.

The whole portion of the show case that was sectioned for her art was for Isabelle.

Mrs Branwell had told her that it had to be something personal, something from their heart, something that they were passionate about.

It had to be Isabelle.

"She's very beautiful," Mrs Branwell told her, resting her hand on Clary's shoulder as she looked at few of the other pieces that were resting on easels around her. "You capture her eyes well," the teacher noted, and Clary sucked her lower lip into her mouth as she looked back at her painting. "You going to be in here for much longer? I'm going to be heading out soon."

"Maybe another hour?" Clary looked up at the clock on the wall that said it was almost six.

"Okay, well, you girls take your time, and just remember to pull the door shut behind you," Mrs Branwell reminded her and the three other girls who were working on their own pieces throughout the studio. Clary got on with all them, one of them was close friends with Aline, Lydia Branwell, who was also the niece of Mrs Branwell. Lydia often came over to their place for drinks in the weekends, or for movie nights. And because she was the niece of their teacher, then they got a couple of bonuses; such as being able to use the studio later than Mrs Branwell was willing to stay, and being able to play the radio loud enough that the professors next door would make complaints.

"Helen's had a late lecture," Lydia piped up about half an hour later after checking her phone. "It's just finished. If we leave now, we can meet her and Aline in the main court and then head out for dinner." Clary pursed her lips and looked back at the painting that she had been working on. She had been mainly cleaning her paintbrushes since Mrs Branwell had left, letting her painting dry, and she wasn't going to do anymore tonight.

"Sounds good," Clary pulled the long apron over her head and tossed it toward her high backed chair. Lydia snorted as she looked at Clary and the red head raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"You've got black paint on your face and then pink paint in your hair," Lydia laughed, although she couldn't say much, given she had green and blue paint on her hands and up her arms, and red drops on her cheek.

"Yeah, yeah," Clary grinned and linked her arm through Lydia's. "Let's go. What you feel like tonight? I think I want Donburi-Ya." She thought for a moment as they walked toward the doors. "Yeah, definitely after Donburi." Lydia nodded thoughtfully as they started down the concrete steps outside the studio.

"Shit yeah, I'm down for that," she agreed. They walked across the campus, toward the main courtyard where they were meeting Aline and Helen. It was still well-lit, the sun still in the sky, although it smelt as though there was rain on it's way. It was a Friday night, and so the University was nowhere near as full as it usually was, but there were still quite a few students on the campus, leaving late lectures or heading toward the library or just straggling and talking to their friends, couples making out. Aline saw them first, jumping up in the air and waving at them, Helen waggling her fingers in their direction. "We've already decided," Lydia greeted them. "We want Donburi."

"Ooh, yes," Helen raised her eyebrows.

"I'm cool with that," Aline grinned, throwing an arm around her girlfriends shoulder and smushing her lips in a kiss against her cheek. "Hey, do you two think that you'll ever leave the studio without being covered in paint?"

"It's a _painting_ studio," Clary snorted, rolling her eyes as the four girls started toward the main exit of the University. "I'm pretty sure being covered in _paint_ is actually just part of what's expected."

"Well, just so you're aware, we need to start separating our clothes, because today was the third time I've ended up with your acrylics on my shit," Helen complained. Clary pouted at her playfully, glancing up as a couple of guys walked in their path, and her and Lydia needed to fall behind Clary's roommates so that they have room to pass on the footpath. Lydia started talking about a party that was happening tomorrow, to celebrate the end of the first semester even though there were still a couple of days left next week, when suddenly Aline and Helen stopped in front of them.

"Shit!" Lydia squeaked as she bumped into Helen.

"Geez, guys, a little warning would be good," Clary stopped just in time to stop herself from tripping over Aline. Neither girl kept walking, and so Clary and Lydia moved around so that they were standing next to them, Clary frowning as she followed Aline and Helen's gaze.

Jace.

Looking gorgeous, and nervous, and beautiful, and staring directly at her.

His hands were buried in his pockets and he was gnawing down on his bottom lip and walking toward her hesitantly. The breeze was catching in his hair, blowing it around his face, and Clary's stomach was in her throat as she watched him approach her. She wasn't even sure what had happened to the three girls she was with, because everything else had completely faded out around her, the only thing in her sight was Jace.

Who was now right in front of her.

Clary's eyes were instantly damp, and she wasn't even trying to hide it.

"Jace," she managed to choke out.

"Clary," Jace stated, swallowing hard as he stopped a few inches away from her. He curled his fingers into fists in his jean pockets, letting out a shaky breath. "So, uh...It's been three months." Clary's eyebrows lifted in response, not too sure what she was meant to say. "I know you're coming home next week, but I—I just really needed to see you. _Now_." Clary licked her tongue along her lower lip, nervousness curdling her blood as she shifted from foot to foot. The silence stretched out between them and Jace scratched the side of his head before huffing out a laugh and looking down at his feet. "I've been thinking about what to say the whole drive over here, and it was a lot smoother than this," he snorted, sounding a little self-deprecating, and Clary couldn't stop her little smile, although she still didn't say anything. Jace took in a deep breath and blinked. "I love you," he stated. "I love you, and if you still feel the same way about me, then I want to make this work. I don't care about the distance, I don't care that it's going to be hard. I want...I want _us_." Clary still hadn't said anything, her green eyes wide, and Jace felt his stomach sink.

Silence couldn't be a good thing.

"I love you," he repeated, his voice sounding a little frail, because there wasn't much else that he could say. Clary pursed her lips together, and then the slight upward turn of her lips moved a little more.

"I love you, too," she breathed, throwing her arms around his shoulders and bringing their lips together.

 _Sooooooo, in exciting news, I'm off to Ed Sheeran in just a few days! Whoop whoop! Don't even care if it rains like the forecast says it's going to, it's going to be amazing._

 _I've got quite a few song recommendations this time;_ All The Stars _by Kendrick Lamar and SZA,_ Pray For Me _by Kendrick Lamar and The Weeknd and_ Love Lies _by Khalid and Normani. Older ones that I've been listening to a bit lately that I used to be completely in love with are_ The Devils Tears _by Angus and Julia Stone,_ Dare You To Move _by Switchfoot (those_ Walk To Remember _feels! Haha) and_ Breath _by Breaking Benjamin._

 _In TV show recommendations by big one is_ Everything Sucks! _on Netflix. It's amazing. Me and my hubby binged the whole thing in an afternoon. Haha. I just love all of the characters so much! The parents, the kids—I definitely have a thing for Scott Pocket, I thought he was fucking amazing. Hahahaha. I know there's a lot of controversy around Kate and Emaline because of the actual actresses, but I thought they were gorgeous._

 _Now, here's where I need some help from you guys! So, in two areas..._

 _First is with_ Pressing Play (Rewind and Repeat) _. I'm doing another round of songfics based on letters of the alphabet and I still have some letters left. K, O, P, Q, U, W, X and Z. So please send me some songs starting with those letters and I'll see if I can make a fic work around them!_

 _The second thing is something that I'll be asking for more help with later. There's a story I'm working on at the moment, called_ Changing Faces _, the summary for it is on my profile, and it's spanning ten years. The year that I'm planning at the moment is 2009. So, what I'm asking from all you beautiful people, is send me things you were into in 2009. Music, movies, TV shows, fashion trends. Things you were dealing with in 2009, things that you were going through. Also big things that happened; celebrity news, political news, national and international events. Anything! I will, of course, credit it you._

 _Leave me one last review, you amazing people, and thank you so much for your support in this story xxx_


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